I usually have some self-reflective moments at the beginning of a new month: How close is the day-to-day life I’m currently living to the life I wish I had? What I could do with this chunk of time marked off on the calendar, if I really tried? What things could I change, or what goals could I accomplish in the next thirty days?
This train of thought usually gets me fired up with ambition at first, but too often that slows down as I start seeing whatever goals I think up as ranging anywhere from being difficult to insurmountable. Then it becomes too easy to start beating myself up over why I don’t have these goals or habits as a part of my life in the first place, which leads me to thinking about how firmly developed a lot of my routines are: getting a Diet Coke at lunch just because I get a Diet Coke at lunch (I’m not even much of a Diet Coke fan); doing my grocery shopping on the same day each week and following the same route through the store to buy the same things; playing the same games on the iPad while not really watching shows I have saved on the DVR even though I lost interest in them long ago; going to bed when the 10 o’clock news comes on, not because I’m tired, but because the 10 o’clock news is on and that’s when it’s time to go to bed.
How many of these things take up time and thought and energy that could be better spent elsewhere? How many of my routines would be better described as bad habits? What things about life am I missing out on just because I’m so often making the easy choice to not choose? Routines can be dangerous if they end up leading into ruts, and ruts are the worst. Few things can suck the joy out of life faster than trudging through an existence where every day is exactly the same. You can find yourself thinking of how there’s nothing to look forward to or get excited about, and even the few things that come along to break up the monotony don’t seem to have the power to shake you loose from the daily everything all over again. Trust me, I’ve been there.
But sometimes moments arrive that can change your perspective. One positive routine I’m working to reclaim these days is getting back in the habit of early morning walks, now that the temperatures are getting warmer again as winter has finally retreated. It doesn’t always happen as often as I’d like, since there are still some mornings when I’ll roll over and flip on the TV to watch the morning news instead, just because that’s been my habit through the winter and it’s so much easier to do. In fact, that’s exactly what I did this morning. But when I got home from school I had an ambitious moment of resolve and decided I’d just get out and take an afternoon walk instead. There’s no law that says I have to do it in the morning. It was still comfortably cool out, so why not enjoy it while I could? I brought up some calm and relaxing walking music on the iPod (The Lumineers, for anyone interested), and started off. I didn’t get to enjoy the golden light of the sunrise, but the partly cloudy late afternoon sky still had a particular beauty to it I could appreciate, and would have missed out on seeing if I had walked that morning instead.
While on my last lap around the neighborhood, I saw some of my neighbors, an older couple who live next door to me, also out walking and coming the other direction. It was great to see them out since it wasn’t two months ago when the wife had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance one night. We stopped and chatted briefly, making small talk about the nice weather and how summer was on the way.
“Yeah, twenty-six more days,” I said, then quickly added, “at least for me. That’s how many I have left before my summer break.”
“You teach?” the wife asked.
“Yep, at an elementary school just a few miles away,” I answered, pointing in my best approximated direction of which way school would have been from there. She then took my hand in both of hers and gave me the most heartfelt thank you of appreciation I’ve had in quite some time. We talked about school a little, and their grandchildren. After we went our separate ways I walked on thinking of how that encounter never would have happened at 6:00 AM. And I just felt good about things, with the barely perceptible breeze on my face and the bright sun coming through the clouds. Once again I started reflecting back to how it was the first day of a new month.
As I finished my final lap I thought to myself, “Quit being such a baby. Nobody’s life is perfect, and if you’re going to be honest with yourself, your life really leaves you with very little to complain about. If there are things you aren't satisfied with, do something about them. Find the routine to change, and bring in some small reinventions. Step out of your rut, however manufactured or perceived it might be. Just find the direction you want, and go the way you go.”
Tonight that doesn't seem so difficult to do.
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