WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE
When the day starts off, I mean literally starts off with something out of the ordinary, the rest of the day feels a little bit off. Like when you wake up and find there's severe thunderstorm warning going on around you; immediately you have to acknowledge this and you don't get that usual gradual reawakening. Today was like that. I woke up today, got up to use the bathroom, then flushed away and the bowl fills and then it all stops. That is most definitely wrong. Now if you don't know this about me, I have phobic issues about plumbing problems that border on the pathological. So as long as the floor wasn't covered in water I was mostly okay, but still concerned. Turned on the sink -- nothing but a gurgle and air. I sprint to the utility room and see that the floor isn't covered with water from the main feed leaking everywhere, so I breathe a little easier. But I'm still kind of freaked. I dig out an old water bill, call the city and discover that my neighborhood to a surprisingly specific degree has been affected by a broken water main. So now I'm sitting here slowly realizing how many times I use water in the morning. And feeling kind of gross, and waiting to hear the sound of my toilet refilling sometime in the near future. I hope.
SEAMUS & BUTCH
Excluding the breeders, the list goes like this: Lady, Arthur, Molly, Milo, Spencer (woo hoo!), Jake, Willow, Mac, and now Seamus and Butch. These are the family dogs we've had throughout a lifetime, leaving out the many other Corgis besides Lady that my dad had in my childhood when he was a puppy breeder. Lady was the one we kept after the breeding stopped, so she was the family dog. And now, thirty-four years later we have two new puppies in the mix after Grandma and Grandpa went and picked up Seamus and Butch. They're cute little guys, but they are 9 and 11 weeks old so they don't do much more than sleep, pee, whine, and bite shoelaces. And get my left eye all red and irritated and swollen if I'm not vigilant about hand-washing after playing with them, I discovered yesterday. Seeing these two made me think about Spencer's days as a puppy, when he was this little thing the size of my shoe who wasn't big enough to run through the grass and had to hop over it. Eleven years now for me and my pup. It makes me wonder about the numbers: how many miles walked, how many Snausages eaten, how many trips to the vet, how many stomach aches he's had, how many environmentally friendly newspaper bags have accompanied us on walks. How did that double tongue click I do evolve into something we both understood? How old was he when he first felt comfortable enough with me to climb up on the couch and fall asleep on my chest? Eleven years is a long time. I see Mac and Willow at my sister's and see how happy they are to have each other. I know Seamus and Butch will likely develop the same kind of dog brotherhood. I honestly think that Spencer and I have way more of a bond because it's always been the two of us.
BLAZIN'
Nephew #1 and his neighborhood bud victoriously completed the Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge yesterday, where they had to eat 12 wings coated in the hottest sauce available in six minutes or less. I had little doubt they'd pull it off since they both like unreasonably hot food and are eating machines. These are the two who could give you a minor dissertation on the Scoville Scale. Nephew #1 actually brought a bottle of hot sauce to his high school to use at lunch that another kid overdosed on and wound up in the hospital that night so he could have his stomach pumped. They didn't walk through the challenge, and afterward looked a little beaten up, but they have their new t-shirts to wear proudly that tell the world they survived the challenge. I was there. Survived is the right word.
RELAY
The Relay for Life is tonight. I hope it's more fun than depressing. There will be some fun people there, so that should help. But cancer is pretty good at negating fun, so we'll see.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The End is The Beginning
I finished writing the book last night.
That is to say I finished a somewhat fine-tuned version of the first draft of the book. I have a completed manuscript. Everything is in place, and the story goes from Point A to Point B to Point C all the way through to The End.
Several years ago, there was a guy who came to substitute teach at my school occasionally. He had once been a teacher there, but left the profession to become a writer after he'd had a couple of his books published. He and I were talking about writing one day, as we often did when he was in the building. But this day was different, because I had just recently found out that I play I had written was going to be produced by a local community theater. The whole thing was little more than an accident that it even happened, especially since I know so little about the theater, but I was excited all the same. He congratulated me on the milestone, and recommended that I don't say anything about it to anyone at school. His reason was because once the news was out, all of these well-meaning and supportive people who didn't know as much about such things would be asking about the progress while not understanding how glacial the process is.
The point I'm trying to make here is that now that the manuscript is finished, people are going to hear that and start reflexively asking, "So when will you get it published? When can I buy my copy?" and so on. And I'm here to tell you that it just. does. not. work. that. way. There are always exceptions, but there is a pretty set procedure in the publishing world about how a manuscript evolves into a published book, if ever. This is now where the hard work begins, and the non-writers in the world don't always seem to get that. Here's what happens from this point:
1 - I get feedback and decide what I agree with and what I don't. This is not so easy, because most people who will read the book will praise the book with vague compliments because they either don't feel qualified to make a criticism about it or they read it from just the eye of a reader. There's nothing wrong with this, because obviously if I write something I want it to be read and considered, and the more people that do that... well, great. But at this stage I need someone to tell me which characters don't need to exist, and what phrases I used as crutches, and so on. Luckily I have a small number of people who will do that for me.
2 - I edit and revise. This is where a lot of the work gets done. Frankly, I don't think I'll have a lot to do with this one because I've been working on it for at least thirteen years, and there has been bits of editing and revising and reforming the story gradually happening all along. I think I've got it pretty tight now. But there are always grammatical and continuity errors to address, and every time I reread something I've written I can find something I would want to do differently.
3 - I research literary agencies, looking for an agent who I think would understand the book and know what to do with it in the marketplace.
4 - I query the agents. You don't just call up agencies and hire someone; you have to convince them to take you on as a client. You write a query letter that describes the book in a manner that will catch their curiosity. Most of the time they'll blow you off, but if you're lucky they'll ask to see some preview pages, maybe about 30 or so, and they'll use that as a sample to determine if they want to see the rest of the book. It's rare to get to this point. I haven't reached that stage yet, but granted, I haven't tried particularly hard either.
5 - If you land an agent, you make the representation deal with them and they get to work on trying to find a publisher who will want your book.
It all seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? The biggest problem is that for every legitimately good manuscript (like I feel mine is) there are tens of thousands of people out there who THINK they can write and gum up the system with a lot of really awful writing and horrible manuscripts. Which makes it harder for agents and publishers to pick out the worthy projects, because they get so buried in so much crap. There are agencies and publishers out there that employ people who do nothing but read previews and determine if they're any good, and then pass them along to the real agents. If you did this all day long, every day, do you think you'd start to glaze over at the reams of paper you read day?
That's just how the system works, and it's really, really hard to break through. My goal is to be able to walk into my local Borders store someday and see my book on the shelf. For me to achieve that, I've got some hoops to jump through. And the whole thing could take years to happen, with the odds being against that it ever will. Am I bitter? No. Not at all. I'm very happy for what I've done, and publishing a book has always been a goal, and one that I still think I have a chance at doing. As long as I still believe that I have something that could make that happen, I just keep trying. But this time? I think I'll be trying harder. Because I really think this one has the potential.
That is to say I finished a somewhat fine-tuned version of the first draft of the book. I have a completed manuscript. Everything is in place, and the story goes from Point A to Point B to Point C all the way through to The End.
Several years ago, there was a guy who came to substitute teach at my school occasionally. He had once been a teacher there, but left the profession to become a writer after he'd had a couple of his books published. He and I were talking about writing one day, as we often did when he was in the building. But this day was different, because I had just recently found out that I play I had written was going to be produced by a local community theater. The whole thing was little more than an accident that it even happened, especially since I know so little about the theater, but I was excited all the same. He congratulated me on the milestone, and recommended that I don't say anything about it to anyone at school. His reason was because once the news was out, all of these well-meaning and supportive people who didn't know as much about such things would be asking about the progress while not understanding how glacial the process is.
The point I'm trying to make here is that now that the manuscript is finished, people are going to hear that and start reflexively asking, "So when will you get it published? When can I buy my copy?" and so on. And I'm here to tell you that it just. does. not. work. that. way. There are always exceptions, but there is a pretty set procedure in the publishing world about how a manuscript evolves into a published book, if ever. This is now where the hard work begins, and the non-writers in the world don't always seem to get that. Here's what happens from this point:
1 - I get feedback and decide what I agree with and what I don't. This is not so easy, because most people who will read the book will praise the book with vague compliments because they either don't feel qualified to make a criticism about it or they read it from just the eye of a reader. There's nothing wrong with this, because obviously if I write something I want it to be read and considered, and the more people that do that... well, great. But at this stage I need someone to tell me which characters don't need to exist, and what phrases I used as crutches, and so on. Luckily I have a small number of people who will do that for me.
2 - I edit and revise. This is where a lot of the work gets done. Frankly, I don't think I'll have a lot to do with this one because I've been working on it for at least thirteen years, and there has been bits of editing and revising and reforming the story gradually happening all along. I think I've got it pretty tight now. But there are always grammatical and continuity errors to address, and every time I reread something I've written I can find something I would want to do differently.
