I’m old. Even if older people still tell me I’m just a kid and even if people usually guess me to be much younger than I am (I come across as very immature), I’m undeniably old. I know this because the music I grew up on isn’t just getting labeled as classic rock anymore -- it’s getting played on KOOL 108. They started calling it Minnesota’s Greatest Hits when they tweaked the format back in January soften the blow, but let’s face it: It’s always been the oldies station.
For the longest time, oldies meant music from the fifties and sixties. Back in high school when my best friend and I would drive around on the weekends, we’d listen to the “Saturday Night Classic Cruise” show. He really liked listening to the music, and I liked thinking that listening to songs from the American Graffitti era helped me project the illusion of possessing some kind of romantic depth. But to be honest, most of the time I would have been a lot happier with “Born in the U.S.A.” or “Pyromania” instead.
And so isn’t it great for me that now the hits from those very albums are getting played on the oldies station!! I don’t mind saying that KOOL 108 has become one of my go-to radio stations now, just because I know that most of the time they are going to be playing a song that I know and probably at least like, and just might love. I suppose if you live long enough, every song becomes an oldie (but not necessarily a classic.)To celebrate this inevitability, I’ve decided to listen to an hour or so of Minnesota’s Greatest Hits and write down whatever ideas or memories or opinions they inspire. You’re welcome....
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive
I actually saw them open for Van Halen on the 5150 tour. BTO was made up of four older guys (who were probably about the age I am now) who had apparently seen more than their fair share of backstage catering. They had a sense of humor about it though, and were selling concert t-shirts that read “BTO: Half a Ton of Rock and Roll.” As for this song, I’d like it a lot more if it wasn’t for that bu-bu-bu-baby stutter. Thing is, it’s not even a real stutter. It’s an affectation! I remember Casey Kasem (the national pop DJ bridge between Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest, for those of you too young to know who he was) told me on American Top 40 one week how Randy Bachman faked that stutter to cover for the fact that he couldn’t hold a sustained note. The weird things that stick in my brain....
The Warrior - Scandal Featuring Patty Smyth
Seriously? Smyth? MTV killed this one for me. It’s not a bad song but I can’t get past two things about it: (1) The video was one of the truest examples of everything wrong that dates the 80s, and (2) the band was named Scandal Featuring Patty Smyth, when the album before, with their song “Goodbye to You?” They were just Scandal. There was nothing so great about Patty Smyth that made her deserve a separate billing like that. The change always left a bad taste in my mouth. Come on, Patty. Let a band be a band.
Hello Goodbye - The Beatles
Never been a fan. They have a few songs I like and I admit that a lot of my favorite artists were heavily influenced by them, but I just never understood the universal Beatle adulation. At least it’s a short song. Oh, wait, it’s not. There’s still another verse I have to sit through...
Hot Blooded - Foreigner
Foreigner was one of my musical bedrocks in junior high. I’m not sure how many notebook back covers I drew the cover for their “4” album on, but it was enough to master the cool bubble letter font they used in their logo. I didn’t get this song until the greatest hits package “Records.” Good song, but the guitar solo is lacking -- it’s just kind of there and doesn’t really compliment the rest of the song, and in the end it sounds like the guy playing it ran out of ideas of with another seven or eight seconds to go. The first time I heard this was when my cousin Dan’s band played it in his backyard at one of his brother or sister’s high school graduations back in the 70s. I had just started drumming so this would have been about 5th grade, and I thought seeing a guy playing on a real drum set was about the coolest thing ever.
Caught Up in You - .38 Special
Unless you were one of the Alabama fans who all seemed to work at McDonald’s in Elk River back in the mid 80s, .38 Special was about as close to country music as you were allowed to like and still be cool. I always thought their lead guitar player was underappreciated, and again, being a drummer, I liked that they actually had two drummers in the band even if I couldn’t figure out how they’d pull off two drum sets live. I actually bought this album and was a big fan of the cover artwork. If you’re curious, hit your search engine of choice and see if you can figure out why it would have appealed to a kid in eighth or ninth grade.
You Don’t Mess Around with Jim - Jim Croce
This guy was a little too folky for me to ever appreciate, but believe it or not my mother actually bought his greatest hits album on LP, and until my sister and I discovered Styx, it was the closest thing to a rock record in our house. Not that I ever played it much; this was back more during the days when I was busy memorizing “Gilligan’s Island” and “Hogan’s Heroes” reruns instead of listening to music.
