I went to a movie this afternoon and came home to a mostly darkened house.
"Um, heh heh heh, little help here?" Cinnamon said, dangling from the ceiling from a string of decorative lights I'd recently bought.
"Were you trying to decorate?" I asked, offering no assistance. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the sight a little.
"No, I was just...well, it's not important what I was doing," he started, evasively. "Then out of nowhere I was knocked over the head, just clobbered by something really hard and sharp. I woke up like this about an hour ago. I'm getting a little tired of hanging like this. I'm sure all the blood would have rushed to my head by now, if I had any."
"I thought you told me things had been smoothed over with the Guild," I said. I couldn't resist taunting him some. "Sounds to me like someone isn't very happy with you."
"They are, I swear," he said. "This wasn't them. If they had sent a message like this, they wouldn't have been mysterious about who was behind it. This was something different. Can I please get down now?"
"I don't know," I said, putting my teacher voice to use as I walked away. "Can you?"
DAY 10
"You have to see this!" that brain-piercing voice called out. "I finished my book!"
"Really. In just a matter of days, huh?" I asked. "That was...ambitious...of you."
He held it up as I entered the room. "What do you think?"
"I'm not sure that's going to work out the way you want," I said.
DAY 11
I'm dead tired after a long day at work. When I get home, I eventually sit down to check if there's anything other than ads about big sales in my e-mail. I find Cinnamon perched expectantly on my desk.
"Surprise!" he shouts. "I know how much you despise Mondays and how depressed you get this time of year, so I put together a nice candy dish for you as a welcome home treat! Go ahead and dig in!"
I can't tell if he's that stupid or he thinks I am. I let go of a deep sigh. "No thanks," I said. "I think I'll pass."
DAY 12
This sight? Not what you want to see right when you wake up. I don't even own this many Legos. I'm pretty sure this many legos wouldn't fit in my sad little toy chest. t carefully navigated the hallway and grabbed Cinnamon by his legs, yanking him from the pile where he'd been stuck, half buried.
"What's the big idea?" I demanded.
"It wasn't me!" he squawked after catching his breath. "I don't know what's going on!"
DAY 13
The TV was on when I got home tonight.
"I've been watching the news," Cinnamon said. "What do you know about this guy? He's been on all day long. He's got some interesting ideas. He sort of reminds me of some of the others back in the Guild."
I'm just trying to sit down for a peaceful night and watch the Minnesota Vikings/Arizona Cardinals game when, out of nowhere, Cinnamon pops up right in front of the television like an eight-year-old who needs glasses (something with which I have experience from my own turn as an eight-year-old).
"Whoa! Who is THAT?!" he practically barks when the camera briefly pans along the sidelines.
"Get your fool head out of the way!" I tell him. "I'm trying to watch the game!"
"Yowza! I can see why. So seriously, who is she?"
"She's a cheerleader, and she's cheering for the wrong team. She actually has very little to do with the game."
"So why do they put her on TV?"
"Well...you know what, I'd rather just watch the game than try to explain the sociological role of NFL cheerleaders in 21st Century America to someone as stupid as you are. Something tells me you aren't paying much attention right now anyway. Just get out of the way and shut up."
"She's going to be back on again though, right? Because I'll watch this game thing if she's going to be back on."
I thought back to last year, and the events that nearly led Cinnamon willingly to his own dismemberment and painful death, and said, "You really do kind of have a 'type,' don't you?"
DAY 15
For once things were quiet when I got home. I was ready for a quiet evening of recharging after a long week when I heard a struggle, followed by a rapid series of clicks and snaps, and then a quiet so sudden and full the house could barely contain it.
"Ahem." The ridiculous dentist-drill voice clearing its throat sounded just like chewing on aluminum foil would feel, if not worse. "A little help here?"
I stepped around the love seat and saw Cinnamon, restrained, with a freakish little creature looming above him.
As soon as my shadow accidentally blocked the lamp light, the creature looked my way, gave its tiny weapon a menacing shake, and hopped away into the darkness.
"Just in time," he said. "You think you can, you know, get me out of here?"
"Nah, I think your good for now," I said, sitting back down. "Just try to relax. And let me know if that thing shows up again."
DAY 16
The twerp hacked my Facebook account while I THOUGHT my phone was charging. I suppose I should feel lucky that he didn't cause any more damage than he did. Sorry for any confusion.
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