Several years ago, before Instagram and Snapchat came along, back when kids still cared about Facebook, a few students had sent me friend requests. They were all ignored, as I had told them they would be. (There are always a few kids in each group that won’t be going down in history for their mastery of paying attention.) One girl was almost offended that I wouldn’t accept friend requests from kids (her) and more than once tried to negotiate situations that would convince me to change my mind.
This same girl tried again a few years ago, either when she was nearly out of middle school or just beginning high school. My rule back then (and still today) was that I wouldn’t accept requests from any former students until they had turned eighteen and graduated from high school. Her request has now been waiting in my queue, unconfirmed, for three or four years. In just about a month she will graduate, go through commencement, and I’ll be able to finally confirm it.
The thing is, I have absolutely no idea if she’ll notice, or even care.
Is she still active on Facebook? Maybe. Maybe not. Would it still be as big of a deal for her to have me add her as a friend as it would have been in 2009? Doubtfully. I suspect she’ll get a message that I’ve confirmed her request, then have a moment of confusion wondering when she had ever sent me a request in the first place, then maybe laugh a little if/when she puts it all together.
As an elementary teacher, you send students up to the next grade and watch them grow and progress until they leave your school and step off into the wider world, just as they’re starting to becoming something other than little kids. Usually when this happens it means you’re never going to see them again. This describes the overwhelming majority of my formers. Occasionally I’ll see some around town, either out with their families or friends or maybe working at a first job. Most of the time we’ll just exchange friendly hellos, but sometimes we’ll do that mutually agreed upon yet unspoken thing where we pretend not to know each other; I figure if they’re clearly trying so hard to stay off my radar, I’ll let them think they’re staying off of it. Sometimes I know who they are as soon as I see them, but usually I have to run their face through my mental database and age them up a few years to remember.
I have a very small number of former students in that 18+/graduated category (some even in their 30s!) as Facebook friends now. It’s been interesting to get little glimpses into what their adult lives are like, and it’s good to know that whatever memories they have of you trend closer to seeing you as a one-time role model instead of a complete bastard they couldn't wait to escape.
Most of the time we send kids into the world and hope for the best, but usually never know how things turn out. And honestly, sometimes you really don’t want to know. Sometimes it hurts to find out. But when things are working out for your formers in more ways than not, it’s good to see them do well and know that you might have played some small part in helping that happen.
I’ve had a small number of formers reach out to me over the years, but two of those instances tend to stand out. Both were students I had for more than one year, during the time I moved up through the grades in teaching assignments early in my career. One was a young woman who wrote me a letter as she was about to graduate from a small college in the Northeast, thanking me for the time I spent reading her stories and offering her feedback about them, and how I had started her on the path to becoming someone who habitually received compliments about her writing from her professors. Another was guy who went into teaching and found his way into working with the types of high risk/high need students that most of us teachers don’t trust ourselves to be brave or passionate enough to work with effectively. He messaged me to say that since he was in the profession, he understood just how little true appreciation most teachers ever receive for the work we do, and wanted me to know he would always credit me for his decision to become a teacher. (I hope this doesn't mean he also holds it against me.)
There is not a lot of appreciation for teachers in our society anymore. But moments like those make the work worthwhile, and remind you why continuing the struggle is so important. It’s good to be reminded there are people in the world that I had the chance to influence. I can only hope that if my name ever crosses their minds — like it probably will in a few weeks for that soon-to-graduate high school girl when I confirm her friend request — they might smile at the memory and think of good times.
Monday, May 8, 2017
Sunday, May 7, 2017
25 Jobs
My twenty-fifth year as a classroom teacher will come to an end just over a month from now. As important of a job as it is, there are always days I wonder what other paths I could have followed, or what other jobs outside of education I’d be qualified to do if I decided it was time to leave teaching behind. Here’s a list of twenty-five other jobs I think my two-point-five decades of elementary teaching experience would have me prepared to do:
1 - Family counselor: I can spot a kid who has issues going on easily enough. Usually when I meet the family, I can make some solid speculations about what might be going on.
2 - Night custodian: I see the amount of stuff our head custodian has to know to keep the building from falling apart to know that’s WAY beyond me. But constantly having to keep things clean, and working on small, incidental repairs? No problem. I call that Digital Day 5.
3 - Social Events Planner: I don’t want to even try to do the math on how many classroom parties I’ve put together. From sheer repetition, I’m so familiar with everything that needs to be done when throwing together a party I don’t even need to write a checklist.
4 - Travel agent: At least for large groups of people traveling by bus.
5 - Police interrogator: I can sniff out lies like nothing, and more often than not I can get the liar to break.
6 - Bank Teller: Lunch money. Field trips. Book orders. Recorders. Yearbooks. Fund raisers. Carnival tickets. Spirit Wear. I’ve collected money for all of them and have never lost a dime.
7 - Fashion consultant: I’m not saying I’d be the right person to choose an outfit for anyone; my shopping habits are little more than finding a shirt that I don’t hate and then buying it in four or five different colors so I can get through an entire week. However, I’ve certainly seen enough kids rolling through the school sporting examples of fashion don’ts to figure out how to steer people away from them.
