My biggest goal on the last day of school is to help the students feel a sense of closure about the year. One of the activities I’ll usually do is a question and answer session with them, when they get to ask me whatever questions they’d like with the promise that all of my answers will be honest. I always reserve the right to pass on some questions if they bring up things I’d rather not discuss, but that only happens once or twice a year, and most of their questions range from “What’s your favorite color?” all the way to “What’s your favorite cereal?” anyway. In that spirit I did a Q&A here last May, mostly as a filler when I needed a post idea. It was kind of fun to do so I thought I’d give it another shot this year. Last May I had about ten questions. Things are going to be different this time.
What was your first job? Was teaching your first choice for a profession? My first job was a community education summer T-ball coach. Teaching was the only profession I ever seriously considered. I’ve been surrounded by education my whole life; I didn’t grow up in a teaching family as much as a teaching dynasty. I’ve said it before, and it’s true: If you took all of the teachers just on my mother’s side of the family we would have enough people to staff a K-12 private school, including the arts, the administration, and all the athletic coaches. When I started college I planned on being a band director and then an English teacher before realizing I was meant for elementary.
Would you ever adopt two cats? Never. I’d need to adopt two eyeballs to go with the ones I’d eventually scratch out of my head.
Since I got my new router, my remote printer doesn’t work. Can you help me? Yes, Grandpa. I will try my best. For now, just directly plug your laptop into the computer when you need to print something until I have time to get out there.
If you could choose one super power, what would it be? Choose one? Would this mean I’d have to forsake my others?
What do you like best about teaching? All of the apple-themed coffee mugs, refrigerator magnets, greeting cards, and stationary I’m gifted with on the last day of school.
Worst day in life? I’ll do you one better and pinpoint the worst four minutes: The first time I tried watching “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” the year my sister died and the soul-shredding emotional breakdown that followed.
Worst day of school? Best? I really thought about this but I couldn’t isolate any worst or best day. Any bad days are defined by failings, or challenges that get the better of me. Any good days are when I live up to my own standards and lead people into the successes I know I should be doing consistently anyway. But that day I sprained my ankle during recess duty kind of sucked.
If you could change anything in the world? I’d create a system that would guarantee I’d never again have to sit beside an extrovert on an airplane.
Any regrets? Yep.
If you could change one thing in history? I don’t know if I would. Chaos theory and all. How do I know any change I’d make would result in an overall improvement?
Change in your history? There would be one. But I will never tell anyone about it so don’t bother asking, not even if you think you have any “Oh, but you can just tell me” pull.
Aliens real? Ghosts real? Psychics real? Angels real? I’m assuming this series of questions is asking my opinion, since I’m not expert on the validity of any of these topics. Aliens: The scope of the universe and the laws of probability would dictate it’s almost a certainty; watch some "Cosmos" and you'll see what I mean. Ghosts: Spooky haunting Halloween ghosts? I doubt it. But there are certainly more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy. Psychics: Well, they’re actual people. So there’s that. Angels: I believe in angels every time I see you walking down the hall, Sara. (I’ll admit that was cheap, but you kind of teed me up.)
Are you religious? Yes. I don’t wear it on my sleeve, but I am. And let’s face it: Exactly how much of anything do I wear on my sleeve?
Thoughts on death penalty? I’ve come to believe that life is so rare and precious that I can’t even bring myself to watch “Game of Thrones.” But I’ll admit there are situations when I hear about some of the atrocious things people can do to each other, and my lesser nature might reflexively and momentarily think differently.
Democrat or Republican? Democrat. But I think anyone who approaches political ideology from a perspective that refuses to acknowledge the necessity of fair compromise isn’t just part of the problem, but the entire problem.
Happy with the President? I think Julie has shown our union admirable leadership these past several years. Or did you mean someone else?
That enough? Apparently not. More people kept asking.
