One of my favorite things about summer is going to the movies. Sometimes two hours of escape from a hot afternoon is just about perfect. A lot of the movies that come out in the summer are little more than spectacle, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing when you’re taking two and a half months to try and decompress from a school year. I have a lot I’m looking forward to seeing this year, but I’ll narrow that list down to ten today, and give some reasons why I’m looking forward to them. Then I’ll let summer arrive so I can discover how wrong or right I was.
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 -- It starts tomorrow! The best thing about the first one was how it took the world completely by surprise; unfortunately, that kind of feeling can’t be replicated. It’s only the second movie in the franchise though, so there has to be a lot they can still do with it before it all becomes an overblown mess. Plus there’s Baby Groot, which gives the writers a whole new playground to work with. I’m very optimistic here.
Baywatch -- I never watched more than maybe one or two episodes of the show, but the previews make this look like it could turn out to be the stupidest kind of hilarious. It makes me a little disappointed I have Memorial Day plans and won’t be able to see it right away.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword -- This looks like gritty and well-made adventure epic. The problem I know I’ll have with it is Charlie Hunnam. No matter how much older he is now or what he’s done since, I’m never going to be able to see him as anything except Lloyd from “Undeclared,” grown up and taking on another acting job.
The Mummy -- Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he has a pretty solid track record with action movies.
Wonder Woman -- I think the crop of DC movies are coming after the conclusion of Christian Bale’s trilogy as Batman have been just shy of bad. Having said that, Wonder Woman was, by far, the best thing about that dour Batman vs. Superman movie. That moment when the big ugly radioactive monster punched her clear across the industrial park and she looked up with a little “bring it on” grin said a lot about how they’re handling the character. I’m looking forward seeing more of that.
Spider-Man: Homecoming -- One of my favorite superhero movie moments is Toby Maguire in “Spider-Man 2” struggling to stop a runaway train. I really hope seeing Spider-Man existing in the same universe as the Avengers will bring a new and truer sensibility to the character. I think the kid they have playing him looks just about perfect for the job.
Dunkirk -- A big serious WWII epic could be just the thing to break up all the summertime action and silliness. The fact that this is coming from Christopher Nolan doesn’t hurt its chances.
The Big Sick -- Kumail Nanjiani is one of the best things about the show “Silicon Valley.” He’s been a reliable scene-stealer in a lot of other movies and television shows leading up to this one, which he co-wrote. Plus it has Zoe Kazan, one of my actress crushes, so yeah, I’m there.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets -- I’m curious about this. A humongous science fiction movie from the same guy who made The Fifth Element, which was very strange, but still something I’ve watched repeatedly. I just hope it’s not too far out there.
The Dark Tower -- I really want this is a good movie. If I’m being honest, I thought the Dark Tower books had too much weird for the sake of being weird going on, and not all of them were great. I’ve read that the movie is meant to cycle away from the novels some (if you know how the series ended, you might understand what that means). I’m hoping it will stick with the premise but not necessarily remain completely loyal to the story. The trailer for this gives me hope that’s the case.
Did I miss any?
Friday, May 5, 2017
Thursday, May 4, 2017
How to Become a Millionaire
You might think from the title of this post that I’m joking, but I assure you I’m not. I’ve cracked it. I’ve figured out precisely what steps need to be followed to make practically anyone into a millionaire. It’ll take work, and a small capital investment up front, but I feel I can almost guarantee success.
If you pay attention to the media at all, you’ve probably recently seen a news story or article about fidget spinners. Maybe it was about how they’re the new craze with all the kids these days. Maybe it was something about how their slightly hypnotic nature makes them a great source of stimulation to help some students with specific learning challenges focus more effectively in school.
In my world, they’re nothing but the newest Pog.
Back in the summer of 1993, my first summer vacation as a teacher, I took a trip to Hawaii for about a week and a half to visit an old high school friend of mine who was stationed in the Navy. At some point during that trip, he was telling me about pogs, the collectible toys that had started out as milk carton caps or something like that. There was some game that involved them, and kids all over the Hawaiian islands were playing it and collecting them like crazy. I didn’t get it. They were basically cardboard circles, I’d argue. Why are people spending money on sets of these, and carrying cases for them, and trading them to get ones with special designs?
Just wait, he said. It’s only a matter of time.
He was right. Half an ocean wasn’t enough to keep them from spreading to the mainland, and less than two years later far too many of my third graders counted their Pog collections as not only their most prized possessions, but an indicator of their place in the social order of elementary school.
Ever since the days of Pogs, I’ve seen one trend after another come and go. Some disappear forever, while some just drop off in craze popularity and become a niche interest. Beanie Babies. Gel pens. Goosebumps books. A Rubik’s cube resurgence. Silly Bandz. Kendamas. Pokemon Cards. Each of these things and probably half a dozen others I don't remember has in turn reached a level of popularity that eclipsed every other toy or fad or hobby of its time. They all had their moments of news story or newspaper article focus. Many were hated by teachers, and eventually banned from schools due to their monumental distraction potential.