3 - I research literary agencies, looking for an agent who I think would understand the book and know what to do with it in the marketplace.
4 - I query the agents. You don't just call up agencies and hire someone; you have to convince them to take you on as a client. You write a query letter that describes the book in a manner that will catch their curiosity. Most of the time they'll blow you off, but if you're lucky they'll ask to see some preview pages, maybe about 30 or so, and they'll use that as a sample to determine if they want to see the rest of the book. It's rare to get to this point. I haven't reached that stage yet, but granted, I haven't tried particularly hard either.
5 - If you land an agent, you make the representation deal with them and they get to work on trying to find a publisher who will want your book.
It all seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? The biggest problem is that for every legitimately good manuscript (like I feel mine is) there are tens of thousands of people out there who THINK they can write and gum up the system with a lot of really awful writing and horrible manuscripts. Which makes it harder for agents and publishers to pick out the worthy projects, because they get so buried in so much crap. There are agencies and publishers out there that employ people who do nothing but read previews and determine if they're any good, and then pass them along to the real agents. If you did this all day long, every day, do you think you'd start to glaze over at the reams of paper you read day?
That's just how the system works, and it's really, really hard to break through. My goal is to be able to walk into my local Borders store someday and see my book on the shelf. For me to achieve that, I've got some hoops to jump through. And the whole thing could take years to happen, with the odds being against that it ever will. Am I bitter? No. Not at all. I'm very happy for what I've done, and publishing a book has always been a goal, and one that I still think I have a chance at doing. As long as I still believe that I have something that could make that happen, I just keep trying. But this time? I think I'll be trying harder. Because I really think this one has the potential.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Relay Playlist?
The Relay for Life is a week from tonight. This time next week I'll be getting things ready while Spencer will be standing watch by his special front door window, daring anyone to mess with his house as he so often spends his time doing. With the effort that went into raising money this year and this being the 5th anniversary of my sister's death, and with young Master SuperKyle's parents thinking ahead to things like DNR status, there's a lot of emotion spiraling around the event this year. I have my shirt, I helped Grandma turn in our raised money -- just over $2,000 and counting due to the support of so many people who had it in them to donate, and thank you to those who did and are still planning to but simply haven't had the opportunity yet. I've completed my two luminary bags. One for Dop, one for Kyle. A victim, and a survivor.
I'm really looking forward to the event, but I'm holding back from planning too much as far as what I hope to do and see. I've found that in cases like this, just rolling with things can be more satisfying. I do plan on having a wad of cash on hand so Nephews #2 and #3 can run through all of the fund raising booths and buy whatever crappy toys they want to help raise money, and I'm going to be looking over the silent auction very carefully.
But as it so often does, with me it comes down to music. They'll have a DJ there, and this means that at least 40% of the songs played will be crap, and, perhaps even worse, country. So I plan on autofilling the yPod for one night and one night only, christening it the RelayPod. I might go through and make a playlist of significant songs for the night, or I might just wind up using today's album of the day: "Snow" by Spock's Beard.
Simply stated, this is the album that pulled me through my sister's death. It is nothing less than that to me. If you've read enough of this blog to grasp the critical role music plays in my life, you will know what a significant statement that is for me to make.
So do I go for a variety? Do I use songs from the playlist I created while I wrote "Two Years?" Or do I just put "Snow" on and hit repeat? I likely won't know the answer to this until the day arrives.
I'm really looking forward to the event, but I'm holding back from planning too much as far as what I hope to do and see. I've found that in cases like this, just rolling with things can be more satisfying. I do plan on having a wad of cash on hand so Nephews #2 and #3 can run through all of the fund raising booths and buy whatever crappy toys they want to help raise money, and I'm going to be looking over the silent auction very carefully.
But as it so often does, with me it comes down to music. They'll have a DJ there, and this means that at least 40% of the songs played will be crap, and, perhaps even worse, country. So I plan on autofilling the yPod for one night and one night only, christening it the RelayPod. I might go through and make a playlist of significant songs for the night, or I might just wind up using today's album of the day: "Snow" by Spock's Beard.
Simply stated, this is the album that pulled me through my sister's death. It is nothing less than that to me. If you've read enough of this blog to grasp the critical role music plays in my life, you will know what a significant statement that is for me to make.
So do I go for a variety? Do I use songs from the playlist I created while I wrote "Two Years?" Or do I just put "Snow" on and hit repeat? I likely won't know the answer to this until the day arrives.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
So How Did This Happen?
It's 1:00 A.M., Thursday, July 23, Central Time. I have no idea why I'm still awake and as alert as I am. There is literally nothing to do this time of night. I suppose I could go watch a movie or something or a few more episodes from my DVD set of "Sports Night," but for some reason committing to the idea of turning on the TV would feel like I'm surrendering to the idea of not being able to sleep. And it's not like I need to get up and go to work tomorrow. I plan on going to the Y and getting some more Lazyman miles knocked off and then going to my older sister's house to help her try and get her computer to move along a little faster than it does. But it's not like there's a time limit on either of these things happening. So if I don't fall asleep soon, big deal.
Still. It's kind of weird. I've been reading for at least two hours and my eyes are now so dry from it that I think they'd be cottony to the touch. Right now I have my screen set on zoom so I can read what I'm typing, a job that right now would otherwise be difficult. Perhaps you've noticed that my grammar isn't all that tight this time of night (morning?) either.
Odd that I should choose to fill my wakefulness with more words, since that's pretty much what my day was about between the reading I've done this evening and the writing I've done all day. And I mean almost literally all day. My manuscript project for the summer is so close to fruition, I can feel it. If I made a mad effort at it, I could have it done by Sunday night. Of course this version of "done" would be reminiscent of the kind of "done" several of my students perpetrate upon me at various times during the school year... highlighting the differences between "done" and "done well." One big push would get me into the former. And I'd really love to be there, but I'm pacing myself. But today was good. Today I finished the Harry Potter chapter, as I've been calling it. It has nothing to do with Harry Potter or wizards or butterbeer or house-elves, but it has been named as such since out of all of the chapters in this book, this is the one that reminds me the most of something that would be read in a Harry Potter book. Well, not entirely, but in a way. There is a quality this chapter required that isn't really shared by any other, and that quality is what reminds me. I guess that's as good of an explanation as I've got.
I thought about the peaks and valleys in the story line tonight. Of course there is a certain amount of exposition to get through, but once things get moving there are quite a few storyline peaks that propel things forward. They start kind of small and low-stakes, but by the end? Yowza. At least I hope so, because that's what I'm going for. I hope to find out soon enough.
And lest you think I'd forgotten, today's (yesterday's) Album of the Day was Iron Maiden's "No Prayer for the Dying." I think I've said this before, but Maiden is definitely the soundtrack for this book. I listened to at least 5 hours of Iron Maiden today, but that might have been the only complete album in the line up.
Maybe that's what the hold up is with the sleep. Listening to that much Maiden in that little time? I'm bound to have some freaky nightmares once I finally give in.....
Still. It's kind of weird. I've been reading for at least two hours and my eyes are now so dry from it that I think they'd be cottony to the touch. Right now I have my screen set on zoom so I can read what I'm typing, a job that right now would otherwise be difficult. Perhaps you've noticed that my grammar isn't all that tight this time of night (morning?) either.
Odd that I should choose to fill my wakefulness with more words, since that's pretty much what my day was about between the reading I've done this evening and the writing I've done all day. And I mean almost literally all day. My manuscript project for the summer is so close to fruition, I can feel it. If I made a mad effort at it, I could have it done by Sunday night. Of course this version of "done" would be reminiscent of the kind of "done" several of my students perpetrate upon me at various times during the school year... highlighting the differences between "done" and "done well." One big push would get me into the former. And I'd really love to be there, but I'm pacing myself. But today was good. Today I finished the Harry Potter chapter, as I've been calling it. It has nothing to do with Harry Potter or wizards or butterbeer or house-elves, but it has been named as such since out of all of the chapters in this book, this is the one that reminds me the most of something that would be read in a Harry Potter book. Well, not entirely, but in a way. There is a quality this chapter required that isn't really shared by any other, and that quality is what reminds me. I guess that's as good of an explanation as I've got.
I thought about the peaks and valleys in the story line tonight. Of course there is a certain amount of exposition to get through, but once things get moving there are quite a few storyline peaks that propel things forward. They start kind of small and low-stakes, but by the end? Yowza. At least I hope so, because that's what I'm going for. I hope to find out soon enough.
And lest you think I'd forgotten, today's (yesterday's) Album of the Day was Iron Maiden's "No Prayer for the Dying." I think I've said this before, but Maiden is definitely the soundtrack for this book. I listened to at least 5 hours of Iron Maiden today, but that might have been the only complete album in the line up.
