The series finale of “The Office” was on just a few nights ago. It took a season or two before I became caught up in the show, but ultimately it was one of my favorites for a long time. I even kept watching after Michael Scott moved to Denver and the show became much less funny in the reinvention, because it was still capable of moments of greatness, even if they were much less frequent. (And the storyline about Jim and Pam’s marital strife surrounding “Athlead?"That was so obvious and artificial that it alone was enough to get me to take the show out of my DVR queue. Some pretty lazy writing there. Just saying.)
What makes the difference for me in whether or not I connect with a show is the characters. When you have several years to spend time getting to know about the lives of the characters involved in the story you’re experiencing, you form kind of relationship with them. And if the finale of the show resolves things in a way where people have to go their separate ways to bring the story to an end, it’s easy to have a sympathetic emotional response to that. It’s almost as if with all of the hugs and kisses and goodbyes and tears, the characters are reacting in proxy for us. A quote from the final scenes that stuck with me -- and with a great deal of the Internet as well, judging from the reaction it had -- was Andy saying during one of his interviews, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” That quote reminded me a lot of another quote that stuck with me from another favorite show of mine: “Cheers.” One day while sitting at the bar, Fraiser Crane (before he had his own show and became an insufferable windbag of a caricature) commented on how the old gang seemed to be going their separate ways and dug up some obscure poetic quote: “Oh, death in life, the days that are no more.” I’ve always liked that quote, but I liked Andy’s better. It both acknowledged that the good old days are something that can be beautiful and meaningful, and that it’s worth taking the time to notice this so you can appreciate them while they’re still happening.
I feel this perspective building around me right now as the school year is in its final days. It’s almost a presence and grows in intensity as it approaches. I’m lucky to say I can’t think of a single class I’ve ever been happy to send home at the end of a year, but of course it’s been harder to let some go than others. Even a class with an unusual number of challenges will have personalities in it that leave behind a real absence when they’re gone. I’ve had several students come through my class over the years that I knew I’d miss. The feelings fade after some time, but they never really disappear if they were important.
Of course it’s the same with adults too. Adult relationships are different because they usually evolve into something else instead of just ending abruptly. But sometimes situations change beyond what we’re able to control, and to some degree it’s going to hurt when one chapter closes off. Maybe that’s why those series finale episodes become so emotional. The characters we’ve been vicariously living through for so long are saying their goodbyes to us as much as they are to each other. We all have had our painful goodbyes to face, and its unfortunate that they usually aren't wrapped up as neatly as they are on television.
I think we almost have a responsibility to remind the people surrounding us what’s beautiful about our shared lives and about each other. As guarded of a person as I can easily be, I hope I’m not so guarded that my people don’t realize how important they are to me. Sitting here in my office with no one but the iMac to hold me accountable for what I might decide to write, it would be easy enough to just type my way through a list of friends and family and colleagues and be clear about their importance to me, and then hit the “Publish” button and live with whatever reaction might follow. But I can’t speak for how anyone else would feel about that, so it wouldn’t be fair.
Instead, I’ll just have to hope that whatever example I try to live by or whatever awkward attempts I make at demonstrating how I feel don’t go unnoticed. And when time brings along those moments when the everyday world is about to become the good old days, I hope I’ll have the presence of mind to appreciate it and just soak up as much as I can.
