Monday, May 4, 2020

May 4: Distance Learning Tips for Parents and Caregivers

I’ve been in this teaching gig for a good number of years now. In fact, it would be fair to say that, for better or for worse, it has been one of the defining parts of my life. Of course, this doesn’t mean I have any more insight about what it takes to successfully teach my class (and a few other kids occasionally rolled in there as well) from the comfort of my home office, as I’ve been doing now for the past several weeks. 

However. 

I do believe I have a few ideas to offer the families out there who find themselves in the unenviable positions of trying to manage the education of their child (or children) from home, with very little experience or formal training on how to do it. For today’s post, here are some things I think anyone attempting distance learning from the parent end might find helpful, or would appreciate hearing.


1) Maintain a routine…
When times are more normal and I’d be teaching from my classroom instead of my laptop, I’d be posting a detailed agenda for our school day first thing in the morning. More often than not, it’s one of the first things the students look at when they arrive. Some want to know what they’re doing that day, or if any favorite activities are on the schedule, or what’s for lunch. Some just want to have a check list they can follow to keep track of when they day will end. If the students are used to a routine, they learn the ebb and flow of the day. This helps a great deal if you’re hoping for productivity.

2) …but allow for, and in fact build in some, flexibility.
The routine is important, but it doesn't have to be mechanical. Sometimes having the occasional surprise show up can be invigorating. 

3) Provide for scheduled mental breaks.
I worked on my master’s degree in a cohort group, which means we met for three and a half hours every Monday night and through most of the summer mornings for about two years. There were days it was a punishing schedule to follow. Sometimes knowing the teacher is going to give you a break from your work just so you can clear your head for a moment, or get a snack, or use the bathroom, or whatever short-term distractions are available at home, can be enough motivation to keep the kids going for a few more minutes. 

4) Don’t try to pretend you have the same kind of authority in your child’s eyes as their teacher does.
Have you ever tried to help your kid and were countered with, “But that’s not how Mrs. McGillicuddy showed us to do it!” or something of the like? When it comes to school, what we teachers say and do is pretty darn mighty in their eyes. Why? Because Teacher-Student is the primary relationship we have with them. You’re the parent. As much as you’ve taught them over the course of their entire lives, they don’t necessarily equate that with academic work. They’re used to having another adult take over for that. Because of this, you could very well get more arguing and pushback from them than their teachers ever would. You’re the parent, or the grandparent, or the Uncle Charlie, or whoever you are to them. They have a relationship with you that transcends school. We don’t. This probably means they know where your boundaries are and exactly which of your buttons can be the most effectively pushed. They might try to get away with so much more from you than they would with us. That’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It won’t be an issue with every kid, but I’m guessing it’ll be an issue, at least occasionally, with most. Just do the best you can. 

5) Remember that learning is a process. 
Your kid might get a math assignment that says something like SKILL REVIEW at the top of a workbook page. Sounds simple enough. That lesson might involve reviewing a skill they haven’t directly practiced in months. We don’t teach skills one day, expect them to be mastered, and move on. Most skills are sprinkled in throughout the whole year. If your kid reads a problem and acts like it’s written in a language they don’t know, don’t freak out. Tell yourself, “They haven’t learned how to do this…YET.” Do what you can to help. Or, even better…

6) Let the teachers do their jobs! 
We’re on duty. We’re available. We’re being paid to help. We WANT to help. We know how to help. I can remember meeting with a mom and her child after school one day, because there were so many battles after school about the division homework the child was bringing home. We all sat at the same kidney-shaped table in the back of my classroom, I prompted the kid with three or four questions and boom! Correct answer. The mom stared at me like I was Dumbledore. We can’t sit at the kitchen table and help, but we can talk, email, video chat…all sorts of options are available. Take advantage of us. It’s likely your child’s teacher is itching for the chance to help them out.

7) Give them something to draw or color that they will think is school work. 
I’m not even kidding. It’s like anesthetizing them. They’ll sit there and do it quietly, fully believing they’re pulling one over on you.

8) Sometimes you let it go. If it’s not working, don’t force it. It’s not going to happen. 
I can’t tell you how many times I was halfway through a lesson I thought was brilliantly planned and paced, only to end up seeing it spiral into a slow motion crash and burn. And I’m one of the professionals, and frankly, I’m usually pretty good at this. There are times though that none of that matters. There are times things aren’t going to work. Cut your losses. Maybe you’ll come back to it another time, maybe you won’t. You’re doing the best you can. We’re all trying to swim uphill through a crazy situation right now. No one will blame you.

9) Remember you’re the parent above all else.
It is, unfortunately, going to be a part of your job for this spring to help the teachers help your children learn. We are so happy whenever we see any evidence of how parents are doing what they can to help, or when they contact us to ask questions. Do what you can; we’ll do the rest. Otherwise, keep them safe, keep them happy, and keep them healthy. 

And during a pandemic, I think that, on occasion, the extra Oreo from time to time, both for you and for them, probably isn’t out of line.

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