An Open Letter to Meredith

Hey kid.

Maybe you'll see this, maybe you won't. Even if I now have the privilege of being one of your Facebook friends, I've noticed you have more friends than many rural communities have people living in them, so I'm not entirely sure if my link will get noticed in your news feed or not. (Someday you'll have to tell me how you manage having that many friends, because it just baffles me.)

If you do see it, great. I've been very happy to reconnect with you seven years out. So pay close attention as I give you one last lesson before you spread your wings on out of state next week, leave for college and begin the next chapter of your life.

As you probably know better than most people, what sorts of advice my adult self might pass along to my younger self has been a topic on my mind quite a bit this summer. Since I can't actually do that, I will instead tell you a few things that might fall into the category of things I wish someone would have told me as I was leaving for college. Or perhaps things that were told to me that I should have listened to better than I did.

1 - The Blank Slate is a beautiful thing. You'll get down to Dayton, settle in, and spend the first few weeks and months walking around anywhere, doing anything, being whoever you want to be, and nobody will care. No history, no baggage, no labels, especially for you, being so far away. Everything will be completely neutral and waiting for definition. You'll live in glorious, intoxicating anonymity for a good long time, and even after you establish your new circles of friends and acquaintances, that's how things will be most of the time. Looking back I probably would have gotten more out of college if I didn't live 35 minutes from my hometown, so I totally think you've got a good thing going. Enjoy it.

2 - I know you're psyched to be on your way and ready to leave CRHS behind, which is awesome; I really pity anyone who looks back at high school as the high point of their life, especially since I think it's more something that you just survive and escape. BUT. It's important to remember that everyone and everything about life here that you leave behind had some part in forming the person you are and still will become.

3 - I don't think this will be much of a problem for you, but try things out. Soak up college life, whatever that winds up being for you. Experience things. Some of my best memories from that time came from the chances I took, and some of my bigger regrets had to do with opportunities I let pass by.

4 - It's a great idea to try and get a job. A, there's the money - you can only eat so much macaroni and watch so much basic cable. B, and more significantly, having a job will provide you with some balance. It gives you a whole separate aspect of your life away from school. If you can find something off campus and related to your field of study, all the better. I'm not sure I would be the completely awesome teacher I am now without the work I did on the front lines at the Boys and Girls Club before I had any idea what I was doing.

5 - There are going to be crap professors just like there were crap teachers in high school. This is all subjective; sometimes you'll click with them and sometimes you won't. In high school, it's their job to teach you, but in college it's your job to learn from them. And when you throw yourself into doing your best and things still don't quite work out, let that be okay. I got a B instead of an A on a major English paper once because I argued with the professor about the use of one descriptive word she didn't like that I wouldn't take out. (I was right, by the way.) You probably want to handle those situations with a little more poise and diplomacy and maturity than I did. But in the end, the thing to remember: Your GPA will only wind up being one line on the resumé. It's important, but it's not everything.

6 - Don't trust any guy who seems really polite and has a drink in his hand if it's past 11 P.M., especially on a week night. Seriously. I know how these dudes think. You're better than all of them.

7 - Learn to recognize the small moments as well as the big ones. You have specific ideas in your head about why you're so excited for college. When those things happen, and when those expectations are surpassed because there will be times when they are, pause and allow yourself half a thought to appreciate that it's happening. Some of the strongest memories for me were things I never saw coming. Especially pay close attention to the music you listen to and love over the next few years. It will be very important to you throughout your adult life. I have a lot of those songs from my younger days on a playlist now, and the clarity of the memories that mix of songs evokes can be overwhelming at times.

8 - You know what? Sometimes things really aren't going to go your way. That's how it works. You'll make mistakes, or things will just take a wrong turn of their own accord, or even a combination of the two. Just pick up the pieces and move on, and don't make it bigger than it needs to be. When things are coming apart or you just feel overwhelmed or broken down or whatever has you feeling justified in beating up on yourself -- I COMMAND you to remember what you did for me when my sister died. To this day I still tell people it was the most meaningful gesture anyone made throughout that whole experience, because it was. And you were just a kid at the time! Any person who would do something that thoughtful for someone else has inestimable value.

9 - While living on campus, don't hook a Clapper up to the TV so you can turn it off without getting out of bed. It's an invitation for people to pound on your door at two in the morning to turn it back on. Which, trust me, sucks.

10 - You have your whole world officially at your feet. Go own it. I'll just be back here staying proud.