Dear Nephew #1, and #4, and... step-niece?... that sounds right... and any number of cousins about to experience or already experiencing their earliest days and years of college (but mostly Nephew #1):
If I was given the chance to revisit any period in my life, I’d go back to any random month I spent in college. The learning, the newfound independence, the emerging self-definition, the failures and successes, the constantly evolving relationships both long-term and temporary... it’s an exhilarating time. I’m a tiny bit jealous that you’re about to become immersed in all of that.
There’s a cliché about how “if I knew back then what I know now...” meaning there are things people would have done differently with the benefits of age and experience informing their decisions. Of course nobody gets to do this, but today I get to do the next best thing: I get to set out some advice to an eighteen-year-old kid who is frighteningly similar to me. You know this is true; we’ve both seen examples of it and have had it pointed out many times. And I don’t mind that, because if your best characteristics are things people see in me as well, hey, I’ll take it. But I’ve also noticed how sometimes you can reflect a few of my weaknesses, and I’d hate to see those things get in the way of your happiness. I won’t go into the list of what those things are because if you didn’t agree with me you’d find a way to deconstruct my point and turn it around in a reasonably logical way that would be hard to refute (and yeah, that tendency would be high on the list for sure), so instead I’m just going to plow ahead with what could appear to the bystander as little more than general advice about leaving home and going to college. But there will be a few things here that carry added depth. So here we go:
*I know you're psyched to leave high school behind. This is as it should be, and frankly I feel sorry for anyone who looks back at high school as the best part of their life. BUT. It's important to remember that everyone and everything you leave behind, all the positives and negatives of your school and your beloved community, had some part in forming the person you are now and are still becoming.
*The blank slate is a beautiful thing. You'll settle in, meet some new people and spend the first few weeks being whoever you want to be and nobody will care. No history, no baggage, no labels; everything completely neutral and waiting for definition. You'll live in glorious, intoxicating anonymity for awhile, and even after you establish your new circles of friends and acquaintances that's how things will be most of the time. Enjoy it.
*These coming years will be the very last time in your whole life you are almost exclusively surrounded by people your age. Take advantage of that. Soak up college life, whatever that winds up meaning for you. I’m not saying to forcibly embed yourself into every aspect of the campus community, but dip your toes into something new once in awhile. Some of my best memories from that time came from the chances I took, and my biggest regrets had to do with opportunities I let pass by. Do not let hesitation dictate your path. It’s not a path you want to follow.
*The educator in me has to get this out: In high school it was the job of your teachers to teach you. In college it will be your job to learn. If you don’t find a way to do the learning, you can’t blame anyone else for it, and it’s not always going to be a ride around the lake. Professors won’t care about which clubs people were or were not in, who took advanced placement and who had IEPs for extra help, who earned a letter jacket and who didn’t. To some of them you’ll be nothing more than a face in the crowd, a name on an assignment, or a number on a list. Some will recognize and appreciate what you have to offer, but be ready for that to be the exception. It’s just the way the machine works, especially in the first couple of years. (Especially in a BIG school, Hank.)
*When you throw yourself into doing your best and things still don't quite work out, let that be okay. I got a B instead of an A on an English paper once because I argued with the professor about an analogy I refused to change (I was right by the way; it’s not wrong to compare large groups of junior high kids to insects). Try to handle those situations with a little more poise and diplomacy and maturity than I did. You'll make mistakes or things will take a wrong turn of their own accord, or even a combination of the two might happen. Just pick up the pieces and move on, and don't make it bigger than it needs to be. And in the end, remember your GPA will only wind up being one line on the resumé. Yeah, it's important, but it's not everything.
*When you move off-campus, think really hard about the neighborhood you’re choosing. For instance: If you ever get an apartment only blocks away from a meat-packing plant, don’t look out the window when you hear a truck pulling out. Some of those trucks have open tops and you don’t want to see the cargo they’re hauling away. This may seem oddly specific, but I promise it’s worth remembering.
