After a over two years of posting Moments of Zen on Facebook, I thought it might be a good idea to look up the word, read the definition and discover if I’ve been using it correctly. Part of the description in my dictionary app read, “The aim of Zen is to achieve sudden enlightenment... often using paradoxical statements to transcend rational thought.” I admit, I kind of cherry-picked my favorite parts, but you probably get the idea. Achieving sudden enlightenment through paradoxes and transcending rational thought would not necessarily be an inaccurate way to describe spending the day with 3rd graders. Here is the complete listing of all of the Zen moments experienced during this school year. (I’m hedging my bets some by publishing this list now since our last day of school is still two days away. But since the last two days of the year are usually more exhausting than amusing, I think I’m safe. Plus, I can always come back and edit later if I need to.)
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*During our bus safety lesson we discussed why bus windows should not be opened all the way. One student's response (only slightly paraphrased): "Well, because, it isn't likely but it could happen, but there are like some insects like bees or something, and they could fly in through the window and get on the bus, and then there are some people who are allergic to some insects, and that would be dangerous if they were bit, or stung if it was a bee, and if the window isn't open all the way it would be harder for bees to get on the bus. It isn't impossible."
*One tiny little girl raised her hand and told me, with a noticeable tremor of distress in her voice, how her water bottle had leaked and there was a huge puddle on the floor beside her desk. Four other students hopped into action before I could even respond, collecting handfuls of paper towels from the sink dispenser and mopping up the spill for her.
*It seems there's an unspoken rule saying all staples found on the floor should be presented to the teacher for immediate disposal, and need to be handled with a level of care usually reserved for dangerous explosives or Faberge eggs.
*After I finished reviewing directions for a group activity, I asked if there were any questions. One girl raised her hand. "It's not really a question," she said. "It's more of a comment." That's fine, I said, and asked what her comment was. She pointed past me toward the courtyard. "There's a grasshopper on that window right there," she said. "And it's really distracting me."
*During math one little guy was having trouble trying to work out the number of feet in a yard. "I can't answer this," he said. "I don't know how many people are playing in the yard, so I can't figure out how many feet there would be." (This one is my personal favorite.)
*Me having to actually say, "Okay, yes, all boys, girls, pumpkins, AND robots need to get out their math journals now." And that it worked.
*You really don't want to know. (I can probably tell you this now: One boy came up to my desk with a question. This was after recess, after lunch, and about five minutes after our bathroom break. I was fairly certain he hadn’t washed his hands in at least twenty-four hours. While asking his question, for reasons unknown, he decided to plant his hand right on the open nozzle of the water bottle sitting on my desk. I spent ten minutes scrubbing it at home that night.)
*Every Monday morning we take a few minutes to talk about our weekends. Today one girl shared this highlight: "I saw underwear in the street today. It was Spider-Man. Our bus ran over it."
*I forgot to give this to you this morning," a boy said, handing me an envelope with lunch money. "That's fine," I tell him. "We're going to lunch soon. Just put it in your pocket and bring it with." He walks away but comes back moments later with the envelope hanging out of his pocket. "It doesn't fit," he said. I take it from him, fold it in half once and hand it back. It now fits perfectly. "Oh, wow!" he says, the expression on his face reflecting his complete surprise at what just occurred.
*A girl with a concerned look tells me another student had just said the "K" word. I still have no idea what that would be.
*We were playing a new math game, and one boy was stuck in a long losing streak. When he finally won a round, his excitement was so complete he spontaneously broke into jumping jacks.
*I'm catching up on some grading today. We gave the students the writing prompt, "What new things did you learn during our field trip to the planetarium?" One girl's response: "That I had Chuck E. Cheese tickets in my coat pocket." Hold on, it gets better. A different girl: "I liked when they talked about Mars because my favorite singer is Bruno Mars."
*My students have started stacking the chairs at the end of the day to create a throne. This way one person can feel like they reign over the classroom, and everyone who didn't get the throne has one more thing to argue about before we walk down to the bus lines.
*During the chaos of dismissal, my teaching partner walks into the room holding a boot she found in the hall, then calls out to see who lost it. One boy waves to her and says, "It's mine!" She looks at him and smiles gently. "But you're wearing your boots right now," she replies. He looks at his feet to confirm this, then looks back up, smiles sheepishly and says, "Oh. Yeah."
*We didn't have much time to put materials away at the end of math. I told the class, "If you can get everything back where it belongs in under a minute, everyone gets three invisible Gummi Bears.” It worked.
*"I've always got a party in my head, and sometimes I just have to dance!"
*"I'm not crying. It's just that sometimes water comes out of my eyes."
*One of my girls walked in this morning wearing a shirt that showed a french bulldog with a yellow ribbon on it's head blowing an enormous pink glittery bubble, along with a ruffly black skirt over donut-patterned leggings and brown boots that nearly reached her knees. The expression on her face told the world she KNEW she looked good.
*The math assignment was to fold a strip of paper into 6 equal parts. One boy proudly showed me his work, but when we checked it we counted 8. I told him to think about what he could do differently to make it into only 6. He came back a minute later, having torn away 2 of the original 8 sections instead of doing any refolding. I started laughing and said, "This is easily the most creative solution I've seen all day."
*“Anything in your desk can be a toy if you just decide to play with it."
*One boy walks into the room in the morning and notices several people are dressed up. "What's going on with all the fancy?" he asks. "Today's picture day," I explained. "They want to look nice." He looks at me, completely baffled. "I thought that was two days ago." "You were here two days ago," I reminded him. "Did anyone take your picture?" "No, that's my point," he says, then pauses to think and says, "Wait a second...." then wanders away to think some more.
*A boy spends three minutes sharpening his pencil and grinds half of it down to nothing. He finally takes it out, shrugs, and says, "I'll just use my other pencil."
*While in the computer lab practicing how to use some online tools, one girl brought up the notepad and typed "I love pancakes" twelve times.
*This breakfast conversation: "Chewing with your mouth closed is just polite." "Yeah, but I'm not that polite."
*One of my girls raises her hand so I walk over. Her nostril is leaking bright red, and she has enough sticky crimson wipe marks on her two hands to pass for a minor character in a horror movie. She looks up at me and asks, completely straight-faced, "Am I bleeding?"
*We watched a video on how mummies were made. One boy says, "I wish I had one of those. Mummies are so cool." "You caught the part where there's a dead body inside of it, right?" I asked. The kid thinks a moment and says, "Never mind then."
*We were learning about things invented in Ancient China. For one activity, the kids had to choose an invention and list positive and negative things about it. One boy chose paper. One of his negatives: "Paper cuts hurt."
*We all my white board would be covered with birthday greetings for me today. My favorite was the kid who wrote "I love pizza."
*A girl walks up to me first thing in the morning and says, "I'm going to bounce myself like a ball." She then puts a hand on top of her head and begins jumping around the room as if she's a basketball being dribbled.
*We finished discussing Ancient China in social studies not long ago. During a small group activity, one little girl was talking and laughing and generally making a lot of noise. The little girl next to her looked across the table at me and motioned with her arms at the space between the two of them, saying, "We need another Great Wall right here."
*More small group action. One boy spends the first five minutes making a series of odd noises. I finally look at him and ask, "Are you a cartoon?" He thinks for a moment and responds, "Probably."
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Happy summer, everyone! Let’s hope the next three months are filled with happy times.
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