Maybe that's what the hold up is with the sleep. Listening to that much Maiden in that little time? I'm bound to have some freaky nightmares once I finally give in.....
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The yPod
Continuing from yesterday.... My Least Favorite Sign: Anything used to promote back to school deals at Target. It's July 21st, people. Seriously.
Anyway. Tonight I'm going to tell you a little bit about the yPod. When I first got my membership at the Y, I brought my iPod along to have some music to listen to while working out. But I never felt secure about that -- all it would take is one swinging arm and a stray finger catching the earphone cord and yanking the iPod to the ground, and what might happen to it when it landed I would rather not think about. Solution? I bought a second iPod, a little postage-stamp sized iPod shuffle. Second generation, I think - the little square ones with minimal controls that only hold a couple gigs of music and have a clip built into the back of it. This was perfect for workouts. Clip it to a pocket, or stuff it into the pocket instead, and it's secure not to mention barely noticeable. I named it the yPod, since it's the iPod I use at the Y. Indeed I amuse myself far too easily.
Going back as far as high school and college, I've used music to help create a certain mood and energy level while exercising. Half the fun of having a yPod is taking the time to continually tweak the songs I keep on it to create a perfect workout playlist. All I need is 100-200 songs on there that will come up randomly and help me to stay focused. Sometimes they seem better in theory than in execution, which just leads to another little tweak to the playlist when I get home. Right now I'm feeling pretty good about what I have on there -- it's been a few days since I've had a song come up that I really wanted to skip. To give you an idea of what I'm striving for, here is a current list of the musical acts featured on the yPod. I'm willing to bet there isn't a single person who will ever read this who can identify every act:
-Alter Bridge
-Metallica
-Redemption
-Dream Theater (of course)
-Iron Maiden
-Mastadon
-Kamelot
-Nickelback (though I'm a little embarrassed about this)
-Night Ranger
-Tesla
-Symphony X
-Coheed & Cambria
-Damn Yankees
-Def Leppard
-Guns N' Roses
-Judas Priest
-Rush
-Saliva
-Savatage
-Serenity
-Valentine
-Van Halen
-Vanden Plas
-Chickenfoot (yeah baby!)
-Hardline
-Motley Crue
-Sum 41
How many of those names left you scratching your head?
Anyway. Tonight I'm going to tell you a little bit about the yPod. When I first got my membership at the Y, I brought my iPod along to have some music to listen to while working out. But I never felt secure about that -- all it would take is one swinging arm and a stray finger catching the earphone cord and yanking the iPod to the ground, and what might happen to it when it landed I would rather not think about. Solution? I bought a second iPod, a little postage-stamp sized iPod shuffle. Second generation, I think - the little square ones with minimal controls that only hold a couple gigs of music and have a clip built into the back of it. This was perfect for workouts. Clip it to a pocket, or stuff it into the pocket instead, and it's secure not to mention barely noticeable. I named it the yPod, since it's the iPod I use at the Y. Indeed I amuse myself far too easily.
Going back as far as high school and college, I've used music to help create a certain mood and energy level while exercising. Half the fun of having a yPod is taking the time to continually tweak the songs I keep on it to create a perfect workout playlist. All I need is 100-200 songs on there that will come up randomly and help me to stay focused. Sometimes they seem better in theory than in execution, which just leads to another little tweak to the playlist when I get home. Right now I'm feeling pretty good about what I have on there -- it's been a few days since I've had a song come up that I really wanted to skip. To give you an idea of what I'm striving for, here is a current list of the musical acts featured on the yPod. I'm willing to bet there isn't a single person who will ever read this who can identify every act:
-Alter Bridge
-Metallica
-Redemption
-Dream Theater (of course)
-Iron Maiden
-Mastadon
-Kamelot
-Nickelback (though I'm a little embarrassed about this)
-Night Ranger
-Tesla
-Symphony X
-Coheed & Cambria
-Damn Yankees
-Def Leppard
-Guns N' Roses
-Judas Priest
-Rush
-Saliva
-Savatage
-Serenity
-Valentine
-Van Halen
-Vanden Plas
-Chickenfoot (yeah baby!)
-Hardline
-Motley Crue
-Sum 41
How many of those names left you scratching your head?
Monday, July 20, 2009
My Two Favorite Signs of the Day
#1 - A small handwritten note posted prominently on the ice button in the middle of the soft drink dispenser at Quiznos:
CAUTION - ICE IS AGGRESSIVE.
#2 -- A highway sign parked outside Broadway Bar and Pizza just outside of Elk River:
PIZZA & BEER - AN EPIC COMBINATION.
CAUTION - ICE IS AGGRESSIVE.
#2 -- A highway sign parked outside Broadway Bar and Pizza just outside of Elk River:
PIZZA & BEER - AN EPIC COMBINATION.
Schulz
Album of the Day: "Isolation" by Toto. Yeah, Toto. You remember them, don't you? Had a few hits in the 70s and 80s? Band made up from California studio musicians? Had some ten or so albums over their career, most of them pretty solid? Okay, I'll concede that maybe Toto doesn't have a particularly broad cultural footprint, but they were still a pretty good band, and Steve Lukather, their guitarist -- criminally underrated and overlooked outside of the worlds of guitar and music nerds. Isolation maybe have been one of their more drug-influenced albums and therefore perhaps a bit lacking in consistency, but it was still one of the cassettes I played for months at a time on my Walkman back in high school during our historically long bus ride. I think if my head is ever cut open for any kind of surgery, the faded tattoo of every note and lyric for Isolation will appear on my brain tissue just from the amount of time I played it on the bus.
The Relay for Life is closing in; in fact, I'm set to meet up with my mother in a few hours so we can turn in our team's money at what they call Bank Night. I don't need to go to bank night -- Mom easily could have turned in the checks on her own -- but for some reason I really want to this year. I want to see all the people working to collect the money and organize the event, I want to see what the new t-shirt design looks like for this year, and I suppose I'm just looking forward to building up the event some in my head. It's kind of a depressing time since everything about it highlights my the absence of my sister, but the relay itself can be a lot of fun, too.
A lot of the money that came in this year came from my family, which in this instance means my extended family on my mother's side. This side of our family is unusually close, but that's not what I'm writing about today. We're also a bunch of nerds who put a lot of value in being the one to make everyone else laugh. A perfect example of this is going on right now, as people have developed a minor bidding war through e-mail to see who is going to be able to donate more than one cousin, only to see him come back with this:
So, you wanna get serious? OK, bring it on! Try to top this -- In addition to our earlier contribution, we pledge the following:
-15 Pfennig (West Germany)
-50 Lira (Italy)
-10 Pence (United Kingdom)
-Un Centesimo (Panama)
-1 Ore (Denmark)
-1/2 Franc (France)
-10 Pennies (Ireland)
-10 Shillings (Somalia)
-10 Pennie (Cayman Islands)
I've got more shiny, antique foreign coins in my vault, some of which may actually have verifiable monetary value, so if you want to "dance", you'd better step up to the plate (mixed metaphor or something).
This is also the same side of the family that years ago, when locked into a duel to come up with the most creative point spread tie-breaker in a football pool, saw point spreads in the hundreds, negative numbers, and fractions. I like to think I won out on this little nerd contest with my point spread (π), which if you think about it was arguably a reasonable guess.
And I'd like to proudly highlight here that few people outside of a math teacher would know what the keystroke for pi is. I'm jus' sayin'.
And to get back to that album of the day, I really have to say I'm liking this one. For something that came out in 1984, this is holding up a lot better than some of the other stuff from my younger days....
(....cue spaceride...)
The Relay for Life is closing in; in fact, I'm set to meet up with my mother in a few hours so we can turn in our team's money at what they call Bank Night. I don't need to go to bank night -- Mom easily could have turned in the checks on her own -- but for some reason I really want to this year. I want to see all the people working to collect the money and organize the event, I want to see what the new t-shirt design looks like for this year, and I suppose I'm just looking forward to building up the event some in my head. It's kind of a depressing time since everything about it highlights my the absence of my sister, but the relay itself can be a lot of fun, too.
A lot of the money that came in this year came from my family, which in this instance means my extended family on my mother's side. This side of our family is unusually close, but that's not what I'm writing about today. We're also a bunch of nerds who put a lot of value in being the one to make everyone else laugh. A perfect example of this is going on right now, as people have developed a minor bidding war through e-mail to see who is going to be able to donate more than one cousin, only to see him come back with this:
So, you wanna get serious? OK, bring it on! Try to top this -- In addition to our earlier contribution, we pledge the following:
-15 Pfennig (West Germany)
-50 Lira (Italy)
-10 Pence (United Kingdom)
-Un Centesimo (Panama)
-1 Ore (Denmark)
-1/2 Franc (France)
-10 Pennies (Ireland)
-10 Shillings (Somalia)
-10 Pennie (Cayman Islands)
I've got more shiny, antique foreign coins in my vault, some of which may actually have verifiable monetary value, so if you want to "dance", you'd better step up to the plate (mixed metaphor or something).