Why does Target put little sale tags over an item on the shelf that says “on sale for (ex) $23.99” and when you lift the tag, the price on the shelf is really $23.99? Because they want you to think there's a difference between being “for sale” and “on sale,” when either term could be interpreted as grammatically appropriate for an item sold in a retail store. But congratulations on finding your way behind that curtain.
Should we have a team banner this year? Probably.
When are you getting another dog? I’ve seriously thought about it a few times, but whenever I do the scars just rip wide open again and all the pain is refreshed. I loved my little guy more than most of the people I know, and I had to endure the nightmare of watching him die a slow and awful death. I honestly don’t know if I could put myself in the position of even possibly doing that again.
Why is it so damn busy at work when there is a full moon? Because you WORK IN A HOSPITAL.
Are you hapipy? I’m not familiar with that word, but... sure?
Are you coming to Serum’s with us next Friday? That’s the plan, unless someone gives me a reason not to.
Do you like tacos too? Tacos are fine. But I feel I’ve become far too defined by them in the past year, and in a way that was never warranted.
What is the point of pink pens? Two ways to answer this: (1) The point is the end of it where you touch it to the paper, or (2) to write things that will be pink.
What’s happening at Serum’s next Friday? An as of yet undetermined number of people from our staff will be getting together after school to enjoy some appetizers, beverages, and each other’s company. Also at some point I’ll become overwhelmed by the number of people in the group and my introverted amygdala will activate my fight-or-flight response, directing me to seek out someone I can have a prolonged and thoughtful conversation with to avoid all possible small talk, and preferably at the edge of the group so I won’t have anyone to my back. I’ll keep that up until I find a subtle and socially acceptable moment to escape so I can hurry home and recharge.
What is your favorite childhood memory? The first thing that comes to mind would be a week I spent at my grandmother’s during a high school summer when many of my cousins were also there.
What is your favorite meal to cook? Favorite? I could answer this if the question had been phrased, “Since you generally see cooking as more of a necessity than anything else, what routine of meal preparation are you least inconvenienced by?”
Well, how about some light to medium sarcasm? Yeah, how about some?
Besides writing, what’s your favorite thing to do ever? Listen to my cousin Jean sing. Of course.
What would your best day be like? You know, it wasn’t so long ago I had a day that could have set that standard: I made the phone call that settled the deal when I became a client of the woman who is now my literary agent while I was in Seattle visiting one of my best friends and his wife. Later that night we drove into the city and saw our favorite band perform. Plus it was sunny and 70 degrees in Seattle that day, while it was something like 42 degrees and stupid back home.
What do you value most? Loyalty. Once people have earned it from me (which can happen surprisingly quickly since I am fairly guarded) I belong to them. But if that trust is ever broken, it’s not an easy repair.
What’s your favorite day of the week? I love a Sunday when I know there isn't anything about the coming week I need to scramble around to prepare for.
If you could be anyone who would that be? I wouldn’t want to be a different person, but there are probably a few aspects of who I am that could stand to be tweaked a little. But that wasn’t the question....
Who is your hero? I have some "favorites" I admire, and some role models I respect. But I think hero is a pretty charged word to throw around.
How much do you miss my smiling face? Now, who are you again?
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone, and what did you discuss? My mother called me at school one morning to clarify some plans our family has coming together for the summer. It kind of freaked me out because she never calls me at school in the morning, and I’ve become conditioned to believing that phone calls coming at highly unexpected moments commonly mean really bad news.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I don’t think this can be answered outside of a rough estimate. It would depend on the size of the individual’s tongue, the amount of Tootsie Pop surface area that was affected by each lick, and how much saliva was being produced.
Does anyone really know what time it is? No. Time is a human construct, and therefore too open to interpretation.
What is the sound of one JWavy hitting himself? Only one person can answer that, and we haven’t heard from him in quite some time.
With your eyes closed, explain step by step how to tie your shoes. That’s not a question, and you’re not the boss of me.
Thanks for the questions, folks. If you have any follow-ups, maybe there will be a round three in a year or so....
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