For some reason, the idea of a bucket list keeps working its way into my May blog posts each year. Even though I love to structure my life around To-Do lists, I’m not a big proponent of bucket lists. Mine wouldn’t be all that noteworthy since I really only have two or three things I still want to do before I die. Mostly I’d rather just wait and see what happy surprises life has in store for me instead of try and manufacture events that would have equal chances of living up to expectations or not. For example: Three years ago I wouldn’t have known Port Townsend, Washington even existed, but the day trip I took there while visiting some friends in the area was wonderful. I never would have put visiting Port Townsend on a bucket list, but I’m happy I had the chance to go there.
Today would have been my sister Erin’s 45th birthday. The last of her birthdays she was here to celebrate was her 33rd. I know quite a few people who are in that early-thirties stage of life right now. On days like this, I'm reminded when I think about those people how, regardless of how accomplished or established in their lives or careers they might be, 33 is still so relatively young. However, as in the case in so many other examples besides how a life is spent, quality can matter just as much as quantity, if not more. From certain perspectives, it would be absolutely fair to say that Erin did more living with the time she was allotted than many other people have with theirs, including me.
I was thinking about this a month or two ago, when one of those “copy, paste, reply, and tag ten other people” lists was trying to get some traction on Facebook. It included a collection of life moments ranging from the mundane to the extraordinary that people might feel worthy of inclusion on a bucket list. Knowing I’d be writing a May blog post for Erin’s birthday, I copied that list to see how many of the things on it are things she would have done, or maybe would have done without my knowing, or likely would have done:
*Fired a gun: I have to think she did, at least once.
*Skipped school: Faking a sick day in elementary? Of course. Skipping classes in college? Absolutely. Taking off with friends in high school? That I’m not sure about.
*Watched someone give birth: She was there for the birth of at least one of our nephews.
*Watched someone die: During her life she worked both as an EMT for a time, and as the activities director in an assisted living center. It wouldn’t surprise me if she'd been there for someone else's final moments.
*Visited Canada: I honestly don’t know. I can’t think of a reason she would have had to.
*Visited Europe: Yes. More than once.
*Visited Las Vegas: At least one time, and I know for a fact she came out ahead.
*Visited Los Angeles: Maybe? I think?
*Visited New York: I don’t think so. I really think she would have made big enough deal about it afterward if she had. Maybe stopping there on a layover, but I don’t think ever as a specific visit.
*Seen the Grand Canyon in person: I’m not entirely sure about this one, but something sticks at me saying that it happened. Maybe I’m remembering wrong after so many years.
*Flown in a helicopter. Yes to this one. I was beside her.
*Cried herself to sleep: I’m confident about this one happening.
*Recently colored with pencils: Well, not recently. But if the adult coloring books that are such a big deal in certain circles these days had been popular fifteen years ago, she would have had a stack.
*Sang karaoke: Most definitely.
*Paid for a meal with coins: Wouldn’t surprise me.
*Made prank phone calls: Without a doubt.
*Laughed so much she cried: Literally hundreds of times.
*Had a pet: Absolutely.
*Jet-skiing: I can’t see how she wouldn’t have at least tried it.
*Waterskied: I’m sure she at least tried.
*Parasailed: She most certainly did, in an instance that ultimately inspired a key moment at the ending of “Following Infinity.”
*Camped in a tent: Many times.
*Jumped out of an airplane: Yes. It was a goal of hers to do this before turning 30. She brought our aunt and uncle with, but didn’t tell any of us in the family about it until afterward because she didn’t want our parents to know until it was done.
*Gone to a drive-in movie: Many times, usually falling asleep in the back of the family station wagon before the movie was over.
*Eaten just cookies, cake, or ice cream for breakfast: Well, of course.
*Stolen any traffic signs: I don’t think so. But there were a couple years of dorm life in college where there was a lot going on, and since I didn’t live on campus when she was at school I can’t account for all of what may have gone on.
*Been to jail: No. And seriously, who would put this on a bucket list anyway?
*Ridden a rollercoaster: Many times.
*Stayed in a hospital: Certainly more than she would have cared to.
*Donated blood: Probably.
*Gotten a tattoo: Yes, with less than a year to live. Right on her butt. And of course it got infected, which her oncologist found amusing.
*Driven over 100 miles per hour: I’ll go with probably. I know she drove close to 80 once with a hyperactive Jack Russell terrier sitting in her lap, which should probably count for just as dangerous.
*Lived on her own: I don’t think she ever did. Out of the three of us siblings, Erin was the sore thumb extrovert. She needed people around her.
*Been to a Broadway musical: I don’t think one actually on broadway, but many touring shows, to say nothing of the cast recordings she had in her slightly bizarre CD collection.
It would have been nice to have her with us longer. It would have been nice to know who she would have been at forty-five years old. But it’s still nice knowing that she used the time she had as well as she did.
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