This is also the same side of the family that years ago, when locked into a duel to come up with the most creative point spread tie-breaker in a football pool, saw point spreads in the hundreds, negative numbers, and fractions. I like to think I won out on this little nerd contest with my point spread (π), which if you think about it was arguably a reasonable guess.
And I'd like to proudly highlight here that few people outside of a math teacher would know what the keystroke for pi is. I'm jus' sayin'.
And to get back to that album of the day, I really have to say I'm liking this one. For something that came out in 1984, this is holding up a lot better than some of the other stuff from my younger days....
(....cue spaceride...)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Time Stands Still
Today's Album of the Day is "Time Stands Still" by the Hooters. Now here's a band that most of you have forgotten until "And We Danced" comes on the radio, and you have to stop and think who did that song, whereas I actually have it as one of my ringtones. Well, that first album of theirs, at least the first that was on a label, "Nervous Night" was one of my high school soundtracks. I've been a fan of theirs since then, even after they had been written off by the rest of the world as that band with the mandolins that named their band as a really obvious joke. For the record, Hooters doesn't refer to what you think it does, but rather these little keyboard/wind instruments they used a lot on their early records. Just sayin'.
I saw "Time Stands Still" while browsing iTunes one day, looking for new music from older favorite bands and artists of mine; this actually has helped me discover some good stuff over the years. I found it in February or March of last year. I had given up iTunes downloads for Lent that year (hey, it really was a sacrifice), so it was a big thrill to get a new Hooters album, and a good one at that. It's too bad they broke as an 80s pop band, because the songwriting and instrumentation that developed on their later albums revealed them as being much more.
New subject: I think I've officially run out of things to do on Facebook. Scrabble was the one thing keeping my interested for a long time, but I'm even burned out on that now. There's a Bejeweled Blitz tournament on there that's fun, but I have Bejeweled 2 on my computer already and I can play that on a window that isn't four inches by three inches. I thought it was going to be a great way to stay in touch with relatives and colleagues and some longer distance friends, but I've found that no matter how many people you have on your friend list, everyone seems to communicate pretty exclusively with the same 6 or 7 people and let the others just sit there outside of rare keep-in-touch moments. I don't care if people are fans of "CSI: New York." I'm not interested in knowing which Twilight character is the most like me, particularly if this question is answered by taking a quiz that was written by some middle-schooler who really can't spell. You consider yourself a fan of cheese? Okay. Great. You took the time to choose which candy commercial from the 80s was your favorite? Awesome. I'm more interested in what my long-distance friends and family are doing in their lives. Life is too short to read endless lists of "30 Things You Did In High School That Were Embarrassing."
My non-Facebook day was much better -- I've finally broke into my DVD set of "Sports Night," a TV show from ten years ago that is really, really good. A nice thick dose of some Aaron Sorkin dialogue. In fact, I'm going to cut myself off here so I can get back to my self-inflicted marathon. I think I can get in another four or five episodes before the news comes on tonight....
I saw "Time Stands Still" while browsing iTunes one day, looking for new music from older favorite bands and artists of mine; this actually has helped me discover some good stuff over the years. I found it in February or March of last year. I had given up iTunes downloads for Lent that year (hey, it really was a sacrifice), so it was a big thrill to get a new Hooters album, and a good one at that. It's too bad they broke as an 80s pop band, because the songwriting and instrumentation that developed on their later albums revealed them as being much more.
New subject: I think I've officially run out of things to do on Facebook. Scrabble was the one thing keeping my interested for a long time, but I'm even burned out on that now. There's a Bejeweled Blitz tournament on there that's fun, but I have Bejeweled 2 on my computer already and I can play that on a window that isn't four inches by three inches. I thought it was going to be a great way to stay in touch with relatives and colleagues and some longer distance friends, but I've found that no matter how many people you have on your friend list, everyone seems to communicate pretty exclusively with the same 6 or 7 people and let the others just sit there outside of rare keep-in-touch moments. I don't care if people are fans of "CSI: New York." I'm not interested in knowing which Twilight character is the most like me, particularly if this question is answered by taking a quiz that was written by some middle-schooler who really can't spell. You consider yourself a fan of cheese? Okay. Great. You took the time to choose which candy commercial from the 80s was your favorite? Awesome. I'm more interested in what my long-distance friends and family are doing in their lives. Life is too short to read endless lists of "30 Things You Did In High School That Were Embarrassing."
My non-Facebook day was much better -- I've finally broke into my DVD set of "Sports Night," a TV show from ten years ago that is really, really good. A nice thick dose of some Aaron Sorkin dialogue. In fact, I'm going to cut myself off here so I can get back to my self-inflicted marathon. I think I can get in another four or five episodes before the news comes on tonight....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Say it RIGHT
After having a long conversation with my family this evening about grammatical mistakes people make that drive us crazy, I have a comment to make. I've noticed this in commercials, both on the radio and on TV. It's a trend that I find kind of disturbing:
The word is "sandwich," not "samwich."
The word is "sandwich," not "samwich."
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
You Want It, You Got It
It's been a few days since I posted. I figured I better get something up here again just in case someone is actually reading. Don't want to chase them off from a lack or absence of activity....
First off, it's worth mentioning why I've been so bloggingly inactive as of late. Happily, other writing has taken precedence. Looking at the color-coding system I have going in the folder where my chapter files are stored for the manuscript I am SO CLOSE to finishing, I see two chapters tagged red (meaning they are pretty close to done), six tagged green (meaning they exist only as fleshed-out outlines right now), and a whopping NINETEEN tagged blue, meaning they are more or less complete. We'll go with less here, because once I have all of the chapters finished up so I'm happy with them, I'll have to go through everything all as one big document to check for continuity and general first-look editing. But after that it will be time to PDF that baby and start sending it out to my Opinion Committee to get reactions. I don't expect much in the way of people saying to make any big revisions, especially since I really only have two people I know I can count on who won't pull any punches if they see something they don't like, but also because I feel this project is going to turn out strong. A reasonable estimate would be that I've worked on this project on and off for about fifteen years now. I think it's had appropriate time to gestate. My one goal as a writer is to someday be able to walk into my local Borders and see one of my books on the shelf. Maybe, just maybe, this one will make it happen. I think it has the right combination of quality and marketability that almost all of my other stuff has lacked.
Album of the Day: "You Want It, You Got It" by Bryan Adams. When I saw this had finally shown up on iTunes, I was very excited since I'd been looking for it for probably years. This thing is OLD. This is from back before anyone had any idea at all who Bryan Adams is, or was, depending on your definition of musical relevance... I was kind of leaning toward the 'was' myself before I decided I'd give him credit for not being dead. Even if his career kind of is. But back in the formative years, Bryan was the man. I saw him live...let's see.... four times? "Cuts Like a Knife," "Reckless," "Into the Fire," and then on an old-fart co-headline tour with Def Leppard a couple summers back. The first three times I saw him I really enjoyed his shows, but those tours were all back in that 1983 - 1987 window of time when people played him on the radio and bought his albums.
That fourth show? Wow. Different story. I really did enjoy the show. It was the first time I saw Def Leppard and they put on a great show. I saw the show with my cousin who is NOT the Secretary of State and his wife. It was at Midway Stadium just outside of St. Paul, an outdoor minor-league baseball field, which was the perfect place to see an outdoor concert on a perfect late July evening. My cousin was even introduced to the concept of a contact high, courtesy of the dude who stood behind us down on the field for about half an hour. The crowd was made up of 30 and 40 somethings out to pretend they could still rock like they were seventeen, but now old enough to buy beer. The babysitters of the Twin Cities Metro Area made out like bandits that night, I can tell you. Since we were in general admission, people were walking all around so you didn't get stuck next to the same people all night. I fell in love at least three different times during the show. There was one particular woman out with her girlfriends with these turquoise capri pants on... wow.... but I digress.
Bryan Adams really stole the show that night, if you take "stole the show" to mean that he found a way to take a stadium full of people out and away from the kids for a night and looking to have a good time, and then sucking all of the life out of them. I highly suspect he skipped his Metamucil that day, and it came across in his performance. I won't describe all of the suck for you, other than to say that about half of the songs he played were songs that NO ONE in the audience had ever heard before (songs from his "new album" that we didn't know existed). And, AND, he did the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a rock show -- he brought some woman up onstage to sing along with a song... and it wasn't one of his hits. She said she knew the song when he pulled her out of the crowd, and why wouldn't she because it got her up onstage. But when she couldn't sing it, even after someone in the band provided a lyric sheet, HE SENT HER BACK INTO THE CROWD. Then he asked again if there was anyone who wanted to come up and sing this song that nobody in the stadium other than he and the members of his band had heard before. He got another volunteer, and again, she didn't know the song, but she was at least drunk enough to give it a try and put up something of a flirty fight when he tried to get her off the stage as well.