Dream Weaver - Gary Wright
I remember hearing this a lot on the AM back in what must have been 1976 or 1977, when I started listening to the radio. Much like some guys will watch sports just so they have something to talk about when they get together with other guys, I listened to AT40 so I would have some idea what my older cousins were talking about. The song is a little too space-hippie for me, but it’s not terrible.
The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis and the News
I really liked the band and the working class hipster image that seemed so bluesy back then but now seems less authentic when mixed with the dated eighties pop sound. I saw them once at the state fair with two of my high school buddies on the Sports tour, the summer between 10th and 11th grade. I know that because I remember this guy I didn’t like much complimenting me on my tour shirt during journalism class, even if it was a really bright purple. I was only able to buy that shirt because I may have sold an extra ticket outside the gate... Our tickets were for general admission so we waited nearly two hours before the show to get in and get good seats. And yeah, we were almost crushed to death when the gates opened. It was kind of scary.
Baby Hold On - Eddie Money
Never got Eddie Money. Good example of a guy who probably got a record deal from playing in a lot of bars. He had some good songs and even a couple of classics (not this one, because not every old song is a classic), but I don’t know how much actual songwriting he ever did. Anytime I hear Eddie Money now I think of a different song of his, which makes me think up a whole other memory from my college days. And not every story needs to be on the Internet.
Dream On - Aerosmith
Not my favorite old Aerosmith song. I’m not a huge fan to start with, especially since about 1988 when they started making a career of releasing different versions of the same four songs (power ballad, heavy rocker, mid-tempo swing rocker, occasional stab at demonstrating they weren’t slaves to formulaic pop). Now, Sweet Emotion? There’s a song. This one? Eh. This was the kind of song that if it came on the radio when I was cleaning out the garage on a summer afternoon? I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy it, but it wasn’t worth making the effort to change to a different station.
I’m Alright - Kenny Loggins
There’s no point writing about this one. If you try to say it doesn’t make you think of the dancing gopher from “Caddyshack,” you’re lying.
Summer of ‘69 - Bryan Adams
I LOVED Bryan Adams. When some of my girls asked me on the last day of school this year if I’d ever owned any clothing with neon colors, I had to admit my t-shirt from the Reckless tour had hot pink inside of the sleeves which was only visible when you rolled them up, and you can bet that I did. Bryan Adams was the first guy I heard drop an F bomb in concert, and since I was fifteen that was as cool as you get. This song opened side two of his Reckless album, which probably goes down in history as one of my thirty most-played album sides.
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John
Elton really suffered mid-career with a lot of FM radio pop songs. It made sense that decades later he and Billy Joel toured together because both of their careers started off with great songs, then they hit real creative slumps, then they had late 80s/early 90s comebacks. I bought the CD of this album just to have “Funeral For a Friend / Love Lies Bleeding,” but this is another of the good songs from that. It’s a perfect example for me of the kind of song I like for of the overall tone, because I still don’t really know all of the lyrics or what they mean. And I’m not curious enough to find out.
Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac
I did my first teaching field experience in a 4th grade classroom at Pleasantview Elementary in Sauk Rapids. There was a girl in that class named Rhiannon. I immediately figured her parents had to be Fleetwood Mac fans.
Authority Song - John Cougar Mellencamp
I’m including the Cougar because it was still part of his stage name when this song came out. Not one of my favorites of his, but I do have more than a hundred of his songs in my iTunes library, so I guess I’m a fan. The thing I remember about this is how it demonstrates that I’ve been a rule-following little toadie from way back when. I’d hear the song and think, “‘I fight authority?’ Why would you do that? You’re just going to get in trouble.” Cool drum break in the middle of the song though. Usually a cool drum part is all it takes to win me over.
Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
For the record I’m hearing the radio single edit of the song, which is an abomination. I loved the power ballad album version, but when they remixed it into this mess? With the upbeat poppy rhythm guitars instead of the John Sykes crunch riffs and the saccharine keyboard flourishes and the dubbed in backing vocals? Of all the things Whitesnake should be deservedly embarrassed about, this version has to be at the top of the list.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got. Return to your day. I’m going to go try counting gray hairs.
