Surfing Down the Avalanche, or Jumping Off the Cliff

Self-indulgent writer alert....

October 29th. This is likely to be my last post before NaNoWriMo 2010 begins.

Last night, for the sake of curiosity more than anything else, I played through the iTunes playlist I fine-tuned a year ago into what eventually became my "Following Infinity" writing soundtrack. Even though so many people have read that manuscript now that I can't even remember who's seen it and who hasn't, I feel they've missed out on the full experience without hearing the music I listened to while writing it. I can't separate the ideas from the songs I played that inspired the tone of the writing. I can't separate the emotion I tried to convey from the emotion that these songs inspired. I listen to this playlist in order, and I'm back inside Molly's head. I feel her pain and confusion, and her ultimate steps toward closure. I smell the smoke on Frank's jacket. I hear Ali singing along with the radio even though she never did in the book, because she did during parts of the story that I didn't write but, for me, still happened with as much authenticity as anything I did write. I remember what it felt like when Molly's knees gave out from underneath her when she broke down, because the same thing happened to me once.

And revisiting all of this actually makes this year's attempt seem all the more daunting. Most of the people who know me and are familiar with my daily life felt they had a pretty good bead on who I modeled Molly after, and to a certain degree they weren't wrong. But a lot more of her came from my experiences than from anywhere or anyone else. And this year? The story I'm going after is a lot less personal. So there's going to be a lot less for me to tap into. Which is okay. I really feel that my approach to writing has changed dramatically in just the past three or four months, and I'm excited to see what that's going to do. I've got tons of ideas for this new project, and I'm anxious to start playing them out.

But the problem is I've only got it figured out to a point. I have what I think is about a third of what will ultimately be the whole book plotted out in fair detail: I know my two main characters. and I know what drives them. I know what matters to them most. I know what they love and what they fear. I know where they are as the story begins, and I know what carries them into the catalyst of not just the main plot line, but what could be at least three concurrent subplots as well. I know how one innocent kiss will bring them together in a way that neither of them ever would have imagined in the beginning. And I know that soon after that, their worlds will start to unravel.

I just don't know WHY yet.

I know why it needs to happen, and I have a general idea of what will happen in the wake of the unraveling, but I don't know how to get there yet. There have been many possibilities jumping up at me, but so far none of them have really stuck. There's not that satisfying feeling of things sliding into place because they are exactly as they should be. And this means I'm throwing a lot of faith behind the idea of letting the characters further develop as the story comes together, and hoping the added definition of who they are will show me what direction to go. It would also be great if somewhere along the line here, I can come up with a title that doesn't completely suck.

So there's a vague sense of adventure in beginning this. I'd love to start tonight, but I can't begin officially until midnight, Nov. 1, and if I am anything at my core it's an obsessive rule-follower. So I will wait. But I'll plot, and note-take, and diagram, and whatever else I can to do give myself a head start. And I'll write up my lesson plans for the week so I don't have to bother with them during the school nights I'll be writing. And I'll format lesson plans through Thanksgiving so I can save time in the coming weeks. And I'll clean the house within an inch of its life this weekend because I know that's going to get neglected until I'm done. And I'll plan out what my meals will be for the next week down to the portion size, just to eliminate the random bits of time wasted by trying to decide what to eat. And I'll set the DVR so I can pace out my TV watching during the week to allow myself time to write each evening, and even more time over the weekends (hey, you have to clear your head somehow). I'll plan out which nights I HAVE to go to the Y, and know exactly what my workouts will be while I'm there, and know exactly how long they will take me, from the moment I leave the house to the moment I get home, or at least within 10-15 minutes, which still feels pretty precise. I know my Bejeweled Blitz skills will fall off quite a bit, as well as my Angry Bird skills and Cut the Rope skills. The XBox and the DVD player are going to be active dust collectors through Thanksgiving.

To "win," I have to hit 50,000 words. "Following Infinity" drafted at 51,000 odd words, and was edited down to about 40,000, which is on the edge of being short. This time through, I'm aiming for somewhere in the neighborhood of 60,000-70,000, just because I know what will happen to it in the aftermath.

And just for the sake of anyone who cares, I do have the beginnings of a new writing soundtrack coming together. I'm sure some songs will stand out as more important as I write, as some already have, and others will be set aside. But for the moment, everything on the list comes from music released by Peter Gabriel since 1992. If that means anything to you, then perhaps you'll at least have an idea of the tone I'm going for.

Fifty hours to go. I'll keep my Facebook status updated with word count totals throughout the month. Wish me luck.