He broke through with the Cuts Like a Knife album, but back before then the once-mighty KQRS -- again, the only socially acceptable Twin Cities radio station of my high school years -- played two Bryan Adams songs from today's album. One, "Lonely Nights," was one of those minor hits of the time that you might recognize if you're about my age. The other one, "Fits Ya Good," was more of a stomping rock song that hinted at a harder-edged Bryan than the heartbroken "Lonely Nights" and the mullet he was rockin' on the album cover indicated.
Having played through the album now, I can say this: Nephew #1 was in a band in middle school. They called themselves Silent Tyrant for awhile; I don't think that was their name when they finally broke up, but I thought it was kind of a cool name for a middle school rock band. Anyway, I saw a couple Silent Tyrant videos on YouTube, and I saw them play at a Battle of the Bands showcase they signed up for at the 7th Street Entry at First Ave. down in the Cities. I feel this makes me qualified to say that there are at least three songs on "You Want It, You Got It" that would not live up to Silent Tyrant at their best moments.
Outside of it's two radio songs and maybe one other one, this album is crap. I'm still happy I found it, because I know the 15-year-old me would want to see it in his adult music library. But one thing I'm finding out during the Album a Day project is that some of the music that you loved and allowed to define you in high school does not always hold up. More often than not it sounds dated and doesn't measure up to your memory of it's greatness. Prime example right here.
By the way -- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ROCKS.
I'll also stick a Lazyman Update in here -- out of the 150.7 miles of cardio I'm supposed to do to complete this, I've finished 45.7 miles, which puts me about 1/3 of the way there. I went to the dentist today and had my blood pressure taken as a part of my visit. "Blood pressure looks good," is what I was told. Who would have thought exercise and health were related...?
First off, it's worth mentioning why I've been so bloggingly inactive as of late. Happily, other writing has taken precedence. Looking at the color-coding system I have going in the folder where my chapter files are stored for the manuscript I am SO CLOSE to finishing, I see two chapters tagged red (meaning they are pretty close to done), six tagged green (meaning they exist only as fleshed-out outlines right now), and a whopping NINETEEN tagged blue, meaning they are more or less complete. We'll go with less here, because once I have all of the chapters finished up so I'm happy with them, I'll have to go through everything all as one big document to check for continuity and general first-look editing. But after that it will be time to PDF that baby and start sending it out to my Opinion Committee to get reactions. I don't expect much in the way of people saying to make any big revisions, especially since I really only have two people I know I can count on who won't pull any punches if they see something they don't like, but also because I feel this project is going to turn out strong. A reasonable estimate would be that I've worked on this project on and off for about fifteen years now. I think it's had appropriate time to gestate. My one goal as a writer is to someday be able to walk into my local Borders and see one of my books on the shelf. Maybe, just maybe, this one will make it happen. I think it has the right combination of quality and marketability that almost all of my other stuff has lacked.
Album of the Day: "You Want It, You Got It" by Bryan Adams. When I saw this had finally shown up on iTunes, I was very excited since I'd been looking for it for probably years. This thing is OLD. This is from back before anyone had any idea at all who Bryan Adams is, or was, depending on your definition of musical relevance... I was kind of leaning toward the 'was' myself before I decided I'd give him credit for not being dead. Even if his career kind of is. But back in the formative years, Bryan was the man. I saw him live...let's see.... four times? "Cuts Like a Knife," "Reckless," "Into the Fire," and then on an old-fart co-headline tour with Def Leppard a couple summers back. The first three times I saw him I really enjoyed his shows, but those tours were all back in that 1983 - 1987 window of time when people played him on the radio and bought his albums.
That fourth show? Wow. Different story. I really did enjoy the show. It was the first time I saw Def Leppard and they put on a great show. I saw the show with my cousin who is NOT the Secretary of State and his wife. It was at Midway Stadium just outside of St. Paul, an outdoor minor-league baseball field, which was the perfect place to see an outdoor concert on a perfect late July evening. My cousin was even introduced to the concept of a contact high, courtesy of the dude who stood behind us down on the field for about half an hour. The crowd was made up of 30 and 40 somethings out to pretend they could still rock like they were seventeen, but now old enough to buy beer. The babysitters of the Twin Cities Metro Area made out like bandits that night, I can tell you. Since we were in general admission, people were walking all around so you didn't get stuck next to the same people all night. I fell in love at least three different times during the show. There was one particular woman out with her girlfriends with these turquoise capri pants on... wow.... but I digress.
Bryan Adams really stole the show that night, if you take "stole the show" to mean that he found a way to take a stadium full of people out and away from the kids for a night and looking to have a good time, and then sucking all of the life out of them. I highly suspect he skipped his Metamucil that day, and it came across in his performance. I won't describe all of the suck for you, other than to say that about half of the songs he played were songs that NO ONE in the audience had ever heard before (songs from his "new album" that we didn't know existed). And, AND, he did the dumbest thing I've ever seen at a rock show -- he brought some woman up onstage to sing along with a song... and it wasn't one of his hits. She said she knew the song when he pulled her out of the crowd, and why wouldn't she because it got her up onstage. But when she couldn't sing it, even after someone in the band provided a lyric sheet, HE SENT HER BACK INTO THE CROWD. Then he asked again if there was anyone who wanted to come up and sing this song that nobody in the stadium other than he and the members of his band had heard before. He got another volunteer, and again, she didn't know the song, but she was at least drunk enough to give it a try and put up something of a flirty fight when he tried to get her off the stage as well.
He broke through with the Cuts Like a Knife album, but back before then the once-mighty KQRS -- again, the only socially acceptable Twin Cities radio station of my high school years -- played two Bryan Adams songs from today's album. One, "Lonely Nights," was one of those minor hits of the time that you might recognize if you're about my age. The other one, "Fits Ya Good," was more of a stomping rock song that hinted at a harder-edged Bryan than the heartbroken "Lonely Nights" and the mullet he was rockin' on the album cover indicated.
Having played through the album now, I can say this: Nephew #1 was in a band in middle school. They called themselves Silent Tyrant for awhile; I don't think that was their name when they finally broke up, but I thought it was kind of a cool name for a middle school rock band. Anyway, I saw a couple Silent Tyrant videos on YouTube, and I saw them play at a Battle of the Bands showcase they signed up for at the 7th Street Entry at First Ave. down in the Cities. I feel this makes me qualified to say that there are at least three songs on "You Want It, You Got It" that would not live up to Silent Tyrant at their best moments.
Outside of it's two radio songs and maybe one other one, this album is crap. I'm still happy I found it, because I know the 15-year-old me would want to see it in his adult music library. But one thing I'm finding out during the Album a Day project is that some of the music that you loved and allowed to define you in high school does not always hold up. More often than not it sounds dated and doesn't measure up to your memory of it's greatness. Prime example right here.
By the way -- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ROCKS.
I'll also stick a Lazyman Update in here -- out of the 150.7 miles of cardio I'm supposed to do to complete this, I've finished 45.7 miles, which puts me about 1/3 of the way there. I went to the dentist today and had my blood pressure taken as a part of my visit. "Blood pressure looks good," is what I was told. Who would have thought exercise and health were related...?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Word of the Day: Misanthropic
Misanthropic is one of my favorite words. Partially because it describes me a lot of the time. If you aren't familiar with the word, well, good for you. Being a misanthrope means that you really don't like people very much. I have a t-shirt, a favorite of mine, that reads "People are idiots. And I hate them." The shirt came from the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine," which is created by Stephan Pastis, one of the kings of Misanthrope Island (although I wonder how the dude can have close to 4,000 friends on Facebook... must be a clever marketing ploy for him). I love the comic, but I also share the sentiment on what seems like far too many occasions.
SUCH AS THE PAST FEW DAYS. Now, I knew when I moved into a house two miles from my school, I was going to occasionally run into people from school since I'm only separated from the neighborhoods where they live by a big ol' sprawl of a shopping center. This was fine. But MAN. The past few days I wouldn't be able to grab a dead cat by the tail and swing it around my head without hitting someone I know.
It's not always bad. This list of acquaintances I've seen includes: two women I work with or have worked with on different things at the district level (I saw these two in a space of about 20 minutes in two completely different random settings), a really friendly police detective I've known for a long time, the husband of a good friend of mine, and a woman I've mildly lusted after for quite awhile now. Yeah, I know. I'm a sinner. Anyway.
All good encounters. I'm at least friendly with all of these people and hadn't seen any of them for at least a month, so a little small talk isn't so bad. Good to see the peers. What I don't always like? Seeing the parents from school. Or the students. Or the former parents. Or the former students. And this often has little to do with whether or not I got along with them when they were involved with me at school.