We’re in 2017 now. Fidget Spinners have taken their place in the overblown collection fad rotation, and have, at least in the case of my school, reached the inevitable point of saturation that leads to a school-wide ban.
So here’s what I’m thinking. If someone was willing to invest a reasonably minimum amount of capital and stick around for the long haul, it really would not be difficult to take advantage of the hive mentality guiding so many kids to their current favorite toys. If you’re up for it, here’s how to make this happen:
*You’d need a storefront somewhere, and probably in a mall space with a lot of traffic. Families wouldn’t travel halfway across the city to buy one very specific toy, but if they were already going to a place with nine other places they’d like to shop? Boom. Then you give the place a catchy title, something like “Childhood Obsessions” but maybe with a connotation a little less dark than that. You could still operate online sales through the store, but a physical space will prove to be vital.
*Stock your store with all the goofy things kids like to collect, even if they’re a few cycles out of style. When the ankle-biters comes into the store to buy the cool new whatever they so desperately want, they’ll drag the parents with them, and you’ll be ready with your display of gel pens or retired Beanie Babies ready to grab Mom and Stepdad by the nostalgia for more sales. Of course the biggest part of your profits will be whatever the cool toy of the day is, but you need to stay in business between cycles, so having that archive stock is just as important.
*Promote your store by word of mouth. Get your name out there on Instagram and Snapchat, because those are the social networks kids care about. Arrange to set up kiosks at their weekend soccer tournaments or dance competitions.
*Most importantly, while you are inserting yourself into the child-populated world, pay attention to what they’re talking about and playing with and posting online. Look for the growing trends. When you see a rising popularity in Glow-In-The-Dark Unicorn Ghost Putty, POUNCE. Buy as much as you can, and fill as many of your store shelves as you’re able. Get the normal kind of Ghost Putty, get the kind with the glitter mixed in, get a few tubs of the kind that changes color the longer kids play with it, get the collector sets that come with three different colors and a named unicorn figurine with a multi-colored mane that matches the colors of Ghost Putty that came in the pack. Cover all your bases so you're prepared to accommodate the needs of the Ghost Putty starter as well as the hardcore collector.
*Ride that trend into the ground. By now your store will be so popular that all of the junior television news reporters who get stuck with producing the inevitable Unicorn Ghost Putty story will see your store show up first in their Google search of local businesses that sell it. This will build the perception that your store is the marquee outlet in the entire metropolitan area for purchasing quality Unicorn Ghost Putty — not that generic crap you always see by the cash registers at gas stations and convenience stores. That news story will draw you more business. All you have to do is keep selling that stuff right up to the week immediately after the wave eventually crashes.
*Count up the cash you collected as a result of the latest craze, then sit back and wait for the next one to spin up.
Nothing to it!
If you pay attention to the media at all, you’ve probably recently seen a news story or article about fidget spinners. Maybe it was about how they’re the new craze with all the kids these days. Maybe it was something about how their slightly hypnotic nature makes them a great source of stimulation to help some students with specific learning challenges focus more effectively in school.
In my world, they’re nothing but the newest Pog.
Back in the summer of 1993, my first summer vacation as a teacher, I took a trip to Hawaii for about a week and a half to visit an old high school friend of mine who was stationed in the Navy. At some point during that trip, he was telling me about pogs, the collectible toys that had started out as milk carton caps or something like that. There was some game that involved them, and kids all over the Hawaiian islands were playing it and collecting them like crazy. I didn’t get it. They were basically cardboard circles, I’d argue. Why are people spending money on sets of these, and carrying cases for them, and trading them to get ones with special designs?
Just wait, he said. It’s only a matter of time.
He was right. Half an ocean wasn’t enough to keep them from spreading to the mainland, and less than two years later far too many of my third graders counted their Pog collections as not only their most prized possessions, but an indicator of their place in the social order of elementary school.
Ever since the days of Pogs, I’ve seen one trend after another come and go. Some disappear forever, while some just drop off in craze popularity and become a niche interest. Beanie Babies. Gel pens. Goosebumps books. A Rubik’s cube resurgence. Silly Bandz. Kendamas. Pokemon Cards. Each of these things and probably half a dozen others I don't remember has in turn reached a level of popularity that eclipsed every other toy or fad or hobby of its time. They all had their moments of news story or newspaper article focus. Many were hated by teachers, and eventually banned from schools due to their monumental distraction potential.
We’re in 2017 now. Fidget Spinners have taken their place in the overblown collection fad rotation, and have, at least in the case of my school, reached the inevitable point of saturation that leads to a school-wide ban.
So here’s what I’m thinking. If someone was willing to invest a reasonably minimum amount of capital and stick around for the long haul, it really would not be difficult to take advantage of the hive mentality guiding so many kids to their current favorite toys. If you’re up for it, here’s how to make this happen:
*You’d need a storefront somewhere, and probably in a mall space with a lot of traffic. Families wouldn’t travel halfway across the city to buy one very specific toy, but if they were already going to a place with nine other places they’d like to shop? Boom. Then you give the place a catchy title, something like “Childhood Obsessions” but maybe with a connotation a little less dark than that. You could still operate online sales through the store, but a physical space will prove to be vital.
