I’ve been a big fan of movies most of my life, probably dating back to the first time I saw Star Wars in fourth grade. And I’m still a fan now. But I think, at least to a certain degree, some of what draws me to the movies must be changing.
I can think of several examples in just the past few months when I’ve seen moments in movies that are so ridiculous they border on self-parody. You know somebody somewhere in the creative process of bringing these movies to the screen thought these moments were good ideas, but I can’t believe these decisions were motivated by any kind of creative integrity. And I know, it's business, and movies are usually made to the point of making money. But I think we'd all benefit from the movie makers of the world taking an occasional pause and giving a second thought to some of the things they're doing.
I’m not about to get going on a rant of how unrealistic these moments are -- I’ve always been an advocate for the suspension of disbelief; that's usually half the fun. If you’re the kind of person who is going to sit down in the theater and think, “Oh, come on!! So that push cart that Indiana Jones and his friends are in JUST HAPPENED to jump off the rails and sail over that big open space and then PERFECTLY LANDED right on the other side with no problem at all? Like that would ever happen in a million years!” That’s not necessarily the kind of moment I’m thinking of. I’m thinking more moments that would fit perfectly into a satire about Hollywood. I don’t know how many people saw it, but there was a movie back in the 80s or 90s called “The Player,” which was exactly the kind of Hollywood satire I’m talking about. In it these Hollywood producer types are involved in twisting deals about a movie they’re trying to make. At the end we get to see a quick moment of how that movie resolves, when Bruce Willis (in a cameo) blasts his way through a wall to save Julia Roberts (also in a cameo). As he picks her up and lovingly carries her through the debris, she smiles and says, “What took you so long?” He smirks in reply, and says “Traffic was a bitch.”
That's the kind of ridiculous moment that could plausibly turn in a big-budget blockbuster Hollywood movie for sure. And the moments I’ve noticed this summer have all come from those same kind of big budget movies. Any of them would have been perfectly at home taking the place of the Bruce/Julia conclusion in “The Player.”
Here’s some of what I’ve seen so far:
** Today I saw “The Wolverine.” Not bad, but not a life-changer either. There was a conversation taking place between two life-long friends about how one of them about was to take over the largest corporation in all of Asia, while at the same time she’s being pursued by the Japanese mafia and a variety of super mutants. I would have loved it if one of them had said to the other, “Can you believe this #&*%! is really happening to us?!”
** “Grown Ups 2” got several eye rolls out of me, but none were bigger than this: Somehow in the course of one day, somebody suggests having a party at Adam Sandler’s house. Then it gets an “80s” theme, so of course EVERY PERSON IN TOWN is able to put together perfect 80s costumes at a moment’s notice. And if that can happen, well, why not have the J. Geils Band show up and play a set? Hey, look! There they are!
** “White House Down” was a movie I really liked. But when “wrong place at the wrong time” D.C. cop Channing Tatum stood there barking into a satellite phone, telling some military general or the Speaker of the House or whomever wasn’t listening to him that they couldn’t order a bombing strike or whatever because he had to save the President of the United States, all while wearing the sleeveless t-shirt he borrowed from Bruce Willis's character in “Die Hard?” I hope Channing Tatum is a smart enough guy to have thought "Am I really saying these words?" while shooting that scene.
** My absolute favorite of these moments so far was in “Red 2,” another movie that I really liked, maybe one of my favorites of the summer. But the image of Helen Mirren calmly spraying machine gun fire at two dozen bad guys while the Lotus she’s riding in goes into a slow-motion spin, and all the while the music of Linkin Park pounds through the soundtrack?
I had to laugh.
