Little Kids vs. R-Rated Movies

When I was in junior high, my family was visiting some relatives in South Dakota. I don't remember what the occasion was -- I think it was a cousin's high school graduation. Several families were there for it, as has always been the tradition in my extraordinarily large and close extended family.

This trip was important because it was when I saw my first ever R-rated movie: "Conan the Barbarian." I saw it with a couple of my cousins who were old enough to get me in, even though we knew my parents weren't necessarily going to approve. Well, some of us knew -- the oldest of us who went is someone so guileless that it wouldn't surprise me if he'd thought I had permission to go. And this was back in the days before things like VCRs and HBO were widely available, so if you were going to see an R-rated movie, your only option was the theater.

I went into this feeling a combination of exhilaration and fear, and for someone who today makes such an issue about people talking during movies in the theater, I was too energized to possibly keep my mouth shut. The movie, for those of you who've never seen it (which is probably many) wasn't great, but you couldn't tell me this at that age.

But you know, I was in my mid-teens here. I'm not someone who would really describe myself as socially conservative, but as a teacher I have a real problem with parents who let their young kids (I'm going with eleven and younger here) watch R-rated movies. As somebody who knows a little bit about the psychology of the pre-teen mind, I can tell you that being exposed to the stuff that goes on in these movies can have a desensitizing effect on young kids. There are literally thousands of movies PG-13 and down that are great and more appropriate entertainment for kids that won't twist their sensibilities inside out.

I read an interview with Zach Galifinakis in Rolling Stone. He said when little kids tell him how great "The Hangover" was, he tells them they have awful parents and he means it. Sure, there are much bigger mistakes parents can make other than letting kids see R-rated movies, but I respect his point. If I have a kid in class start loudly blabbing away about an R movie they've seen just to show off to everyone else how cool and mature and sophisticated they are, I'll shut it down point blank: "It's an R movie. You're ten. It's ridiculous anyone allowed you to see that. Stop talking about it. I'm not impressed."

Where is all of this coming from today? Well, I just read an article online that reminded me that a remake of "Conan the Barbarian" is about to be released into theaters. We're kind of in the dog days of summer movies now here in late August, so there isn't much to pick from out there that I haven't already seen. So am I planning on going to see the new version of Conan?

Probably not. Because I don't want to run into any of my recent students at the theater.