The 2015-16 school year was the first time I've worked with 4th graders since the Clinton presidency. That year my day was split between working with two grades: 3rd in the morning, and 4th in the afternoon. Next year will be a sort of return to that for me as I prepare to begin a year teaching both 4th and 5th grades, each for half of a day. This is all to say that this past school year has been the one time in my long and storied career that I've ever taught just 4th grade. Since next year will be split between two grades, here's the list of Zen Moments from the one year when I only taught fourth.
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AUTUMN
*The room is full of students finishing their breakfast during arrival. I walk in after hallway duty is over and say, "Whoa. It smells like yogurt, muffins, cereal, and humidity in here.” One kid looks up at me, confused, and asks, "What does humanity smell like?”
*While the class was lining up at the end of Media, I overheard Mr. Reed telling some kids how "A long time ago, TV stations would play the National Anthem at the end of the day, and then the whole TV screen would just turn to snow." To which one confused kid replied, "Even in the summer?”
*"I wonder what food coloring tastes like. I'll bet it tastes like hair.”
*Little girl: "This week went by really fast."
Me: "That's because it was only two days long."
Little girl: "Oh." (thoughtful pause) "Oh! Right!”
*For a warm-up yesterday, students wrote addition story problems. One student conscientiously handed this one in, a day late, today. Take it for what you will: "Lucas has 202 breastmilk bottles. Mom made 606 more breastmilk bottles. How many bottles does Lucas have now?”
*This morning during arrival, one of my girls handed me a coupon for a "Free Cancer Ribben," then presented a collection of 5, made of notebook paper and colored with markers. After I chose the color I wanted (red), she turned to Ms. Enge to offer her a ribbon as well. I tried to hand her my "Free Cancer Ribben" coupon but the girl quickly stopped me, saying it couldn't be used again. Instead, she handed Ms. Enge her own coupon...for 50% off.
*There's been a songwriting kick in class lately. The two competing for the top spot on the charts are "I Love Ice Cream, I Love Rainbows" and "French Toast from the West Coast.”
*Today was the first day back for a student who had been sick for awhile. He's not the most motivated learner and has some other challenges that get in his way. The first thing he did when he walked in to class was ask me for the homework he had missed, because he wanted to keep up. It's nice to see when sometimes the management ideas you struggle to think up actually work.
WINTER
*A girl greets me with this existential crisis first thing in the morning: "I feel...I don't know what I feel.”
*"I think it's my sister's birthday this weekend."
"How do you not know when your sister's birthday is?" I ask.
He shrugs and says, as if it explains everything, "She's older.”
*I told the kids we'd have desk cleaning on Friday.
"Good," one boy said. "My desk is so messy it looks like someone pooped in it.”
*A kid was vigorously washing his hands when I said, "Hey, calm down! You're going to splash soap all over my bulletin board!"
His friend asked, "Where? What bulletin board?"
"That big blue thing on the wall," I said.
"That is not a bulletin board!" he said.
"That is exactly a bulletin board," I replied.
"How can it be?" he asked. "It's not even made out of bullets!”
*This conversation today, with one of my girls:
Her: "I have a question for you."
Me: "Okay, great. What is it?"
Her: "First: I love your shoes.”
*"I have an idea. It's an experiment with magnets we could do at school, but probably not, because it would have a high budget and it'd be dangerous.”
*Overheard by Mrs. Polston as my class walked into the media center: "It smells good in here. It smells like paper and dignity.”
*"My taco said her name was Stella. Then she said I couldn't eat her. But I did anyway.”
*"That was a horrible noise I just made.”
*Never trust a kid who says "Smell this.”
*As we always do on the first morning of the school week, we took time for the kids to share what they did over the weekend. One boy's response: "I ate a ton of pickles.”
SPRING
*"Have you heard of an old band called The Peach Boys?"
*This serves as a perfect example of the extraordinarily positive tone in my homeroom class. We found out at the end of the day we'll be having a new student joining us. One boy asked me at dismissal when his first day would be.
"He starts on Monday," I said.
The boy turns to walk away and fist pumps. "Yes!" he says to himself, with genuine excitement. "A new friend to have!"
*When the custodian walks out of your classroom and says, "Sixteen years, and I've never seen anyone throw up that much.
*I told the afternoon class that their book cover entries had been posted online and people had already started voting on them.
One girl got very excited. "People are voting on them?" she asked. "REAL people??!"
One deadpan little boy responded, "No. They aren't real people. They're made out of Play-Doh."
*We watched a short video featuring a geologist melting samples of rocks. The narrator said how the oven went up to 1700 degrees Celsius. One girl heard this and said, "Well, that'll burn your popcorn."
*"Clowns are scary."
"No they aren't. Clowns are pointless.”
*We had a fire drill this afternoon. While waiting for the all clear, we saw a kindergartner wearing a paper crown of birthday candles run at top speed across the playground. One of my boys said with a complete deadpan tone: "Looks like someone has a birthday emergency."
*"I didn't kick him. I hit him with my foot."
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If you liked these, you might enjoy revisiting these links from the past:
The Complete Listing of 3rd Grade Zen
The Compendium of 5th Grade Zen
Bring on summer break.
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