8 - Motivational speaker: Anyone who can get a group of 11-year olds to be the least bit excited about doing anything other than playing video games, drawing, or gossiping with their friends should be able to sell tickets to their speaking engagements.
9 - Data processor: I think the reason I don’t know more than the very basics of Microsoft Excel is because I so thoroughly hate making spreadsheets and minimizing the complexities of each student down to a collection of somewhat arbitrary benchmark numbers. But those are the rules we follow when playing the game in the 21st Century, and I can choreograph those numbers into a positive spin with the best of them.
10 - Graphic Designer: I’ve created web sites. Flyers. Posters. Greeting cards. I have somewhere between fifty and one hundred Sharpies in my desk, and I’m pretty sure the real number is closer to the one hundred end of that estimated range.
11 - Researcher: To anyone who thinks there isn’t much more to teaching than just following the directions in a curriculum package and repeating a script, I say HA! Yes, any trained monkey could pull that off without doing any permanent damage, but for anyone ambitious enough to do more than the barest of bare minimums, you need to do your homework and see what resources are out there in the wider world.
12 - Editor: Not only have I spent years of my life deciphering the developing writing skills of several hundred young writers of varying ability, but I’ve also volunteered to review the academic papers and resumés of several colleagues.
13 - Librarian: Recommending books. Organizing. Reading aloud. All in my wheelhouse.
14 - Nutritionist: From the number of times I’ve had to look a kid in the eye and say, “Are you kidding me? You’re seriously eating THAT for breakfast?!”
15 - Meteorologist: They may not always listen, but I try to warn the kids about what the weather has in store for them at recess. When they come back in, wind-burned and shivering because they didn't put on the sweatshirt I recommended, I usually enjoy a sweet and internal "I told you so."
16 - Journalist: Not only do I help write a monthly calendar/newsletter for classroom families this year, but in past years I’ve done it on my own weekly. I’ve even had an article or two related to something going on at school show up in the local newspaper.
17 - Web master: I ushered the school web site through at least three evolutionary stages.
18 - DJ: I’ve programmed several Pandora stations based around my possible moods at the end of the school day, to make sure I have the right thing to listen to as I stay late to either pick up the pieces of whatever went wrong that day or proactively try to prevent it from happening again.
19 - Traffic control supervisor: I was in charge of the school safety patrol for fifteen years. Think about that. Fifteen years. How many things in your life can you say you’ve done for fifteen years?
20 - Carny: I’ve been in charge of the dunk tank at Track and Field Day long enough to feel I can turn on a hose, hand someone a softball, and occasionally fix a simple machine with some proficiency.
21 - Office manager: At least as far as being able to tell people why small paper clips and sticky notes that come packaged accordion-style are some of the worst things ever created.
22 - Waiter: I’m thinking of one person in particular here, and I hope one of my past colleagues reads this because I know how much she will laugh if she does, but there have been years when I’ve had my lunch napkins “borrowed” so many times that I started bringing extras from the cafeteria, just to make sure she had enough for whatever she had packed away in her stainless steel boxed lunch that day.
23 - Gum salesman: I’ve had so many kids spit out their gum so many times over twenty-five years (with this year possibly holding certain records) that it makes me wish I was getting a small percentage of every pack sold to these people.
24 - Author: Because I’m part of the way there already. And man, do I have some stories to tell after twenty-five years….
25 - President of the United States: Because these days it seems like any knucklehead can do this.
1 - Family counselor: I can spot a kid who has issues going on easily enough. Usually when I meet the family, I can make some solid speculations about what might be going on.
2 - Night custodian: I see the amount of stuff our head custodian has to know to keep the building from falling apart to know that’s WAY beyond me. But constantly having to keep things clean, and working on small, incidental repairs? No problem. I call that Digital Day 5.
3 - Social Events Planner: I don’t want to even try to do the math on how many classroom parties I’ve put together. From sheer repetition, I’m so familiar with everything that needs to be done when throwing together a party I don’t even need to write a checklist.
4 - Travel agent: At least for large groups of people traveling by bus.
5 - Police interrogator: I can sniff out lies like nothing, and more often than not I can get the liar to break.
6 - Bank Teller: Lunch money. Field trips. Book orders. Recorders. Yearbooks. Fund raisers. Carnival tickets. Spirit Wear. I’ve collected money for all of them and have never lost a dime.
7 - Fashion consultant: I’m not saying I’d be the right person to choose an outfit for anyone; my shopping habits are little more than finding a shirt that I don’t hate and then buying it in four or five different colors so I can get through an entire week. However, I’ve certainly seen enough kids rolling through the school sporting examples of fashion don’ts to figure out how to steer people away from them.
8 - Motivational speaker: Anyone who can get a group of 11-year olds to be the least bit excited about doing anything other than playing video games, drawing, or gossiping with their friends should be able to sell tickets to their speaking engagements.
9 - Data processor: I think the reason I don’t know more than the very basics of Microsoft Excel is because I so thoroughly hate making spreadsheets and minimizing the complexities of each student down to a collection of somewhat arbitrary benchmark numbers. But those are the rules we follow when playing the game in the 21st Century, and I can choreograph those numbers into a positive spin with the best of them.
