Dear Kiana,
This is the third post I’ve written over the years in which I tell people embarking on their college careers how to live their lives, inspired by the old person theme of “If I knew back then what I know now.” The beauty of this particular post is it’s the first time I can write to someone actually attending my alma mater. Not that I have any cult-like devotion to the school; ultimately it served its purpose, and did so in a way that I’m sure wouldn’t have been much better or worse than any other number of colleges. But it was mine, so I have deeper emotional attachments to it beyond the GPA and diploma it provided me.
If I was given the chance to relive a month from my life, I would chose any random month during college. Not because that was the absolute peak and everything has been downhill since (although college was AWESOME), but because I still believe it to be the most formative part of life, and to go back and find myself immersed in so many defining experiences again with a truer awareness of how important they were would be exhilarating. Since I can’t do that though, I can at least pass on any wisdom I have, and hopefully you’ll get something out of it. So for you and anyone else out there about to begin on this adventure (Meredith and Phil, I’m looking at you), here’s everything you need to know:
*First off, people are going to burden you with advice as you make this transition, just as I’m doing now. Listen, nod politely, and seriously consider what they (we) say. Then make your own decisions.
*On the surface, the biggest reason for going to college is to learn. You’ve demonstrated you can already do this successfully if you got into college, but the rules are about to change. Back in high school, it was the job of your teachers to teach you. In college, it’s your job to learn. Some teachers will be great and you’ll learn things from them -- both in regard to academic content and otherwise -- that will stay with you throughout your life. Other teachers will be pure crap. You’ll use them as mental punchlines and shake your head in disbelief when you think about them over the years. None of this ultimately matters. In college, they are just the vessel. What you’ll get from your classes will be what you decide to get.
*The blank slate is a beautiful thing. You’re going to be surrounded by people who don’t know anything about you, which gives you great opportunities to define yourself. Never again will you have so many people your own age as a part of your daily life. It’s entirely possible -- in fact, likely -- that you still haven’t encountered some of the most important people in your life yet. Try to recognize when those relationships are forming, and appreciate them.
*St. Cloud in autumn is astonishingly beautiful. Soak it all in. Make a point to sometime talk a walk through the big park on the opposite side of the river from campus.
*Never be in a dorm bathroom with bare feet.
*Accept that it’s okay when things don’t go your way. Life happens the way it does, and you won’t always be thrilled with how things turn out. Sometimes you are going to be knocked back on your butt, and really, really hard. Everyone fails. Who you become will largely be determined by how you handle the failures when they occur. Appreciate the setbacks and the roadblocks for the less-than-obvious guidance they’ll provide. Remember those bad moments will eventually be reduced to footnotes someday, and the good ones will only build momentum.
*Own your history. Everything good and bad that has happened to you up to this point has made you into the person you are right now. That will continue as life goes on. Learn from it.
*Keep exercising. There’s probably a lot of pizza in your future.
*Explore your campus. You’re paying a boatload of money to be there, you might as well know your way around the place. Take in the history of all that came before you and all that’s happening around you. It will open you up to a wider version of the world than you may have considered before, and could introduce possibilities into your life that you otherwise may not discover. Plus if you know the buildings well you’ll have the best shortcuts mapped out for when you oversleep, and you’ll know the best inside paths for the days you have class and it’s -20 outside.
*To extend that thought, explore the activities available to you. Try things out. Meet people. Step out of your comfort zone from time to time and bring in new experiences. Little bits add up over time.
*To extend that even more, explore the city. Try out the bus routes; they really aren’t that tough to navigate and will broaden your available world even more.
*The four or five or six years you’re in college might seem like an eternity now, but they will absolutely fly by. Soak it up. And if you want to write? Take in all the details. Notice things. Speculate. Wonder.
*If / when you eventually move into off-campus housing, don’t get an apartment by the meat packing plant on the far side of the hockey arena. And if you do, don’t get a second floor bedroom that looks out over the road where they trucks drive by when they haul away those meatpacking remnants. Because, gross. I promise you there are things in those trucks that nobody ever needs to see.
*Get your heart broken really, really badly at least once so you learn that life goes on.
*Even if your generals feel like something you could blow off, don’t. They establish the groundwork for your GPA. And when you have a class with more than 100 people in it and the professor gives you a test on a bubble sheet that has more than one version, be very sure you turn in your bubble sheet to the correct pile. Because if you don’t you’re going to fail the test spectacularly even if you knew all of that stupid Earth Science material forward and backward and NOBODY will care and it will still irritate the life out of you twenty years later.
*The music you discover in college has the potential to be a big part of your adult life. Pay close attention to it.
*If you have a morning class in Stewart Hall, stay away from the windows and out of the sunlight. (Click here to find out why.)
*When it’s logistically reasonable, get a job up there. A little spending money never hurts, but it will also bring you balance. Bonus points if you can find a job that will somehow give you experiences related to what you’re studying. I put in two years at the Boys and Girls Club up there, and it is no understatement to say it changed the direction of my life.
*Home won’t be all that far away, but resist the urge to spend too much time away from St. Cloud. Keep yourself as immersed in all of it as you can, because you only get to do it once.
*Be extremely careful when accepting a drink from someone you don’t know. “No thanks” is always an option. Stronger responses are also permitted if that doesn’t work.
*College is a perfect time to get as much stupid out of your system as possible before you have to evolve into a full-fledged, responsible adult. Take advantage of this, to an extent that doesn’t result in anything dangerous. If you do something that ends up with a weekend of embarrassment? Fine. Gotta learn to bounce back from that. Permanent scars? Not so much. Be self-aware enough to take the moment and consider your actions. And remember, even though you have a huge circle of people who love and support you, you are still one of mine. If you ever find yourself so completely stuck in a situation you can’t find your way around, I hope you’ll remember I’m here.
Now get off the Internet and go finish packing. You’ve got a world to make.
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