*There will be a temptation to think you’re an adult and believe that you know everything. After all, you’ll live away from home, you get to vote this year and you’re making a lot of independent decisions. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this automatically levels you up to the rank of Responsible Adult. If you feel like you know everything, that’s okay. It’s normal for your age group to think that. And you do know a lot more than most people. But in about ten years when you’re closing in on thirty? You’ll slowly start to realize that you do not, in fact, know half as much about anything as you’ve always thought you did.
*Remember the lessons Davy taught you this summer, but remember that college is not meant to be a four-year Turtle Lake weekend. Part of college is getting as much stupid out of your system as you can before life really starts to count. Remember there is always a line to be drawn for stupid in any situation. If it’s the kind of stupid that leaves you with nothing but some temporary embarrassment after the weekend, that’s not the end of the world. But avoid the kinds of stupid that can abruptly point your life in a direction you don’t want it to follow.
*Get a girlfriend and date her for at least a few months, and when things fall apart make sure she really tears you to ragged shreds. That way you’ll eventually see getting dumped isn’t the end of the world.
*You’re going to be surrounded by a lot of people who have awful taste in music, and yet they’ll feel as passionate about their music as you do about yours. Resist the urge to point out how misguided they are. You’ll only come off like a fifth grade boy dramatically covering his ears and complaining about how much Justin Bieber sucks.
*There is a lot of pizza in your immediate future. Get some exercise. Seriously.
*You might be tempted to blow off your generals. Some might be easier than what you’ve already done in high school, but don’t give in. No matter how easy they are, the grades you get in that first year carry a lot of weight when it comes to establishing a baseline GPA. And you don’t want to find yourself hundredths of a point away from graduating one level of honor higher than you will, and knowing that it would have made all the difference if you’d just gotten a B instead of a C in that one freshman class where you spent half your time playing with the light reflecting from your watch onto the ceiling. That kind of thing can stick with you.
*A lot of the things you’ll wind up hating because they frustrate you so much, whether they are classes or experiences or people, will someday become the things you can dismiss with an eye roll and a laugh. The worst class I had is now one of my more amusing college anecdotes. These trials won’t be fun while they’re happening, but eventually they’ll be reduced to footnotes. Hold that truth in the back of your mind.
*Stay in touch with people. I know, texting and Facebook have changed the world a little since the late 1980s, but one of my best memories from college would be the days I’d walk into the dorm lobby after class, check the mailbox, and find a letter from one of my cousins waiting for me. Mail is always a good thing, even if it’s electronic. Subscribe to a magazine or two, just so you can enjoy that break in the routine when it shows up.
*Text your mother sometimes, just because. (I’d say “call,” but that’s kind of outdated, and we both know getting your mother on the phone is no easy task.)
*If you have a professor tell you there are multiple forms of a test and you’re using a bubble sheet to mark your answers, pay very close attention to which form you have and where you should hand in your answer sheet. That way you can avoid studying really hard the night before and scoring an 11 out of 50 because you put your answers in the wrong *&%@! pile. Which is really a hard pill to swallow when there are only three tests in the term and your grade is based on their average.
*Never walk barefoot in a dorm bathroom. Never, ever. There’s more awful going on in those than even the CDC could categorize.
*Take advantage of this time to discover who you are and to prepare for the life you want to have. Learn to recognize the small events as well as the big ones. Pause and occasionally allow yourself half a thought to appreciate what’s happening to you in the moment, because, believe it or not, these next few years are going to absolutely fly by.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Olympics Observations, Part II - In Closing
So. That was quite a closing ceremony, in some respects. Lot of music to comment on. I took notes:
*The ceremony opens with Wormtail chomping on a cigar?
*After all of the success that Great Britain had in the games, I'm sure a lot of national pride went into their singing of "God Save the Queen" in the beginning. So it seemed like a totally classy move for NBC to cut right from that... to a monkey riding on a toy ambulance.
