In case you missed the first of these a couple of weeks back, I'll catch you up. These lists of Pointless Observations are a sampling of my internal monologue during a time I'm running through a lot of snarky comments to keep myself amused. (And seriously, has "snarky" still not earned its way deep enough into the established lexicon to earn a pass from the online spellcheck?) So, I went to the state fair yesterday with my sister, her husband, and a couple of nephews. Here's some of what I was thinking:
**Whoa, whoa, whoa -- where do you think you're taking that stroller, lady? Cutting me off like that would be a bad move.
**I wonder how many of the t-shirts being worn here today are XXL or higher. I'm guessing 40%.
**We've reached the critical tipping point where I can't distinguish between the smells coming from the food stands or the body odor drifting off of the other 700,000 people here. The only thing that stands out anymore is when someone lights up a smoke. And usually when I'm five feet downwind.
**I think I now understand why Bruce Springsteen's "Girls in Their Summer Clothes" has been playing in my head for the past two hours.
**I don't think I've ever eaten anywhere less sanitary than the state fair food building.
**Oh! Thank you, state fair worker, who thought that dollar bill on the ground belonged to me.
**I am so thirsty I can feel the tissue on the inside of my mouth absorbing this Diet Coke like a sponge before I even have the chance to swallow it.
**Aaaanndd... it took me exactly 35 minutes before I saw some kid from school. Never fails. I think Washington State was the only place all summer I was able to experience pure anonymity.
**Are you kidding me?! The Space Tower is only three bucks? I am so talking at least Matt into going on that with me.
**This is ridiculous. St. Cloud State has a booth. St. Mary's has a booth. Education Minnesota has a booth. And despite all of the tuition and union dues I have ponied up in my life, none of them are offering pencils for my collection.
**Seriously? Who buys a salad at the state fair?
**Where else in the metro area would I be able to see a overdressed woman with botox and diamond earrings standing in line behind a tattooed goth couple who can't stop pawing at each other?
**The booth for MyTalk Radio 107 has a sign advertising a "Lactation Station." I've never listened to this station before, and yet I think I have pretty firm grasp on what their main demographic could be.
**I wonder what the ratio would be between people wearing tank tops and people wearing long pants?
**Hey, there's KARE 11's Eric Perkins, doing that "walk around with a cell phone to my ear so people will think I'm talking to someone and won't bother me" thing.
**I think there must be some kind of law requiring any carnival midway to play "Insane in the Membrane" by Cyprus Hill at least once every five hours.
**Wow. Going by the airbrushed art on that 'rock and roll jukebox' funhouse, Avril Lavigne and Steven Tyler have to be blood relatives.
**Matt! Holy cow! You won the biggest Skee-ball prize! At least your brother won't be jealous and cranky about that for more than an hour.
**I should have turned on my treadmill app when we got here. According to my feet, my back, my knees, and that knot in my calf that's going to be even worse tomorrow, I've walked at least 80 miles since we got here....
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