Sometimes chance encounters like this can be fun. Running into SuperKyle at Valleyfair, and at Target once. Those were nice. Waiting in line at the theater to buy a movie ticket and nearly getting tackled by eight 5th grade girls, all my students, who were there for a birthday party and spotted me, then made a big scene with the rest of the line watching. Kind of a funny moment. Watching a student from a LONG TIME ago try and get someone else to work the register at Panera for her when I was in line because she was too shy to wait on me. And luckily I think I've had a pretty good relationship with most of the families I've worked with over the years, so most people don't cringe too much when they see me. But man, I tell ya, there are times when you just want to be LEFT. ALONE.
Tonight. I get home from Nephew #3's birthday party, and since I was up late writing the night before, I was dead tired. I turned on the TV and sat down to watch a Harry Potter marathon, fully knowing and in fact planning that I would fall asleep in less than ten minutes. And I did. But when I woke up an hour later and went to fill the dog's water dish, I realized that the dog needed water. Yeah, I buy my dog bottled water. He's got white hair and I have hard water that stains his face, and he has stomach problems that don't go well with city water so SHUT UP. Anyway, I see I need to get some more and make a run to my local Rainbow, which is kind of scuzzy but closer to home and a quicker drive.
I'll spare the details here just in case, but suffice it to say I was in a grouchy mood and had to actively avoid running into someone from my former school years that I really did not want to talk to who happened to be in the store at the same time. And I mean actively, because every time I turned to a new aisle, there they were. As soon as I had the water, I was out of there.
Summer break just isn't quite as satisfying when you aren't allowed to fall off the face of the Earth when you want to.
SUCH AS THE PAST FEW DAYS. Now, I knew when I moved into a house two miles from my school, I was going to occasionally run into people from school since I'm only separated from the neighborhoods where they live by a big ol' sprawl of a shopping center. This was fine. But MAN. The past few days I wouldn't be able to grab a dead cat by the tail and swing it around my head without hitting someone I know.
It's not always bad. This list of acquaintances I've seen includes: two women I work with or have worked with on different things at the district level (I saw these two in a space of about 20 minutes in two completely different random settings), a really friendly police detective I've known for a long time, the husband of a good friend of mine, and a woman I've mildly lusted after for quite awhile now. Yeah, I know. I'm a sinner. Anyway.
All good encounters. I'm at least friendly with all of these people and hadn't seen any of them for at least a month, so a little small talk isn't so bad. Good to see the peers. What I don't always like? Seeing the parents from school. Or the students. Or the former parents. Or the former students. And this often has little to do with whether or not I got along with them when they were involved with me at school.
Sometimes chance encounters like this can be fun. Running into SuperKyle at Valleyfair, and at Target once. Those were nice. Waiting in line at the theater to buy a movie ticket and nearly getting tackled by eight 5th grade girls, all my students, who were there for a birthday party and spotted me, then made a big scene with the rest of the line watching. Kind of a funny moment. Watching a student from a LONG TIME ago try and get someone else to work the register at Panera for her when I was in line because she was too shy to wait on me. And luckily I think I've had a pretty good relationship with most of the families I've worked with over the years, so most people don't cringe too much when they see me. But man, I tell ya, there are times when you just want to be LEFT. ALONE.
Tonight. I get home from Nephew #3's birthday party, and since I was up late writing the night before, I was dead tired. I turned on the TV and sat down to watch a Harry Potter marathon, fully knowing and in fact planning that I would fall asleep in less than ten minutes. And I did. But when I woke up an hour later and went to fill the dog's water dish, I realized that the dog needed water. Yeah, I buy my dog bottled water. He's got white hair and I have hard water that stains his face, and he has stomach problems that don't go well with city water so SHUT UP. Anyway, I see I need to get some more and make a run to my local Rainbow, which is kind of scuzzy but closer to home and a quicker drive.
I'll spare the details here just in case, but suffice it to say I was in a grouchy mood and had to actively avoid running into someone from my former school years that I really did not want to talk to who happened to be in the store at the same time. And I mean actively, because every time I turned to a new aisle, there they were. As soon as I had the water, I was out of there.
Summer break just isn't quite as satisfying when you aren't allowed to fall off the face of the Earth when you want to.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Vet Humor
About two and a half years ago, my dog Spencer had a ruptured anal gland. This is probably about as bad as you think. Dogs have these glands right around their rear ends that secrete liquid that was once used somehow for marking territory. This is why dogs sniff butts and crotches when they meet. It's sort of like exchanging business cards.
Modern dogs have no use for these glands anymore, but they still have them. About 10% of dogs will develop a problem back there, where the liquid develops into something to thick and viscous to naturally pass like it should. If it builds up long enough, the gland will rupture and the dog is left with a pretty messy hinder and a sore that needs to be cleaned and medicated twice daily for fourteen days. Yes, I speak from experience. Spencer falls into this 10%.
He's doing much better these days -- he can go three months at a time without starting to scoot around the house, which is the sign that the pressure is bothering him and it's time to call the vet for another butt squeeze. The procedure is actually called expressing the anal glands, but let's call it what it is -- a butt squeeze. And a foul-smelling one at that. Since it's been about three months since the last visit and since Spencer was due for some shots this summer anyway, we went in to take care of business today.
Spencer's vet is a guy who very obviously has the well-being of his patients in mind. He loves the animals. He's kind and gentle, and I've even seen him walking through the office with red eyes and tears after having to put someone's pet to sleep. I'm happy that through one incidental visit many years back, he became the guy we regularly see. He's been the guy who has given Spencer the majority of his butt squeezes over the past two years.
We went in the early afternoon, and I swear we were the only person/pet combo in the place. But it still took a little longer to get the squeeze portion of the visit done today. See, my boy is no dummy. When his doctor and the vet tech brought him back out after he'd been cleaned out and cleaned up, the doctor seemed a little amused.
"I've done this procedure to him too many times," he said with a subtle grin. "He won't let me get behind him anymore. As soon as I try to reach around him, he watches me and counters my moves like he's in a boxing ring. He won't let me back there. If I didn't have some help," he nodded toward the vet tech, "we might not have gotten the job done."
My boy is no dummy. And apparently not a fan of the butt squeezing.
Modern dogs have no use for these glands anymore, but they still have them. About 10% of dogs will develop a problem back there, where the liquid develops into something to thick and viscous to naturally pass like it should. If it builds up long enough, the gland will rupture and the dog is left with a pretty messy hinder and a sore that needs to be cleaned and medicated twice daily for fourteen days. Yes, I speak from experience. Spencer falls into this 10%.
He's doing much better these days -- he can go three months at a time without starting to scoot around the house, which is the sign that the pressure is bothering him and it's time to call the vet for another butt squeeze. The procedure is actually called expressing the anal glands, but let's call it what it is -- a butt squeeze. And a foul-smelling one at that. Since it's been about three months since the last visit and since Spencer was due for some shots this summer anyway, we went in to take care of business today.
Spencer's vet is a guy who very obviously has the well-being of his patients in mind. He loves the animals. He's kind and gentle, and I've even seen him walking through the office with red eyes and tears after having to put someone's pet to sleep. I'm happy that through one incidental visit many years back, he became the guy we regularly see. He's been the guy who has given Spencer the majority of his butt squeezes over the past two years.
We went in the early afternoon, and I swear we were the only person/pet combo in the place. But it still took a little longer to get the squeeze portion of the visit done today. See, my boy is no dummy. When his doctor and the vet tech brought him back out after he'd been cleaned out and cleaned up, the doctor seemed a little amused.
"I've done this procedure to him too many times," he said with a subtle grin. "He won't let me get behind him anymore. As soon as I try to reach around him, he watches me and counters my moves like he's in a boxing ring. He won't let me back there. If I didn't have some help," he nodded toward the vet tech, "we might not have gotten the job done."
My boy is no dummy. And apparently not a fan of the butt squeezing.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Deepest Pit of Television Hell
Big Brother 11 started tonight.
I've been watching this show for about four years now. I'm not much of a reality TV junkie, but this one always ropes me in because there is so little about it that could be described as redeeming. I can't say I watch it to root for certain people because everyone on that show embarrasses themselves sooner or later. I mostly watch it to see the people that I develop television hatred for go down in flames. This is like that "I'm a Celebrity..." crap times 40, without the baggage of people trying to out-celebrity each other. I cannot imagine why people would expose themselves to an experience like this, and I think most of them really wind up getting what they deserve in the end.
I fully acknowledge that when I die there will likely be a moment when I'm facing God and he says something like, "Dude. Big Brother? Really?" There are other creations of His that are far more worthwhile. But at least I'll be able to claim that I wasn't one of the people who subscribed to Showtime to watch Big Brother After Dark each night to see the hours of nose-picking, f-bomb-dropping, and lights-out lovin' going on courtesy of pay cable. Kind of a weak argument, but that's all I have. I love the vicarious thrill of watching people I would never be able to stand in real life slowly break each other apart.
