I had another retirement party to attend last night. It was for three people at my school, two of whom were on my first grade team back in the first year of my career. Normally a party like this would send my introverted nature into overdrive and I'd be trying to escape the smothering feeling that so many people would be starting up in me, but this was a room full of people I knew fairly well so happily it was a good time. But it was a big closure moment in a lot of ways too, which is kind of dangerous for me right now.
If I start to feel too much like the school year is ending and there is still a week to go, there's a big temptation to start tuning out: There's not as much homework to bring home anymore, I start waking up WAY too early so my daily routine begins to slowly drift into my more summerlike schedule, and it becomes more difficult to invest the same kind of wholesale effort into everything I do that is usually there during the rest of the year. I'm not saying that I completely give up -- I'm just saying it becomes harder not to.
But some catalyst like this retirement party comes along, followed by Track and Field Day today, and suddenly the finish line is in view and the ideas of summer begin creeping in. My summer this year is pretty open at the moment since I don't have any concrete plans beyond the same daily routine I'll eventually fall into, which isn't so bad. But at the same time, there's that whole inertia thing. When there are parts of your life you aren't as satisfied with, whether they are major or minor, it seems like having the better part of three months away from your job would be a perfect time to work on those things. But to get me to shake off the ease of routine? Not something that happens easily. The start of summer is when I can ambitiously start to think about what I'm going to do to take advantage of all this time. The end of summer will have the onset of another school year to distract me from beating up on myself too much for all of the things I never got around to trying or finishing.
I always want to start strong and hope to finish as strong. But it seems I really need someone kicking my butt about it to make it happen.
But it's not all a dark and dangerous time. The last week is one I always soak in, since it's the last few days I get to spend with this group of students, many of whom (but let's not kid ourselves; certainly not all of whom) have become personally important to me. And this year-end has an added element of poignancy for me since Nephew #1 is graduating from high school this weekend -- another post about that likely to follow in the coming days. Plus I've got some changes coming in my job as a long-term colleague is moving on to another school. I'm very happy with who is coming in to take her place, but it's still going to be a big piece of different waiting in the fall. I'm very confident it's going to be a good different though, and I'm looking forward to it.
But not for a few months yet....
