I had a crap day, the kind of day when things seem to go wrong on
purpose. Jumping through hoops of needless redundancy, continually
bumping up against nine-year-old minds that have been operating on a
five-year-old capacity for the day, starting off the morning with
relative optimism and being all too aware of how it was evaporating out
from under me as one five-minute time suck after another presented
itself and broke me down. I'm not saying it was the kind of day that
leaves you wanting to go home and curl up with a pint of ice cream so
you can feel sorry for yourself while you eat your feelings, but more
like the kind of day where you want to let loose with as many creative
f-bomb phrasings as you can muster while driving home. To give you the
necessary perspective of where I'm coming from: I'm listening to
Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album as I write this post, and it feels
absolutely purging. (Incidentally, this post might be typo'd up more
than usual because I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE EDITING anything tonight).
I
know we all have frustrating days and I know I'll bounce back from this
one, but in the short term I really would rather not spend the precious
few hours I have of my evening replaying the events of the day in my
head and yelling things like "Did you have a REASON for breaking your
%^&*$#! pencil into four pieces when you were supposed to be
using it to take your spelling test?!?!" at an empty room. So in an
effort to give myself some chance at an existential reframing and
hopefully calming down enough to just watch TV and read and work on a
pitch and relax, I'm taking advantage of tonight's post to write down a
list of ten things that are good about life right now. I'm hoping that
reminding myself about the temporary nature of most problems will help
drag my perspective back to acknowledging that even though this one day
had more than its share of crap to it, things in the big picture really
aren't so bad and I should be thankful for that. Now to find out if I
can really think of ten things.
1. We have ducklings in
the courtyard at school, and this year my classroom is on the courtyard
so my class has a great view of them. I know that in the past some
teachers have gotten all crankypants about the kids finding the ducks so
fascinating, especially if it interrupts a lesson, but it's been my
experience that if you have any game with classroom management you
should be able handle the occasional distraction and even find a way to
make it a positive. For however long the ducklings will be with us, they
never fail to make the kids happy.
2. There are
nineteen school days left this year. I'm not counting the 20th, which is
a staff work day, because regardless of what I have to do on that day,
as long as I'm able to walk around plugged into an iPod and carrying
around a playlist I've crafted for that particular day, it's hard to
think of it as work in the same way as usual.
3. Sunday
nights on HBO. I've started watching the new season of Game of Thrones
with the intention of binging it this summer to find out what all the
fuss is about, and even though I have no idea what's going on most of
the time I'm starting to put things together. Silicon Valley is a
reliably funny show, and Veep could be the funniest show on television
right now; you have to admire a show that structures its profanity with
that kind if ingenuity. I don't usually make it as late as Last Week
Tonight -- two and a half hours of TV is a marathon -- but I know I'll
have it waiting for me on the DVR the following morning.
4.
There was a morning late last week when I stepped outside to get the
newspaper and saw the buds on the tree in my front yard had shed their
outer layers to reveal tiny emergent leaves at the very tips of each
branch. I noticed later in the evening that more leaves had come out
further down the branches, and even more the following morning. I love
noticing little things about nature like that. It makes me feel like I
got a glimpse behind the scenes.
5. My birthday is next
week. I'm conflicted on this, usually; on one side, being an extreme
introvert, I don't like big hairy deals made about it that are going to
draw a lot of attention to it. But the people who populate my inner
circle seem to understand and respect that, and I can usually rely on
someone to find a way to work in some small, quiet, more personal
acknowledgement of it, which is all the more meaningful than the kind of
big, yelling, crowd-sourced, flash-mob, sing-along blowout that would
effectively ruin my day.
6. Tomorrow I'll finish a read aloud book that I'm not enjoying very much, and will get to start a new one the following day.
7.
I dropped my iPod Classic face down on the kitchen floor this morning.
It didn't break. And since they don't make replacement parts for those
anymore -- WHEW.
I think this is working...the Metallica album sounds more like an assault than a release now....
8.
I started reading a new book last night and got caught up in it very
quickly, so I'm looking forward to spending some time with it tonight.
(FYI - the book is "The Shark Curtain" by Chris Scofield, and yes, it is
available as a digital download; I'm reading it on my iPad. I'm
legitimately enjoying the book so far, but I'm including the plug here
because Chris and I share a literary agent, and Chris has recommended a
ton of movies for me to add to my Netflix queue for the summer.) (And
maybe it's worth putting a related #8.1 in here as well -- I have an
agent. I tell ya, that does not get old, and its certainly worth a few
points of positive perspective.)
9. My sister didn't
die in a car wreck. That's always worth remembering. And both of my
parents are still with us. I know not everyone is able to say that.
10.
We're on a cool streak in the weather right now, with mid-May temps in
the upper-40s to mid-60s range. I wouldn't mind a little more warmth,
but a few days like this is enough to sap all the heat out of my house.
I'm really okay with this because it's easy to put on a sweatshirt and
feel just fine, but also because a cool house like this TOTALLY means
I'm going to sleep like a rock tonight.
There. Ten things. The nonsense of the day is a bit more distant now, and I feel better.
But I still don't feel like going back to proofread this. Oh well. Each post can't be a diamond....
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