*Stock your store with all the goofy things kids like to collect, even if they’re a few cycles out of style. When the ankle-biters comes into the store to buy the cool new whatever they so desperately want, they’ll drag the parents with them, and you’ll be ready with your display of gel pens or retired Beanie Babies ready to grab Mom and Stepdad by the nostalgia for more sales. Of course the biggest part of your profits will be whatever the cool toy of the day is, but you need to stay in business between cycles, so having that archive stock is just as important.
*Promote your store by word of mouth. Get your name out there on Instagram and Snapchat, because those are the social networks kids care about. Arrange to set up kiosks at their weekend soccer tournaments or dance competitions.
*Most importantly, while you are inserting yourself into the child-populated world, pay attention to what they’re talking about and playing with and posting online. Look for the growing trends. When you see a rising popularity in Glow-In-The-Dark Unicorn Ghost Putty, POUNCE. Buy as much as you can, and fill as many of your store shelves as you’re able. Get the normal kind of Ghost Putty, get the kind with the glitter mixed in, get a few tubs of the kind that changes color the longer kids play with it, get the collector sets that come with three different colors and a named unicorn figurine with a multi-colored mane that matches the colors of Ghost Putty that came in the pack. Cover all your bases so you're prepared to accommodate the needs of the Ghost Putty starter as well as the hardcore collector.
*Ride that trend into the ground. By now your store will be so popular that all of the junior television news reporters who get stuck with producing the inevitable Unicorn Ghost Putty story will see your store show up first in their Google search of local businesses that sell it. This will build the perception that your store is the marquee outlet in the entire metropolitan area for purchasing quality Unicorn Ghost Putty — not that generic crap you always see by the cash registers at gas stations and convenience stores. That news story will draw you more business. All you have to do is keep selling that stuff right up to the week immediately after the wave eventually crashes.
*Count up the cash you collected as a result of the latest craze, then sit back and wait for the next one to spin up.
Nothing to it!
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Two Times Ten to the Fourth
I’m posting this early in the morning because something could happen here on the blog today. In a post a couple days ago, I mentioned there were two blog landmarks being reached this month. It seems one is about to happen.
Sometime today ‘Summer Vacation’ will likely cross the 20,000 hit mark.
Twenty-thousand. Seems like an awfully big number.
Last year I thought it was a big deal when it reached 15,000 in May. The year before, as I discovered when I investigated, the May posts pushed the total up to 10,000. In the teaching game, we call that a pattern. Five thousand seems like a good number of views for a year, but since I have some self-competitive drive that leaves me with a vague unwillingness to be satisfied with most accomplishments, it makes me wonder if I could push that up to to the 6,000-7,000 range in the coming year. That's a topic for another day, though.
If you read this today, May 3, and whatever browser window you’re using has the capability to see the hit counter I have displayed on the page, I’d encourage you to look for it. Just like I did last year, I’ll offer up some kind of prize or reward to whoever the person is who can say with reasonable certainty they were the one to bring in the 20,000th hit, or at least be reasonably close. To have 20,000 hits on a blog that I only started for the writing practice feels like benchmark I should let myself acknowledge, even if in only some small way. That prize could be a topic request (I still have a few blank days on my May post-planning calendar) or some other kind of real-world thing we could figure out, something like an actual low-key celebration (I feel this landmark really only merits low-key at best). Maybe you can get a character named after you in the new manuscript! The possibilities are wide open.
If you’re the person to reach that number, whether it happens today or later in the week, post a comment on the link to let me know, or throw some suggestions my way about what I, or we, could do to commemorate this.
Ready…go!
Sometime today ‘Summer Vacation’ will likely cross the 20,000 hit mark.
Twenty-thousand. Seems like an awfully big number.
Last year I thought it was a big deal when it reached 15,000 in May. The year before, as I discovered when I investigated, the May posts pushed the total up to 10,000. In the teaching game, we call that a pattern. Five thousand seems like a good number of views for a year, but since I have some self-competitive drive that leaves me with a vague unwillingness to be satisfied with most accomplishments, it makes me wonder if I could push that up to to the 6,000-7,000 range in the coming year. That's a topic for another day, though.
If you read this today, May 3, and whatever browser window you’re using has the capability to see the hit counter I have displayed on the page, I’d encourage you to look for it. Just like I did last year, I’ll offer up some kind of prize or reward to whoever the person is who can say with reasonable certainty they were the one to bring in the 20,000th hit, or at least be reasonably close. To have 20,000 hits on a blog that I only started for the writing practice feels like benchmark I should let myself acknowledge, even if in only some small way. That prize could be a topic request (I still have a few blank days on my May post-planning calendar) or some other kind of real-world thing we could figure out, something like an actual low-key celebration (I feel this landmark really only merits low-key at best). Maybe you can get a character named after you in the new manuscript! The possibilities are wide open.
If you’re the person to reach that number, whether it happens today or later in the week, post a comment on the link to let me know, or throw some suggestions my way about what I, or we, could do to commemorate this.
Ready…go!
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