*Madness? Whoa. Where did they dig these guys up? "Our House" was one of those 80s songs that I could either appreciate a little or really hate depending on my mood when it came on MTV. Pretty obvious the singer isn't so used to the singing anymore.
*And then the Pet Shop Boys? I'll admit - they were a guilty pleasure in college. Catchy melodies, and anything with a strong beat to it appeals to my inner drummer. But if you saw the costumes they wore you'd understand why they were a guilty pleasure.
*I like seeing the athletes all come out together. I hope everyone in that group, whether they medalled to their personal satisfaction or not, is walking in there appreciating the experience they've had and is taking in the moment. I hope that even if they've devoted themselves to their particular sport, they have enough balance in their lives to embody what the Olympic spirit is supposed to be. Would you see this kind of joy and enthusiasm from the whole of the NFL, or the NBA, or the NHL or MLB walking out en masse? I think not. A pretty telling statement made by these athletes.
*NBC - I get it: You want me to watch "Revolution." I will not. But I give you credit for using one of my favorite songs from the new Linkin Park album in your promo.
*I swear Great Britain is making a case to have John Lennon's head added to Mount Rushmore.
*It's a good thing they put George Michael's name on the screen when he came on stage, just to make sure people didn't think Bono had wandered into town from 2004.
*It makes sense that David Bowie is the soundtrack to the segment about British fashion, but coming from someone who dresses in as many neutral shades as possible because I cannot be trusted to dress myself without constant threat of embarrassment, this couldn't interest me any less than it does.
*Annie Lennox. I've held a grudge against her for nearly twenty-one years. Get her off my TV. Plus I'm pretty sure she's lip-synching.
*Say what you will about Ryan Seacrest, but I'll give the guy credit for knowing enough to stay quiet and not just yammering on like a Costas to fill the perceived informational gaps of the show.
*I don't know who this guy is singing "Wish You Were Here," but he's doing the song justice.
*Russell Brand? Seriously? I suppose there are few people better equipped to represent psychedelia.
*I know I'm out of step with a lot of popular music. But at what point did our culture decide to start considering DJs to be creative musical artists? This bothers me.
*Jessie J. I remember her from SNL last spring. Decent voice, and I'm liking the costume. But I don't know why we need ten minutes of her.
*The Spice Girls. You know what, these ladies should be thanking every couple that's ever gotten married because I think the only time anyone ever hears their songs anymore is at wedding dances. Am I really the only person who remembers they were nothing more than the female variant of the millenial pre-packaged boy band?
*There are a lot of Union Jacks on display here, in the background, the costumes, all over the place. This begs the question: Where is Def Leppard??! Let's remember back to 1983, for those of you who were around back then. Nobody did as much for Union Jack fashion as Def Leppard did. They were owed a spot on the bill tonight.
*Oh my.... and the show is absolutely stolen by the Ghost of Freddie Mercury. Dead nearly twenty years and he still has the crowd of 80,000 people in the palm of his hand. I literally got chills. And then here comes Brian May playing.... seriously??!? They're having him play the Brighton Rock guitar solo?!? That solo was one of my favorite songs in high school! Not the whole song, but just the live version of the solo, the extended jam he played, harmonizing with his echo-delayed self for about eight minutes on Disc 2 of Queen's "Live Killers" album -- one of the few cassettes I ever played to the point of wearing it out. There really could not be a better Official Guitar Solo for the London Olympics. And then to lead that in to "We Will Rock You?" Seriously. What other song are you going to play in a stadium. That song is the reason God created stadiums. This is all so perfect I'm almost willing to overlook that Jessie J is back onstage for the vocals, because if they were going to bring someone from earlier in the night back out for an encore to join them, there is only one real possible successor to Freddie Mercury, and he's even performed already! Missed opportunity times ten. (I'd also like to point out that Queen did NOT roll right into playing "We Are the Champions" after "We Will Rock You" even though doing so at the Olympics would have been appropriate enough. Because they are two separate songs.)