10 - Graphic Designer: I’ve created web sites. Flyers. Posters. Greeting cards. I have somewhere between fifty and one hundred Sharpies in my desk, and I’m pretty sure the real number is closer to the one hundred end of that estimated range.
11 - Researcher: To anyone who thinks there isn’t much more to teaching than just following the directions in a curriculum package and repeating a script, I say HA! Yes, any trained monkey could pull that off without doing any permanent damage, but for anyone ambitious enough to do more than the barest of bare minimums, you need to do your homework and see what resources are out there in the wider world.
12 - Editor: Not only have I spent years of my life deciphering the developing writing skills of several hundred young writers of varying ability, but I’ve also volunteered to review the academic papers and resumés of several colleagues.
13 - Librarian: Recommending books. Organizing. Reading aloud. All in my wheelhouse.
14 - Nutritionist: From the number of times I’ve had to look a kid in the eye and say, “Are you kidding me? You’re seriously eating THAT for breakfast?!”
15 - Meteorologist: They may not always listen, but I try to warn the kids about what the weather has in store for them at recess. When they come back in, wind-burned and shivering because they didn't put on the sweatshirt I recommended, I usually enjoy a sweet and internal "I told you so."
16 - Journalist: Not only do I help write a monthly calendar/newsletter for classroom families this year, but in past years I’ve done it on my own weekly. I’ve even had an article or two related to something going on at school show up in the local newspaper.
17 - Web master: I ushered the school web site through at least three evolutionary stages.
18 - DJ: I’ve programmed several Pandora stations based around my possible moods at the end of the school day, to make sure I have the right thing to listen to as I stay late to either pick up the pieces of whatever went wrong that day or proactively try to prevent it from happening again.
19 - Traffic control supervisor: I was in charge of the school safety patrol for fifteen years. Think about that. Fifteen years. How many things in your life can you say you’ve done for fifteen years?
20 - Carny: I’ve been in charge of the dunk tank at Track and Field Day long enough to feel I can turn on a hose, hand someone a softball, and occasionally fix a simple machine with some proficiency.
21 - Office manager: At least as far as being able to tell people why small paper clips and sticky notes that come packaged accordion-style are some of the worst things ever created.
22 - Waiter: I’m thinking of one person in particular here, and I hope one of my past colleagues reads this because I know how much she will laugh if she does, but there have been years when I’ve had my lunch napkins “borrowed” so many times that I started bringing extras from the cafeteria, just to make sure she had enough for whatever she had packed away in her stainless steel boxed lunch that day.
23 - Gum salesman: I’ve had so many kids spit out their gum so many times over twenty-five years (with this year possibly holding certain records) that it makes me wish I was getting a small percentage of every pack sold to these people.
24 - Author: Because I’m part of the way there already. And man, do I have some stories to tell after twenty-five years….
25 - President of the United States: Because these days it seems like any knucklehead can do this.
Saturday, May 6, 2017
The One Week Challenge
Last May I wrote a post describing my experience with downloading a meditation app and using it for the ten free trial days. It was an interesting experiment but wasn't something that ultimately stuck for me. Thinking back to that makes me wonder if I shouldn't give it another try; it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for someone working through the stress of the last month of the school year to pause and take ten minutes each day to reach for some calm centering.
Maybe I'll get to that someday, but I try to avoid redundancies in my blog post topics so I wouldn't write about it again. I liked the idea, though -- taking on a short-term challenge just for the experience of changing things up a little.
I know this is going up on a Saturday and it's been really nice outside, so there's no telling how many people will even see this post. But all the same: If I were going to take on a similar challenge this year, does anyone have ideas or suggestions I could try taking on for a week long challenge? Some change in routine, or something new and different to experience? I like the idea of going with suggestions since I think that could nudge me further out of my comfort zone.
If you have ideas, let's try to stay away from the predictable. I feel like I'm more apt to go with something that I probably wouldn't think to try on my own. I'd really like to do this, but I feel like I'd need a nice collection of ideas to pick from.
On a somewhat related note, does anyone have recommendations when it comes to artists who produce electronic dance music? Asking for a friend....
Maybe I'll get to that someday, but I try to avoid redundancies in my blog post topics so I wouldn't write about it again. I liked the idea, though -- taking on a short-term challenge just for the experience of changing things up a little.
I know this is going up on a Saturday and it's been really nice outside, so there's no telling how many people will even see this post. But all the same: If I were going to take on a similar challenge this year, does anyone have ideas or suggestions I could try taking on for a week long challenge? Some change in routine, or something new and different to experience? I like the idea of going with suggestions since I think that could nudge me further out of my comfort zone.
If you have ideas, let's try to stay away from the predictable. I feel like I'm more apt to go with something that I probably wouldn't think to try on my own. I'd really like to do this, but I feel like I'd need a nice collection of ideas to pick from.
On a somewhat related note, does anyone have recommendations when it comes to artists who produce electronic dance music? Asking for a friend....
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