Oh Wow, Do I Just Hate Puppies

My parents bought two new puppies about two months ago. And then they have spent three weeks of those two months traveling. Nice. My mom tells tales of how much progress they are making in their housebreaking, and I'm sure if you are a puppy in a household with two retired people who have the time to take you outside every hour on the hour, it's easy enough to present the illusion of housebreaking. So far Seamus the Instigator hasn't relieved himself indoors, but his compatriot Butch has dropped a few pup turds. It's hard to be too mad at him though, because life has been hell for poor Butch since he got here.

First you need to know that of the two pups, Butch is the nervous/shy/anxious/frightened one. So when I made the mistake of setting my dinner on the coffee table within dog level reach, they decided to see if my dinner was any better than theirs. My dog Spencer would never do this, so of course it didn't even occur to me how stupid I was being. I yelled them away in no uncertain terms, to the point where Butch decided to hide from me in his crate for about an hour.

Then when I took them out, figuring they'd need to go after having the life scared out of them, Seamus goes right away and while I'm trying to shovel him back inside, he twists and tries a different direction, throwing me off my balance so I wind up stepping on Butch, who squeals and tries to run away with such force that he actually does, pulling himself free of his leash and collar, and now REALLY wanting nothing at all to do with me. After finally getting two dogs securely inside I finally coax Butch within reach thanks to the blessing of the Baggie full of puppy food I had in my pocket. After immediately palpating all of his limbs and watching him walk and play for the last few hours and eventually trust me enough to lie beside me on the floor, I'm reasonably sure I didn't break him. I'll feel better if he's still moving in the morning.

Let me think.... They are still my charges for approximately another 94 hours.

This is why I have ONE dog.