*And where exactly was Muse?
*The ceremony opens with Wormtail chomping on a cigar?
*After all of the success that Great Britain had in the games, I'm sure a lot of national pride went into their singing of "God Save the Queen" in the beginning. So it seemed like a totally classy move for NBC to cut right from that... to a monkey riding on a toy ambulance.
*Madness? Whoa. Where did they dig these guys up? "Our House" was one of those 80s songs that I could either appreciate a little or really hate depending on my mood when it came on MTV. Pretty obvious the singer isn't so used to the singing anymore.
*And then the Pet Shop Boys? I'll admit - they were a guilty pleasure in college. Catchy melodies, and anything with a strong beat to it appeals to my inner drummer. But if you saw the costumes they wore you'd understand why they were a guilty pleasure.
*I like seeing the athletes all come out together. I hope everyone in that group, whether they medalled to their personal satisfaction or not, is walking in there appreciating the experience they've had and is taking in the moment. I hope that even if they've devoted themselves to their particular sport, they have enough balance in their lives to embody what the Olympic spirit is supposed to be. Would you see this kind of joy and enthusiasm from the whole of the NFL, or the NBA, or the NHL or MLB walking out en masse? I think not. A pretty telling statement made by these athletes.
*NBC - I get it: You want me to watch "Revolution." I will not. But I give you credit for using one of my favorite songs from the new Linkin Park album in your promo.
*I swear Great Britain is making a case to have John Lennon's head added to Mount Rushmore.
*It's a good thing they put George Michael's name on the screen when he came on stage, just to make sure people didn't think Bono had wandered into town from 2004.
*It makes sense that David Bowie is the soundtrack to the segment about British fashion, but coming from someone who dresses in as many neutral shades as possible because I cannot be trusted to dress myself without constant threat of embarrassment, this couldn't interest me any less than it does.
*Annie Lennox. I've held a grudge against her for nearly twenty-one years. Get her off my TV. Plus I'm pretty sure she's lip-synching.
*Say what you will about Ryan Seacrest, but I'll give the guy credit for knowing enough to stay quiet and not just yammering on like a Costas to fill the perceived informational gaps of the show.
*I don't know who this guy is singing "Wish You Were Here," but he's doing the song justice.
*Russell Brand? Seriously? I suppose there are few people better equipped to represent psychedelia.
*I know I'm out of step with a lot of popular music. But at what point did our culture decide to start considering DJs to be creative musical artists? This bothers me.
*Jessie J. I remember her from SNL last spring. Decent voice, and I'm liking the costume. But I don't know why we need ten minutes of her.
*The Spice Girls. You know what, these ladies should be thanking every couple that's ever gotten married because I think the only time anyone ever hears their songs anymore is at wedding dances. Am I really the only person who remembers they were nothing more than the female variant of the millenial pre-packaged boy band?
*There are a lot of Union Jacks on display here, in the background, the costumes, all over the place. This begs the question: Where is Def Leppard??! Let's remember back to 1983, for those of you who were around back then. Nobody did as much for Union Jack fashion as Def Leppard did. They were owed a spot on the bill tonight.
*Oh my.... and the show is absolutely stolen by the Ghost of Freddie Mercury. Dead nearly twenty years and he still has the crowd of 80,000 people in the palm of his hand. I literally got chills. And then here comes Brian May playing.... seriously??!? They're having him play the Brighton Rock guitar solo?!? That solo was one of my favorite songs in high school! Not the whole song, but just the live version of the solo, the extended jam he played, harmonizing with his echo-delayed self for about eight minutes on Disc 2 of Queen's "Live Killers" album -- one of the few cassettes I ever played to the point of wearing it out. There really could not be a better Official Guitar Solo for the London Olympics. And then to lead that in to "We Will Rock You?" Seriously. What other song are you going to play in a stadium. That song is the reason God created stadiums. This is all so perfect I'm almost willing to overlook that Jessie J is back onstage for the vocals, because if they were going to bring someone from earlier in the night back out for an encore to join them, there is only one real possible successor to Freddie Mercury, and he's even performed already! Missed opportunity times ten. (I'd also like to point out that Queen did NOT roll right into playing "We Are the Champions" after "We Will Rock You" even though doing so at the Olympics would have been appropriate enough. Because they are two separate songs.)
