Puppies vs. Dogs

Here are some reasons why dogs are far superior to puppies:

1) Dogs understand the benefits and joys of sleeping all night and well into the morning. Puppies will hear a newspaper being delivered nine blocks away and decide that is their alarm clock. Puppies hear you scratch your elbow, from three rooms away, through closed doors.
2) Dogs do not chew newspaper bags, coasters, quarters, empty water bottles, their leashes, binder clips, or each other. Puppies? Not so much.
3) Dogs have figured out there are some things better done outdoors. Puppies are more arbitrary about such activities and where they are completed.
4) Dogs cry and squeal about 10% as much, and only when there's really a reason for it. Puppies will squeal like their lives are in danger if they just need something to do.
5) Dogs are okay about sitting beside you or on your lap, and don't feel compelled to lick your face. Puppies will lick shamelessly, and always seem to try particularly hard after they've eaten their own poop.
6) Dogs know the world is not their chew toy. I know, kind or redundant in light of #2 on the list, but it bears repeating. Treadmills. Rock Band drum kits. Decorative indoor trees. Rocks. Anything made out of plastic. Pencils. Paper clips. Anything on the kitchen counter they can jump high enough to reach that is not at least seven inches from the edge.
7) Dogs understand you may not be enthusiastic about sharing your meals. Puppies, while very protective of their own puppy food, are more than willing to give you several opportunities to share.
8) Dogs know if they are going to throw up, they should run into the bathroom and do it on the floor that's easier to clean up, and an overwhelming percentage of the time they make it. At least my dog knows this, and trust me, I am eternally grateful for his developing that awareness. We didn't have any puppy vomit this past week, but I thought I'd just take advantage of this opportunity to point out how awesome my dog is.
9) Dogs know that just because you are up and out of bed doesn't mean it's play time. They appreciate a gradual beginning to the day. Puppies go from 0 to 60 in the time it takes to walk through their crate doorway.
10) Dogs know that when they go outside, there is business to take care of and they get right to it. Puppies are very interested in exploring all new environments, and do not feel the pressures of any schedule prompting them to hurry it up.

People occasionally encourage me to buy a 2nd dog so Spencer has someone to keep him company while I'm at school. Right now he is snoozing in the same blanket nest he's had to compete for over the past week, and he hasn't moved from it since the puppies returned to my sister's. Trust me - the two of us are getting by JUST FINE.