Today is my sister Erin's birthday. Her birthday appears a week ahead of mine on the calendar, but in actuality I was born two years and fifty-one weeks ahead of her. I've been thinking about her birthday recently, and during these reflections one particular visual kept coming back. It was an old photograph taken at one of her birthday parties from elementary school. List most kids that age will, she invited all of her very best friends to share in whatever kind of little girl birthday shenanigans would be taking place. In this picture she's posing by her cake with all of her party guests, four or five of whom were girls from her class at school. Each of her classmates is desperately trying to distinguish herself as the biggest ham in the group.
But there was one other little friend there, sitting just far enough away from the rest of the group to be noticed as separate. She was a longtime friend of Erin's, going back to their toddler days, so of course she was also invited to the party. The problem was she went to a completely different school than everyone else, so the only person at the party she knew was Erin, who was already the center of attention for the day and still too young to know enough to graciously help this little outsider feel less awkward. And it was comically obvious how awkward she felt: While all the other little girls had giant birthday party smiles smeared across their faces, this girl was trying to make herself appear as small as possible, with no trace of any kind of smile and eyes that were begging anyone on the other side of the camera to come and rescue her.
The reason I find this so funny now? Out of all the girls in that picture, that one little outsider might have been the only person at that party Erin stayed in touch with. On top of that, that girl grew to be so dominantly extroverted as an adult it's next to impossible for me to think she had ever been uncomfortable at any kind of party before. And if Childhood Erin would have had the same sensitivity as Adult Erin grew to possess, she would have gone out of her way to bring in that one lonely friend and make her feel more included.
So happy birthday, Erin. I'm sure whoever is with you at your party today is having a great time.
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