*And where exactly was Muse?
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Olympics Observations, Part I
*I started watching women’s soccer a couple of days before the opening ceremonies were on. Soccer was my one team sport growing up so it’s the one that I feel like I can really follow now. It absolutely amazes me to see athletes at this level displaying the same cheap shots and poor sportsmanship that turned me off from competitive sports in the first place. These people are supposed to be the best in the world. Do they need to be pushing and punching? Shouldn’t the skill and teamwork be enough?
*The opening ceremonies had the appropriate amount of spectacle, and I’m pretty sure London must have bought their fireworks from the same bulk retailer that the producers of the tepid “Total Recall” remake bought the glass they planned on breaking. It was great to see dozens of people running around on the stadium floor wearing Freddie Mercury harlequin body suits, and I so desperately hoped my nephews were watching when Mr. Bean accompanied the orchestra on “Chariots of Fire.” When the health care system was rolled out as a major focus of national pride, it almost made me want to tune in to talk radio the next day to see which bloviating neocon windbag was going to spontaneously combust first. I’ll also give the producers a lot of credit for using UK artists. It fit much better than having Elton John play at the closing ceremonies in Atlanta or having U2 at the Super Bowl halftime show. And anyone who saw the Arctic Monkeys covering “Come Together?” Don’t run out and buy their catalog based on that performance. Those were not the same Arctic Monkeys I had to sonically endure when they toured with the Black Keys this spring. Although I’m sure they had better sound mixing at the opening ceremonies than they did as the opening act....
*I never would have thought to put the words “badminton” and “scandal” in the same sentence.
*I get it: Broadcast is commerce. But when these new NBC shows have shameless Olympic references wedged into their promos, which seem to run at least twice during each commercial break, and when I have to be reminded of how warm and fuzzy all the gang at KARE 11 is, it becomes off-putting after awhile. All NBC is doing is convincing me I’m not going watch that comedy with Matthew Perry, that other comedy with the baby that’s trying to copy “Modern Family,” the hospital show with the animals, or that other show where all the electricity in the world turns off. I’ve had to sit through so many ads for these I feel like I’ve already seen the first two seasons of each.
*I just have to put this out there -- Michael Phelps’ sister Hilary is gorgeous. I didn’t mind the camera cutting to his family every time he won.
*Do elite athletes really drink a lot of Coca-Cola or eat a lot of McDonald’s? I have a hard time believing this, even if McDonald’s is rolling out this new Under 400 calorie menu. Remember people - that’s under 400 calories PER ITEM. Who goes to McDonald’s and only orders one Filet-O-Fish?
*Speaking of ads: Isn’t that music teacher guy in the Target back-to-school ads the same guy who played the Air Marshall in “Bridesmaids?”
*I’m not a big fan of spoilers. And yet, there have been some people on Facebook who will post things like “Whoo! Go USA!” in reference to a big win that hasn’t been broadcast yet. To say nothing of headline stories on the CNN home page telling me the US won the gymnastics all-around and Michael Phelps won his 19th medal as a gold before I could watch these events... on the same night. And then there are so many people retweeting things I’d rather find out on my own. Olympic spoilers are unavoidable if you go online at all, or if you watch other networks who seem to take pleasure in announcing scores and medal counts before NBC has the chance to show them. Welcome to 21st century media.
