It’s been a few years since I’ve done a “Your Birthday Today Horoscope” post. I had a landmark birthday in 2018 and decided to go a different direction. Last year I had Freddie take on my Guest Writer responsibilities, which he did on my birthday. So, let’s go back to 2017 and see exactly how things have worked out since then:
Your success secret: big aims and small plans. There’s a sense of forward movement through the entire solar return; progress in any area brings you forward in others, even if it’s not immediately apparent. July and September will bring financial gains you can reinvest for a bigger payoff in December. Libra and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 45, 20, 19, and 38.
Okay, so that was a bunch of crap. I don’t remember exactly how the 2017-2018 ride around the sun went, but I can safely say that any of the things listed that promised anything close to a long-term positive change worked out the way Holiday Mathis had predicted it would. It’s really surprising they let her still publish horoscopes with the track record she has. I'm beginning to doubt her reliability.
Anyway, here’s what, in her infinite cosmic wisdom, my astrological advisor/life coach/role model Holiday Mathis is promising for my Chad Greenway year:
“Your kindness radiates in all directions including toward yourself (Kindness? Radiates? In all directions? Toward YOURSELF? Already I’m suspicious) and this fortifies and emboldens you to new heights of originality (I fail to see how these things would be connected; I think Holiday is just giving her thesaurus a workout here). You’ll fascinate (um, have I ever fascinated anyone? Doubtful), draw a crowd (of children who are legally required to be with me, provided school or crowds ever happens again), sell to it and fund an enterprise you wholeheartedly believe in (I don’t even know what this means). How satisfying to know you’re making the kind of difference the world really needs now (equally satisfying to be told that staying home and not interacting with anyone is apparently the difference the world needs). Sagittarius and Aquarius adore you (Again with this? Each year she lists two astrological signs that supposedly adore me. I’m waiting to see any evidence that this is ever true. Come on, all you adoring Sagittariuses and Aquariuses; if you’re reading this, you probably know how to get in touch). Your lucky numbers are: 6, 10, 33, 20, and 17 (Holiday finally took 45 off my list. Gosh, I wonder why 45 wouldn't be considered a lucky number anymore).
There is literally no telling what the coming year has in store. I mean, that’s essentially true every year, but back in the B.C. era we could at least predict a lot of things based on whatever reliable behavior patterns we’ve established for ourselves. This year, though? I think that’s out the window.
I think it will be a good idea for this next orbit if we all hold on with both hands...but just not to each other.
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