Memorial

To commemorate the 6th year anniversary of my sister's death, here's a brief excerpt from the memoir I wrote about the days surrounding all of that.

As always, if anyone reading this is interested in seeing the whole manuscript, let me know and I'll somehow get a copy for you to look at.

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I quietly stepped away from the crowd still congregating in Erin’s room with the lights still down, speaking in the hushed tones of late night but not with the same cautious quiet there had been when there was a danger of waking her. I went to the front door and stepped outside. It was early Tuesday morning now, October 5th. I stood out in the dark as it occurred to me for the first time that would be the date on the marker by her grave. October 5th had always been just another date to me, one of the dates that passed with little consequence. Another page to be torn off the desk calendar and discarded. When Erin died, October 5th took on a new importance, and did so with such immediacy it was as though it had been a landmark date all along, a date that had a depth and resonance I had somehow managed to overlook my entire life and suddenly understood.

I looked up at the sky. It was a cool night and the sky was crystal clear. Elk River is a fair distance from the Cities, so the nights out there aren’t as affected by the light pollution as the skies above my own home, the skies I stare into when taking Spencer out for his final walk of the night. There were so many more stars there, and the sky looked infinite. I stood there for a few minutes wondering about where Erin was, what she was doing, what form she had taken. Was she in Heaven already, or did she have a journey to complete before getting there? Was she still hovering in that corner of her bedroom, watching over everyone as they were slowly recovering from the shock? Did she see me leave and follow me outside? As I looked up into the stars, the only conclusion I could reach was my sister as I knew her was now gone, and had become something far beyond what I could understand.