Album of the Day....hmm. I think I'd have to go with Buckcherry's "Black Butterfly," which I bought on iTunes not long ago. Although I didn't pay much attention to it while I was on (in fact, I may have napped through some of it) it's a pretty good rock record. Today though was all about Iron Maiden. Since I have now decided firmly on which writing project I'm devoting my summer to (the haunted lake story), I've been searching for the proper soundtrack music to have on as I write. And for this story, Maiden right now is the way to go. It's not just the metal -- in fact, there are a lot of Maiden songs that would not make the cut. They have to be creepy, ominous, scary, evil, and any other related dark adjectives that would make the cut.
Whenever I write, I have to have music on. Some writers need the silence, but for me it doesn't work. Any manuscript that I've finished has had a voice that was partially defined by the music I had on while writing it. The day will come when some of you read this manuscript -- a lot of you, I hope -- and when that day comes, you'll have to imagine a whole bunch of Iron Maiden playing in the background.
Nephew #3's birthday tomorrow. I'll drop off his present at has school-bud party in the afternoon, and then I'll get him another one for the family party on Sunday. Turns out I'm a pretty awesome uncle. (Hmm.....sounded a little like John Corey there, and not even intentionally.)
Kind of scattered thoughts tonight, but now I need to go online and learn more about the Big Brother cast this year so I can read their bios and decide who I hate the most....
I've been watching this show for about four years now. I'm not much of a reality TV junkie, but this one always ropes me in because there is so little about it that could be described as redeeming. I can't say I watch it to root for certain people because everyone on that show embarrasses themselves sooner or later. I mostly watch it to see the people that I develop television hatred for go down in flames. This is like that "I'm a Celebrity..." crap times 40, without the baggage of people trying to out-celebrity each other. I cannot imagine why people would expose themselves to an experience like this, and I think most of them really wind up getting what they deserve in the end.
I fully acknowledge that when I die there will likely be a moment when I'm facing God and he says something like, "Dude. Big Brother? Really?" There are other creations of His that are far more worthwhile. But at least I'll be able to claim that I wasn't one of the people who subscribed to Showtime to watch Big Brother After Dark each night to see the hours of nose-picking, f-bomb-dropping, and lights-out lovin' going on courtesy of pay cable. Kind of a weak argument, but that's all I have. I love the vicarious thrill of watching people I would never be able to stand in real life slowly break each other apart.
Album of the Day....hmm. I think I'd have to go with Buckcherry's "Black Butterfly," which I bought on iTunes not long ago. Although I didn't pay much attention to it while I was on (in fact, I may have napped through some of it) it's a pretty good rock record. Today though was all about Iron Maiden. Since I have now decided firmly on which writing project I'm devoting my summer to (the haunted lake story), I've been searching for the proper soundtrack music to have on as I write. And for this story, Maiden right now is the way to go. It's not just the metal -- in fact, there are a lot of Maiden songs that would not make the cut. They have to be creepy, ominous, scary, evil, and any other related dark adjectives that would make the cut.
Whenever I write, I have to have music on. Some writers need the silence, but for me it doesn't work. Any manuscript that I've finished has had a voice that was partially defined by the music I had on while writing it. The day will come when some of you read this manuscript -- a lot of you, I hope -- and when that day comes, you'll have to imagine a whole bunch of Iron Maiden playing in the background.
Nephew #3's birthday tomorrow. I'll drop off his present at has school-bud party in the afternoon, and then I'll get him another one for the family party on Sunday. Turns out I'm a pretty awesome uncle. (Hmm.....sounded a little like John Corey there, and not even intentionally.)
Kind of scattered thoughts tonight, but now I need to go online and learn more about the Big Brother cast this year so I can read their bios and decide who I hate the most....
Monday, July 6, 2009
To Live/And Not To Breathe/Is To Die/In Tragedy
There's always a post-holiday letdown following the 4th since it's such a big family holiday for us, kind of an mild aimless depression that comes with having to fall back into a routine. Today was really the first day of the summer I felt kind of bored. But it was a pretty busy weekend, so that's to be expected.
Album of the Day - "American Idiot" by Green Day. This was the album that made the band superstars when they were hard on the road to being a washed-out 90s has-been. It really is a strong album too, which I probably don't have to tell too many people because it sold millions of copies and it's probably the best-known Album of the Day I've written about. Yeah, it's got a couple of 9-minute songs on it, which most people would consider pretty epic in length, and it had quite a few hits on it. But this became a landmark album for me due to personal reasons.
American Idiot was released about two months before my sister died. In the time between when I bought the CD and when she died, and likely for months afterward, this was the CD that was in my car. And even though "Wake Me Up When September Ends" is about memorializing someone's death, that wasn't the draw. The album is a loose concept album that follows characters through the frustrations of living through George Bush's America in 2004; it came out just months before he was elected to his second term. Green Day, I think it's safe to say, are not and never were fans of President Bush; the album is fierce and angry without apology.
I remember the election was something we were aware of at the time, but it was way, way in the background as my sister's condition grew progressively worse in those weeks. I didn't relate to the political anger of "American Idiot" as much as I did just the pure anger of it. Listening to this album over and over and over and over and over in my car gave me a powerful outlet for the anger and frustration I was feeling about what my family was going through.
If I listen to it now, as I am while writing this, I can still hear echoes of my own anger and isolation coming out of these songs. But luckily they're just echoes and I can still appreciate it for being a pretty great album.
Didn't start the triathalon today. The blister I had as my souvenir from the amusement park was enough to keep me from even trying to do anything athletic. But tomorrow will be a different story. I am determined to finish this thing off, even with a one day late start.
Album of the Day - "American Idiot" by Green Day. This was the album that made the band superstars when they were hard on the road to being a washed-out 90s has-been. It really is a strong album too, which I probably don't have to tell too many people because it sold millions of copies and it's probably the best-known Album of the Day I've written about. Yeah, it's got a couple of 9-minute songs on it, which most people would consider pretty epic in length, and it had quite a few hits on it. But this became a landmark album for me due to personal reasons.
American Idiot was released about two months before my sister died. In the time between when I bought the CD and when she died, and likely for months afterward, this was the CD that was in my car. And even though "Wake Me Up When September Ends" is about memorializing someone's death, that wasn't the draw. The album is a loose concept album that follows characters through the frustrations of living through George Bush's America in 2004; it came out just months before he was elected to his second term. Green Day, I think it's safe to say, are not and never were fans of President Bush; the album is fierce and angry without apology.
I remember the election was something we were aware of at the time, but it was way, way in the background as my sister's condition grew progressively worse in those weeks. I didn't relate to the political anger of "American Idiot" as much as I did just the pure anger of it. Listening to this album over and over and over and over and over in my car gave me a powerful outlet for the anger and frustration I was feeling about what my family was going through.
If I listen to it now, as I am while writing this, I can still hear echoes of my own anger and isolation coming out of these songs. But luckily they're just echoes and I can still appreciate it for being a pretty great album.
Didn't start the triathalon today. The blister I had as my souvenir from the amusement park was enough to keep me from even trying to do anything athletic. But tomorrow will be a different story. I am determined to finish this thing off, even with a one day late start.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Independence Day Ruminations
The 4th of July weekend has always been an unofficial summertime halfway mark for me. Big party at my parents’ in ER, lots of family in for the weekend. Usually hot, food, drink, good times. Not as usual this year since ER very controversially shut down their fireworks this year. But we had our party all the same, since my godsister usually throws her own summer bash each year, and this year stepped up to take over the 4th. It was a great time, even if we had an actively pinging weather radar for a good part of the afternoon. Nephew #1 drove the 30 or so mile trip to the party taking mostly freeway driving, and had to learn behind the wheel what it’s like to drive on the freeway through a whiteout downpour. I’ll give the kid points for doing something well at 15 that I sure wouldn’t have wanted to do myself at 41.
We stretched the weekend out a little more to include the 5th with a trip to Valleyfair. Pretty good day. I’ve never been one to shy away from rides, but after x number of trips to Valleyfair with the school patrol, the shine of the place has worn off for me in a definitive way. But being there with people you enjoy being with helps a lot, and here’s a tip that maybe I shouldn’t share -- it seems that EVERYONE in the Cities is up North on the weekend of the 4th, which means that on the day after? All the lines at Valleyfair are amazingly quick. Some of the empty queues that we just breezed through were vaguely reminiscent of an establishing scene from some kind of B-grade post-apocalyptic movie.
The older set, which now consists of my generation in the family, didn’t ride quite as much but still hit a few of the more famous coasters and a few other rides. We heard a lot of obscure 80s one-hit wonders played on the park soundtrack, discovered that the cherry-flavored Jolly Rancher frozen drinks taste remarkably like cherry Jolly Ranchers, spent time swimming and/or lounging at the water park, and of course I spanked down Nephew #1 pretty hard on the air hockey table. Considering some of us had been there together more than thirty years ago when our families took us as children and we are still together and doing things like this as adults all these years later, I think that makes a pretty strong statement about our family.