*One of my favorite athletes from these games so far is Missy Franklin. Not only was she a dominant swimmer in her events, but she seemed like she simply loved being there and having the chance to compete. She was enthusiastic, poised, and for someone who isn’t even out of high school yet was able to answer many questions from many reporters that made it sound like she has a brain in her head -- and lets face it, that’s something not all of these athletes are capable of pulling off. It’s hard to believe that someone like her and people like the New Orleans Saints players who had accepted bounties for injuring other players even have athletics in common.
Let’s see what the second week brings....
*The opening ceremonies had the appropriate amount of spectacle, and I’m pretty sure London must have bought their fireworks from the same bulk retailer that the producers of the tepid “Total Recall” remake bought the glass they planned on breaking. It was great to see dozens of people running around on the stadium floor wearing Freddie Mercury harlequin body suits, and I so desperately hoped my nephews were watching when Mr. Bean accompanied the orchestra on “Chariots of Fire.” When the health care system was rolled out as a major focus of national pride, it almost made me want to tune in to talk radio the next day to see which bloviating neocon windbag was going to spontaneously combust first. I’ll also give the producers a lot of credit for using UK artists. It fit much better than having Elton John play at the closing ceremonies in Atlanta or having U2 at the Super Bowl halftime show. And anyone who saw the Arctic Monkeys covering “Come Together?” Don’t run out and buy their catalog based on that performance. Those were not the same Arctic Monkeys I had to sonically endure when they toured with the Black Keys this spring. Although I’m sure they had better sound mixing at the opening ceremonies than they did as the opening act....
*I never would have thought to put the words “badminton” and “scandal” in the same sentence.
*I get it: Broadcast is commerce. But when these new NBC shows have shameless Olympic references wedged into their promos, which seem to run at least twice during each commercial break, and when I have to be reminded of how warm and fuzzy all the gang at KARE 11 is, it becomes off-putting after awhile. All NBC is doing is convincing me I’m not going watch that comedy with Matthew Perry, that other comedy with the baby that’s trying to copy “Modern Family,” the hospital show with the animals, or that other show where all the electricity in the world turns off. I’ve had to sit through so many ads for these I feel like I’ve already seen the first two seasons of each.
*I just have to put this out there -- Michael Phelps’ sister Hilary is gorgeous. I didn’t mind the camera cutting to his family every time he won.
*Do elite athletes really drink a lot of Coca-Cola or eat a lot of McDonald’s? I have a hard time believing this, even if McDonald’s is rolling out this new Under 400 calorie menu. Remember people - that’s under 400 calories PER ITEM. Who goes to McDonald’s and only orders one Filet-O-Fish?
*Speaking of ads: Isn’t that music teacher guy in the Target back-to-school ads the same guy who played the Air Marshall in “Bridesmaids?”
*I’m not a big fan of spoilers. And yet, there have been some people on Facebook who will post things like “Whoo! Go USA!” in reference to a big win that hasn’t been broadcast yet. To say nothing of headline stories on the CNN home page telling me the US won the gymnastics all-around and Michael Phelps won his 19th medal as a gold before I could watch these events... on the same night. And then there are so many people retweeting things I’d rather find out on my own. Olympic spoilers are unavoidable if you go online at all, or if you watch other networks who seem to take pleasure in announcing scores and medal counts before NBC has the chance to show them. Welcome to 21st century media.
*One of my favorite athletes from these games so far is Missy Franklin. Not only was she a dominant swimmer in her events, but she seemed like she simply loved being there and having the chance to compete. She was enthusiastic, poised, and for someone who isn’t even out of high school yet was able to answer many questions from many reporters that made it sound like she has a brain in her head -- and lets face it, that’s something not all of these athletes are capable of pulling off. It’s hard to believe that someone like her and people like the New Orleans Saints players who had accepted bounties for injuring other players even have athletics in common.
Let’s see what the second week brings....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)