I had a nice surprise while enjoying my aforementioned Jolly Rancher cherry-flavored frozen drink. As we (me and one of the cousin wives, another teacher) were walking back to meet up with some people we were waiting for, who do we happen upon but SuperKyle himself, escorted around the park under a huge shade umbrella by his mother and some other family members. They were also there on a big outing. He told me about several of the rides he had gone and and still planned to -- he was taking on quite a bit more adventure than I was that day. It was great seeing him out and about like that. Very affirming that he’s still hanging in there.
Album of the Day today is “Hints Allegations & Things Left Unsaid” by Collective Soul. Just because they’re a cool band and I felt like playing it. This was probably triggered by having a CS song not found on this album come on the radio in my cousin’s van on the way to the park today.
Tomorrow is Monday, and the Lazyman Triathalon begins. I have until August 9th to row 12.5 miles, bike 112 miles, and walk/run 26.2 miles during my workouts at the Y. How perfect that this will begin the day after walking around Valleyfair, as my knees are showing their age and I’m sporting a blister under my right big toe the approximate size of a Canadian dime. Wish me luck.
We stretched the weekend out a little more to include the 5th with a trip to Valleyfair. Pretty good day. I’ve never been one to shy away from rides, but after x number of trips to Valleyfair with the school patrol, the shine of the place has worn off for me in a definitive way. But being there with people you enjoy being with helps a lot, and here’s a tip that maybe I shouldn’t share -- it seems that EVERYONE in the Cities is up North on the weekend of the 4th, which means that on the day after? All the lines at Valleyfair are amazingly quick. Some of the empty queues that we just breezed through were vaguely reminiscent of an establishing scene from some kind of B-grade post-apocalyptic movie.
The older set, which now consists of my generation in the family, didn’t ride quite as much but still hit a few of the more famous coasters and a few other rides. We heard a lot of obscure 80s one-hit wonders played on the park soundtrack, discovered that the cherry-flavored Jolly Rancher frozen drinks taste remarkably like cherry Jolly Ranchers, spent time swimming and/or lounging at the water park, and of course I spanked down Nephew #1 pretty hard on the air hockey table. Considering some of us had been there together more than thirty years ago when our families took us as children and we are still together and doing things like this as adults all these years later, I think that makes a pretty strong statement about our family.
I had a nice surprise while enjoying my aforementioned Jolly Rancher cherry-flavored frozen drink. As we (me and one of the cousin wives, another teacher) were walking back to meet up with some people we were waiting for, who do we happen upon but SuperKyle himself, escorted around the park under a huge shade umbrella by his mother and some other family members. They were also there on a big outing. He told me about several of the rides he had gone and and still planned to -- he was taking on quite a bit more adventure than I was that day. It was great seeing him out and about like that. Very affirming that he’s still hanging in there.
Album of the Day today is “Hints Allegations & Things Left Unsaid” by Collective Soul. Just because they’re a cool band and I felt like playing it. This was probably triggered by having a CS song not found on this album come on the radio in my cousin’s van on the way to the park today.
Tomorrow is Monday, and the Lazyman Triathalon begins. I have until August 9th to row 12.5 miles, bike 112 miles, and walk/run 26.2 miles during my workouts at the Y. How perfect that this will begin the day after walking around Valleyfair, as my knees are showing their age and I’m sporting a blister under my right big toe the approximate size of a Canadian dime. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
June Becomes July
I find myself introspectively wandering over my thoughts this evening.... yeah, I know: pretentious and sickening, but if this whole blog started out as a writing exercise to get me actually writing again, sometimes you gotta let the self-indulgent nonsense rear it's head.
What that all is supposed to mean is just that I have a lot of things on my mind these days.
(1) My Adopted Little Sister is staying put. Sort of. I still have to give her up in some ways, but in more important ways I won't have to. And I say more important because these ways have more to do with her than with me. In case I'm not being cryptic enough. But things are as good as they could be for the time being, so we're all happy for the resolution she wound up with.
(2) I saw online today that the mighty Dream Theater's new album, "Black Clouds and Silver Linings" -- you may have read a mention or two on here -- became something of a career landmark for the band. The album debuted on the Billboard Top 200 albums chart at #6, marking the first time the band has ever had an album in the top 10. I could not be happier about it. Nice going, America. Good to see you're starting to catch up to me.
(3) I've seen my nephews quite a bit in the past week, with even more time promised with the upcoming holiday weekend. This is a good thing. Nephew #1 and his pal from down the street are fun to spend time or have dinner with -- friend from down the street seems to be a frequent dinner guest at my sister's, which makes me happy to see. Nephew #2 loves his pool so much he spent an hour swimming in it by himself while I sat nearby reading a book, and has his own good pal from a couple neighborhoods over, who lives within biking distance. He also had quite a ball game not long ago, making a good out, pitching a decent inning, and almost knocking one hard into the outfield... if only that kid on the black team hadn't been lucky and caught him out. Nephew #3 really seems to be outgrowing his grouchy years, mostly, and has his own NBF (Neighborhood Best Friend) from right across the street. With my sister engaged and happy, and all of the boys doing well, it just gives me some peace. At times I honestly feel like their collective happiness is more important to me than my own would be.
(4) I feel kind of cut off from SuperKyle, but I know from experience on the other side not to try and wedge myself in to what's going on any more than what I'm asked. It's about him and his family now. Not me.
(5) I'm enjoying the relaxation and peace and openness of the summer so far much more than I usually do, and it's making me lackadaisical about my days, which is a nice change. I haven't done much real writing since it's so easy to just let the summertime soak in, but I think I have finally found the project that I feel strongly enough about to work out. Today being July 1, I'm going to try hard to have some real progress behind it before August.
(6) I signed up for this year's Lazy Man Triathalon at the Y yesterday. It's a real triathalon in terms of activity and distance, the difference being that you get five weeks to complete everything. And I plan to!
(7) That summertime to-do list that always creates itself? It's starting to nudge at my peace...
Album of the Day, and this is kind of out of nowhere but also completely appropriate: the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Out of nowhere because it's orchestrated music compared to my usual rocking out. Appropriate because it just really fit the calm I'm living inside of today.
What that all is supposed to mean is just that I have a lot of things on my mind these days.
(1) My Adopted Little Sister is staying put. Sort of. I still have to give her up in some ways, but in more important ways I won't have to. And I say more important because these ways have more to do with her than with me. In case I'm not being cryptic enough. But things are as good as they could be for the time being, so we're all happy for the resolution she wound up with.
(2) I saw online today that the mighty Dream Theater's new album, "Black Clouds and Silver Linings" -- you may have read a mention or two on here -- became something of a career landmark for the band. The album debuted on the Billboard Top 200 albums chart at #6, marking the first time the band has ever had an album in the top 10. I could not be happier about it. Nice going, America. Good to see you're starting to catch up to me.
(3) I've seen my nephews quite a bit in the past week, with even more time promised with the upcoming holiday weekend. This is a good thing. Nephew #1 and his pal from down the street are fun to spend time or have dinner with -- friend from down the street seems to be a frequent dinner guest at my sister's, which makes me happy to see. Nephew #2 loves his pool so much he spent an hour swimming in it by himself while I sat nearby reading a book, and has his own good pal from a couple neighborhoods over, who lives within biking distance. He also had quite a ball game not long ago, making a good out, pitching a decent inning, and almost knocking one hard into the outfield... if only that kid on the black team hadn't been lucky and caught him out. Nephew #3 really seems to be outgrowing his grouchy years, mostly, and has his own NBF (Neighborhood Best Friend) from right across the street. With my sister engaged and happy, and all of the boys doing well, it just gives me some peace. At times I honestly feel like their collective happiness is more important to me than my own would be.
(4) I feel kind of cut off from SuperKyle, but I know from experience on the other side not to try and wedge myself in to what's going on any more than what I'm asked. It's about him and his family now. Not me.
(5) I'm enjoying the relaxation and peace and openness of the summer so far much more than I usually do, and it's making me lackadaisical about my days, which is a nice change. I haven't done much real writing since it's so easy to just let the summertime soak in, but I think I have finally found the project that I feel strongly enough about to work out. Today being July 1, I'm going to try hard to have some real progress behind it before August.
(6) I signed up for this year's Lazy Man Triathalon at the Y yesterday. It's a real triathalon in terms of activity and distance, the difference being that you get five weeks to complete everything. And I plan to!
(7) That summertime to-do list that always creates itself? It's starting to nudge at my peace...
Album of the Day, and this is kind of out of nowhere but also completely appropriate: the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Out of nowhere because it's orchestrated music compared to my usual rocking out. Appropriate because it just really fit the calm I'm living inside of today.
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